Friday, October 31, 2008

The Odd Couple

'Welcome to Campus Radio' went the sweet voice of Sanjana. This was the radio whose limits was restricted to the campus of the prestigious institute and run by the third year students. Every day her program interviewed some old student of the college. Today it was Prem. As per Sanjana, Being in the college for more than four years made the students expert in various fields like college life, love, etc etc.

Hmmm. A first year student Anil had this confusion in mind of his girlfriend's behavior which he expressed over the call to the expert of the day, Prem "She is a quarrelsome person. She is ready for a fight at the drop of the hat. She doesn't even spare the milkman. The milkman got delayed and my Ankita had this sarcastic remark, 'If I knew you would be so late, I would have asked to bring the Tea itself.' The milkman got irritated 'I am a milkman, not a supplier in any hotel' and then a scene erupted.'
Prem consoled, "Its not only her. Many people, if they don't have their morning cup of tea on time, they would get irritated in the same fashion."
Sanjana backed it up, "If I don't get my cup of tea on time, there are chances that I would set the canteen on fire. So Campus Canteen Caretakers, If you are listening, Have a Fire Exit done at the earliest."

Prem thought that Anil was simply seeing a problem. But Anil Continued, "No... No... It doesn't stop there. The last day, she fought with her classmate, who pointed out some errors in her paper and suggested changes. And my Ankita behaved very very rudely 'Did I ask you to review my paper and give your opinion. Tomorrow, after my marriage, you will peep into my bedroom and tell me where I went wrong.' That girl lost her control and the fight that ensued afterwards really deserves to be censored."
Sanjana interrupted "If you wish, You can continue. There are no kids here. And we are enjoying Aren't we Listeners?".

Anil didn't give any chance for Prem to speak, "She even doesn't spare her parents. Her parent's wish is that she comes to the home at least once a week. The home is just 80 Kilometers away. She rarely visits once a month and has this beautiful answer, 'I had asked Vijay Mallya to start a special Kingfisher service from my college town to my hometown. But because of cost cutting exercises, he has his hands tied up'. And then her mother starts the 'respecting elders' talk and she goes overboard."
Sanjana again with the RJ enthusiasm 'There are no kids here and we don't need elders to tell us what we are to do. That is Campus Life, Babu Mushayir"

Prem had only one question, "Did she ever act like that with you." Anil was quick to reply, "Not once in the last eight months."
Prem thought for a while and said, "Anil, You seemed to be seeing only the imperfections. Beyond those imperfections is a perfect girl. She is a disciplined girl who likes to have her tea on time. She likes none to poke their nose into her lives whether it be her paper or her bedroom. She wants to be independent and take her own decisions. You on the other hand, I believe, is the one, who would not raise a voice, even when your house is burnt down. Don't worry too much."

Sanjana signed off in her own fashion, "Mr Anil. Don't be a moral police. Be cool as Mr Gautham Buddha and take well care of your Phoolan Devi. "

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The saree effect

To make its staff more creative and to reduce work stress, the management has organized some creative courses. And Prem got himself registered for the drawing class.
That day, he found himself sitting next to Sharanya. The drawing teacher was saying how a simple thing like 'Aakash' or Sky could be beautifully painted if seen from the inner eyes.

Sharanya slowly hissed into his ears, "I have news for you". This was her favourite line. If there were any special happenings in the office, she was the first to know it. Before a husband could know that his wife had delivered a baby boy, the entire office knew it and congratulated him, thanks to Sharanya. Before any gentleman in the office could give a love letter to his female colleague, he got a good slap. Such was her talent. Prem was worried as to what was waiting for him.

But Sharanya had something sweet for Prem, "Your Girlfriend Simran wore a saree to the office, yesterday" Prem's facial expression had changed and Sharanya had completely captured his attention and she continued "Green Color. And all the girls in her office were then taken over by the Green-Eyed monster as she had turned many a boy's head on that day"

Prem was now imagining Simran through his inner eyes, when the teacher interrupted and asked him, "How would you like to color the sky?" Prem without thinking twice "Green" Teacher was not the one to accept the answer easily, "And may i know the reason". Prem found himself searching for a answer, "Arr.... Ahhh..... Bhoomi (Earth) is fresh green. Seeing it, Aakash (Sky) fell in love with her. It forgot about itself and filled its mind and soul with Bhoomi and hence it is green". Teacher didn't buy the answer and continued with the universally-accepted blue color.

Prem was impatient and wanted to hear more. And Sharanya perfectly knew how to increase the madness. She was showing him a full fledged movie right out there. Like those commercial breaks which interrupt the flow of the movie on the small screen, so did the teacher, "The sky is described in various manner. Some say it is a board on which many secrets and fates are written. Some say it is a blanket covering the heavens above. And how does Prem explain it." Prem was now in a poetic mood and described "It is the pallu of her saree which is flying high and above and covering the shy face of Aakash." Teacher was enjoying this session, "If it is a saree, then it must be Draupadi's never ending one which Dushashan tried to pull that day and now the same is flying high in sky."

Prem now yearned to see her and he wanted to see her immediately. Sharanya was waiting for this moment as she had the photo captured in her mobile. But she was not willing to show it unless her senior Prem sanctioned her leave application. She strongly believed in the Jokers statement from the Dark Knight Movie, 'If you are good at something, don't do it for free'

Prem blindly did so and now the picture of Simran, in that designer saree was right there in front of his eyes on that small mobile screen. The teacher had also completed his scenetic picture of the sky and the sea shore and asked the class , "How is the picture?". Prem was unaware of what was going on but answered, "It's so beautiful that I would like to put on a slow romantic number and dance with her for the whole night on that seashore and under that blue sky of yours. Me and her alone"

The whole class turned towards him. Sharanya was giggling. Then the teacher looked at the organizer who was sitting in the last bench, "It seems that work stress has grown on some. Its better you also conduct some counseling sessions"

Monday, October 27, 2008

Happy Deepavali to All

On that deepavali night, Prem was sitting on the verendah with the two tiny tots explaining them the significance of the deepavali nights. One was a small sweet girl of eleven years old and another a mischievous boy of thirteen years old. Sitting on two small chairs, they were listening to their uncle Prem intently.

Prem began with Yama Deepam "The young bride knew that Yama would come to take her husband's life on that fateful night. So she lit the complete house with festoons of light and decorated the entire house with gold and silver. Even though it was night time, it seemed that sun had come to stay there. When Yama came there for his duty, he was blinded by the brightness. All night, the bride sang and danced so that her husband didn't go to sleep and thus she succeeded in saving her husband and confusing the death god"
The girl's eyes also lit up, "Hmm, if the same is captured in song and dance sequence like a bollywood movie number, it would have been extravagant like the number from Devdas or Mughal-E-Azam"
The boy was thinking of something else "Wrong comparison, girl. She was seducing her husband the whole night. The right song would be 'Raat Baki, Baat Baki... Hona Hain Jo Hone Do' from Don"
One tight Slap. The girl's bhakthi sentiment was hurt and she hit the boy very hard on his chubby cheek.

Prem felt sorry for that boy, but he continued with Naraka Chathurdasi, "Narakasura was a evil tyrant and had held captive around 16000 cute girls. He was invincible as he had a boon of being defeated by his mother, bhoomidevi. Bhoomidevi was reborn as Satyabhama, wife of Krishna. So Krishna with Satyabhama, came flying on Garuda and impregrneated the fortress of Narakasura and killed him. But killing him had brought him such fatigue that he returned to his former physique only when he had a good oil bath. So every year he wants his devotees to have a oil bath on his behalf so that his enery is rejuvenated"
The girl was a true krishna devotee "In Gita krishna says, 'Everything I do, I do it for You'. Now He is giving a chance for his devotees to do something for him"
The boy had to comment, "It is not in Gita, It is by Bryan Adams. And then... 16000 girls held captive by that demon. What a collection he must have had. Krishna spoiled all the fun"
Splash!!! The girl was very angry and a entire bucket of cold water was emptied on the boy.

Prem did'nt want to see any boy, even if he was a small boy, given such a treatment. But he continued "Bali Padya. The demon king Bali was a very generous one. But he was filled with utmost pride. To reduce his pride, Krishna came down as Vamana, young boy like you (pointing at the mischievous boy). The Demon king asked the Vamana to wish for anything. He didn't ask for a blank cheque or some bungalow. He asked for three pieces of land his foot could lay on with three steps. With the first two, he got the two worlds. And with the third step, he took bali's life and sent him to the nether world."
The girl with utter bhakthi, thought " Vamana showed the vishwa roopa and with his tiny steps captured the three worlds. Hmm, how Bali must have felt with the foot of the supreme on his head."
The boy couldn't resist his comments, "Vamana must have grown to the size of Godzilla. And when he laid his foot down on the earth, it must have made the sound like that T-Rex made in the movie Jurrasic Park"
The girl got very angry. But she couldn't slap. The boy had covered his chubby cheeks with his both hands. She couldn't splash water as the boy had now worn Raincoat. Like Vamana, she lifted her feet and pushed the small chair on which the boy sat, a little hard. Thud and down fell the boy.
Moral of the story. Dont hurt the sentiments of a girl, even if the girl is a eleven years old.

Happy deepavali to one and all.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Mere Naseeb Mein Tu Hain Ki Nahin

Prem has a new neighbor. A software engineer and a bachelor, Rammurthy. No... He is not your twenty-something software engineer, he is sixty plus. It could be said that he started the trend of software engineers in that city. The old man now led a secluded life. It is being said that, he had devoted the last few years of his life for the development of some software which was to blend religion with science.
That day, Prem heard shouts of victory from Rammurthy's house "Govinda.. Mukunda... Murari..." In English, it can be translated as "Eureka...Eureka.". Now Prem was very curious of this software. So he sneaked into the neighbor's house when the latter went for a little stroll.

The software had a catchy name "Kismat Connection". The name said it all. The software enables you to find out the one who is destined to be your soul mate. How it works? It took the Indian Jyothir Shasthra from its roots and in its various forms and linked the same to the personal databases available across the net and used google earth to highlight the current location of the soul mate, along with their current snap. Did it really work ? Test data were fed and results were compared with actuals and they were on spot.
He decided to use the software to know whether Simran was there in his destiny. Crooning the song "Mere Naseeb Mein Tu Hain Ki Nahin", he fed his birth details.

The processing started and google earth zeroed on a local Male Gym. Prem was confused. But the result drove him completely nuts. He couldn't belive it. The local Gym teacher, Sridhar, a male(!!!) was his destiny, said the software. Image of the muscle man Sridhar showing off his biceps with bare minimum cloths was displayed with the caption "This Macho Man's shoulders is meant only for you." No chance!!! Prem couldn't resist talking to himself, "I can't be a Gay...Or Am I?..." Was this software not gender sensitive, Like some which were not case sensitive ?

So he hit the back button and cross checked the data and realized that he had failed to change the gender from female to male. After the small correction, the processing started again and this time the google earth zeroed in on a kindergarten school. Prem supposed that some kindergarten teacher was destined to teach him ABCs of love. But that was not the case too be. A cute image of a little girl, maybe five years old, was thrown up on the screen with the caption "You are the twinkle of her eyes". Prem couldn't believe his eyes. If this girl was his destiny, he has to wait another twelve years for this baby girl (she reminded him of the diapers ad) to mushroom into a beautiful princess. He didn't like the waiting game. He thought the program had some bugs and sure there was one. As the gender was changed, date of birth got reset to 01-01-2000.

After correcting the date of birth and checking other input details thoroughly, the submit button was hit. As the page was being downloaded, the excitment on Prem's face was very clear. But he didn't realize someone coming from behind and hitting the escape button. It was the software developer himself. Rammurthy was not happy with Prem, "This software is not meant for you. This is only for all those lazybones and cowards with huge money to waste on finding out their destiny sitting from the comforts of their homes rather than venturing out and finding it for themselves. I know that their count is huge in number. But I will not like to see you in that list" Prem thought to himself as to whether this old man was praising him or trying to drive him away. Anyway, he just vacated the room.

But hardly he had kept four steps, his mind told his eyes to peep through the keyhole. When Prem did, the old bachelor was found using the software . The old bachelor had fed his own details and was waiting eagerly for the results. The software was very fast to screen the following message "No Image to display. You Have run out of age. Better luck next life. Till then this song is especially for you."

Buddham Saranam Gachami...Dhammam Saranam Gachami...Sangham Saranam Gachami

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Let's Search Her

Prem couldn't stop himself. After waiting for three months, he decided to speak to Simran. He went to the terrace and pressed the numbers with a speed succession. He started praying as soon as the numbers were pressed, "Pick Up.... Pick Up... Pick Up". And when she picked up, A Lightning strikes and in that split second, his Nokia became lifeless. Frustrated, Prem looked up at the sky and cursed the Lightning, "Were you waiting for this moment. You ruined everything,"
Then as if someone fell from the sky, there was this guy, standing in his terrace, with a cow-boy hat and suit, all in white. He seemed to have come directly out of a detergent commercial. He introduced himself as God of Lightning and showed him the visiting card which read "Lightning at your finger tips". Lightning God seemed to make an apology "I feel I have done wrong to you. If you wish, I can transport you directly to her place in a split second." But the problem was that Prem didn't exactly knew where she was. Lightning God or Minchu (kannada word for lightning), that's how the visiting card read, had the solution, "I can take you to three places in no time."

Minchu snapped his fingers and a white horse appeared out of the blue ( literally). Prem's first destination was the house where she was a paying guest. They landed directly into her room. She was not there. Minchu opened the wardrobe and saw the huge collection of her dresses and Sandals. Minchu was experimenting with the makeup sets. Minchu was delighted and exclaimed "What do I call this one? It's better than Anthapura of Apsaras." Prem just with a smile, "This is what they call a Girl's Room" Minchu returned it with a smile, "Heaven on Earth"

"Let's try the office. She may be working overtime..". Before Prem could complete his sentence, they were there in the office. But the office was completely deserted. Seeing all those Hi-Fi equipments and wires and switches and the freezing studio, Minchu got freightened as to whether they have landed directly to hell from heaven. Prem comforted him saying that it was only a recording studio. No one was there but a voice was a romantically crooning a kannada song, Minchagi Nee Baralu (If You come like a lightning, my girl). Minchu was a bit irritated, "Where can I get that person whose singing that song. I want to strike him and let him know that, there is nothing romantic about a lightning strike."

Only one other place she could be there at this time was her home place and with her family. In a second, they were there. But it was dead silence. Slowly he searched for her. He found her three brothers sleeping like rocks. And there there she was. The sweet sister of three big brothers, Simran, cuddled inside her blanket. He was rememberd how Simran always made fun of herself, saying that she was shoorpanaka (Shoorpanaka was the younger sister of three brothers, Ravan, Vibhishan and Kumbakarn). But seeing the sleeping beauty, he thought comparison to Goldilocks would suit better. Minchu, sneaked from behind, "Do you want me to wake her up ? After I strike hard in the skies above, thunder will make a loud ear-deafening noice immediately and she would be woken up and you can talk with her. " Prem couldn't believe that Gods didn't use their brains, "You Fool! You will wake up the entire house. Her Sight is enough for me"

After seeing her in that sleep state and filling his heart to the brim with that joy, he prepared to make the return trip home. Surprise was waiting for him as Minchu refused to make the return trip , "I said I will take you to three places. I didn't mention anything about return journey. Sorry. I need to hurry. I need to make some strikes, that too on mobile towers. I enjoy it." And with a devil's grin, the lightning God vanished.
Prem looked around. It was nearing midnight. He was some 70 kilometers away from home. He looked at the sky above, "Trust God. But carry your wallet."

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Nadiya Kinare

One fine day, Prem sat all to himself on the banks of this river. He sat looking at the locket in his hand. The locket had the pretty face of Simran in it. He couldn't have her, no matter what he tried, he knew it. Both of them were incapable of fighting against the society. At least, her sweet memories are there with him. He was so lost in thought, that he failed to notice the locket slowly slipping from his hand. Before he could catch hold of it, it fell into the river and went down deep into the waters.

Prem couldn't lose the locket at any cost. As he was pondering his next move, there was a huge splash and a male figure with a golden axe appeared out of the waters.

"Wow" said Prem who was taken by surprise. The figure with a voice that had the dolby stereo effect, "Don't be afraid , I am the River God". Prem was laughing a bit, "With that axe in hand, You look more like a Serial Killer from a C-Grade Bollywood movie." The River God was a bit confused, "I thought these were your's". Prem didn't take that lightly and shouted, "What!! Do I look like a woodcutter to you. I am a Software Engineer"

The River God just disappeared and came back with a laptop. Prem thought that River God was trying to lure him , "Do you think I would come all the way from city to this river bank with a laptop. Gimme a break. Let me do my own search."

The River God with a disappointed face disappeared. Prem felt that River God will not show his face again and so he prepared to dive into the water. As he was about to get in the act, River God surfaced again. "Shit", cried Prem "What have you got for me now ? My brand new Mercedes...No No.... My latest mobile Nokia N96"
River God didn't make a mistake this time around. It was Prem's Locket.
Prem with a quizzing look, "Why do you always do the right thing only the third time around. Is it how you operate ?"
The River God cleared his doubts, "No.. Not that way... I test people... But his time around... I didn't want to return the locket. I found the face attractive"
Prem felt very bad and wanted to give one tight slap. But he stopped himself as he was dealing with a God and just took the locket and moved from the place without looking back.

River God had something more to say, "Prem, You get angry with me just because I wanted to steal the locket from you. But what have you done with the society which is keeping Simran away from you. Why can't you be mad at them?"
Prem didn't had any answers for the question. With a face that showed his plight, Prem started his bike and speeded away.

River God, "In this modern age, No one wants a moral story. Even children are giving little importance to my Story. Its high time, I hired a PR Guy to get a complete image makeover"

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Time to declare..

On Saturdays,Prem and his friends come together and discuss everything under the sun. On that day, before they could begin their chit chat, Santosh's mobile rang. It was his girlfriend Deepika and she seemed to be in a very depressed mood. Instead of speaking like a friend, Santosh started giving advices. Everyone were full ears, though the conversation was carried out in a low voice. Santosh was not that good in communicating or understanding things.
The conversation went like this

Santosh, like a travel advisor: "Take a break and go on a holiday"
Deepika, with a bit of anger : "Hrrr. I will go to the himalayas and become an ascetic and never return"
Santosh, with a mischievous laughter : "That will never happen. I will come over there and disturb your penance like Vishwamitra did to Menaka"
Deepika, didn't find the joke laughable, "You fool, its the reverse that happened. You don't even know what to compare. Do you know how King Vikrama begged the apsara Urvashi to stay back?"
Santosh hardly knew the story except that Kalidas had written something on them.
Deepika disappointed, " Who am I asking."


Santosh, tried something else to console her, "Ok. If You cant go that far. Go to the local Kids park and sit in the mini train with those kids. It really works"
Deepika, wanted to strangle santosh on the spot,"Grrr. I will not sit in the train... I will sleep on the tracks in front of the approaching train... that too on the konkan track"
Santosh, again tried to bring some laugher into the conversation, "I will not let that happen. I will get a crane from the mangalore dockyard and get you lifted away from the tracks"
Deepika was looking forward for something else from him, "You Stupid. Why cant you come and lift me and carry me in your arms. I am hardly fifty kilos. Can't you lift even that much weight. Cartoon character Poppeye is better than you"

Santosh, tried to be a bit serious, "OK. I think you have been stuck with boredom and deja vu . So go out and see new faces and make new friends"
Deepika wanted to smash his face, "Yeah. You are right. I should meet new people and make a new boyfriend"
Santosh, still tried to crack a joke, "Oh... So you are bored with me.... Its hardly six months.... Even in a job people stay for a year to get a experience certificate"
Deepika got mad and shouted loudly over the phone, "I am not looking for a experience certificate daa.... I am not in a job here. I am in .............. I am in............." she stopped and slammed the receiver.

Prem understood the matter, "It's serious. She doesn't want your advices or silly jokes. She is looking something more from you. Stop Playing around with emotions. Either you say that you are just a friend or you have more in your heart. You cant drag further like this. " And Prem and his friends decided to leave Santosh alone for some time.

Monday, October 20, 2008

At the Receiving End.

Prem had been summoned to his senior's office. It was a great day for one of his trainees, Spandana. She had completed her probation period and was expecting confirmation of the same. It was Prem who had picked her from the campus and trained her on the job and she was his pet favorite. She was only twenty four and with many dreams and aspirations. But the Seniors had something else in store for her. The corporates always know to feel the pulse of the economy and not of any individual.

The senior in his fifties had seen the many sides of the economy and exactly knew what he had do in this economy, "Prem, we need to either downsize our manpower or reduce the cost on them. This is the list of employees whose salary should be slashed to 60-80 percent of what they receive now depending on their period of service. They have the option of accepting the same or terminate the contract with two months salary. The same termination clause will not apply to those with less than eight months of service. With more than two years of service are not covered in this list". Prem was devastated to hear this. Prem saw the list and saw the name of Spandana and her salary would be slashed to sixty percent.

Prem, "Why this move, Sir ?" The Senior , "We have to move along with the economy. We can reduce the production and the area of operations. We cannot compromise on quality and the promise of continuity of services to the customers." Prem's mind was thinking of Spandana. 'What about our promise to employees of a great working environment. It was he who had motivated Spandana to join the organization and showed how she can move up the career graph within the organisation. It was he who had shown her the moon.'

The Senior was not the one with emotions as he continued, "We can't cut too much on the finance cost, though we can ask for rearrangements." Prem's mind raced back to Spandana. She had acquired a new Honda Activa only a month back and was learning the same. She has also to make the monthly instalments. The bank will not agree for rearrangements with her.

The Senior continued , "We have plans for future and to secure our future, we need to make this move." Spandana's Plight has fully occupied his mind. Even Spandana had planned for the future. She wanted to save for her marriage which was due in the next year beginning and with salary slashed, can she save what she had planned.

Prem didn't knew how to communicate the same with his junior, Spandana. Luckily she was not in her seat. He just kept the correspondence on her desk. He couldn't communicate the same on her face and he thanked God that she was not in her seat.

Every day, Spandana used to vacate the office with a good bye to all. On that day, Prem didn't get that good bye. Even the next morning, Spandana was not there to wish him good morning.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Real Picture

After going through more than 3 dozen horoscopes and waiting for 2 full years, some how Sudesh's horoscope matched bringing his bride search to an end. A no objection certificate was also received from the girl's family. Even the bride seeing formality was completed. Everyone were waiting for the boy to say OK. Someone said to Sudesh to make some inquiry before giving his consent. In this age, when banks take market feedback before giving the loans, where companies check credentials before employing someone, Sudesh thought it was a right move. So he decided to make a personal visit to Mr Prem, who was the next door neighbor of the girl Veena and college buddy of Sudesh.

After all the host formalities, Sudesh showed the photo which showed the girl draped in a well-dressed saree, "Doesn't she look so traditional in those dresses ?" Prem couldn't believe this. He had seen the girl all the time in modern dresses like jeans and tops. In fact, this was the first time he saw her in a saree. He knew that Sudesh was averse to modern fashion. But he felt, a little white lie wouldn't do a big damage, "Yeah, most of the time she wears traditional dresses. She always maintains distance from the modern fashion." Prem comforted himself telling that this wasn't lie. It was just some words traditional dresses and modern fashion misplaced.

Sudesh continued in a dreamy tone, "She cooks nice. She had made jelabis and doodh pedas for us." Prem was about to burst into laughter. The girl had long back forgotten the route to the kitchen. Leave Jelabis and doodh pedas, with great difficulty would she make a cup of coffee. But girls learn fast. So another lie wouldn't matter, thought Prem, "Yeah, If I don't like my mother's dishes, I just go into their house and satisfy my taste buds. She will keep you satisfied."

Sudesh had more, "Her mother says that she is simple and doesn't involve in too much chatting or roaming." Prem thought of how these mothers can tell so many lies. The girl had two mobiles. After the nightfall, the mobile rings continuously and it goes to rest only at midnight Roaming! even the girl's parents wouldn't know until she returns, where she had been. Trekking was her favorite hobby. Here goes one more lie, "Rightly Said. I have hardly seen her speaking on the mobile. And most of the time she ventures out, its with her father."

Sudesh was too happy with the answers and went to get a wash before taking the leave. At this moment, the girl Veena came running into Prem's house. She didn't knew that Sudesh was watching her from a distance. She was in the very traditional dress of Jeans and tops. She was asking Prem to test the dishes she had made for the first time in her life. No, it's not some chinese items. It was Upma and Idli. And then her mobile ring and discussions was about the group's latest trekking plans. Talking over the mobile, the girl left ignorant of Sudesh's presence.

Prem didn't wait for Sudesh to ask for anything. He could read from his eyes. "Ok I lied a little.... Ok Ok a lot. But remember one thing. She is a good girl. Its not the dressing that is important, its the personality and she is a sport. Its not the cooking that's important, its the care and affection and she is an angel. Its not the conversation that is important, its how she makes you feel and with her , you will never know how the time flies. Believe me. You should be lucky enough to have her. And this is the real picture"

Sudesh seemed to agree with Prem and left with a positive feedback.
Prem's mother teased her son "Last lines were true and inspiring. But still, for all that you said, before that, you need to make a visit to Tirupathi to get yourself cleansed"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Youngisthan

Early Morning 6.00 AM:
Simran was doing her usual jogging rounds when she was forced to give way for a bicycle who irritated her by his constant ringing. It was not even six in the morning. 'what is the hurry for this teenager' thought Simran. Simran assumed that he must be going for the cricket session that is happening in the local ground. She told her jogging partner " Early morning, is the time to revive the lost energy and focus on the mind rather than waste energy on mindless game like cricket"

Noon 12.00 PM:
Though it was october, there was a lot of discomfort. So Simran thought of sneaking out of office and getting a cup of ice cream. And whom did she find at the cash counter. The same teenager who was collecting the change from the cashier. The teenager didn't even look at her. Simran said to her colleague "He is my new neighbour, staying with his uncle. But look at him, not even looking this side." Colleague commented as they saw the teenager moving towards a table where a beautiful chick was seated, "How can he recognize you, when he is with someone special."

Night 9.30 PM.
After sitting late at office, Simran started her journey back home. And whom did she find in the bus. Yeah the same teenager. The weighty college bag was dangling from his back. Simran thought to herself, as she heard the boys discussing about movies, "Must be returning after watching some first show."

Late Night 11.00 PM
After dinner, Simran sat on the porch for some time with her mother and saw the same teenager in his verendah talking over the mobile. Simran getting disgusted "Look at him, Mom. Early morning he dashes off in his bicycle probably for that cricketing session. Afternoon, he is in the ice cream parlor with someone special. Returns very late from college and now at this hour speaking probably sweet nothings."

Mother was quick to retort. "Wrong, child. You have got him all wrong. He wakes up early and works as a newspaper boy. Then he goes to the ice cream parlor and works as a waiter there. For him, as a waiter boy, only tables are important. So probably he didn't even notice you. Then he goes to the evening college to complete his graduation, When he gets some time in the night, he takes his uncle's mobile and gives his poor mother in the village a ring"

Simran felt very bad and angry at herself for thinking in that fashion. She remembered a quote which she read somewhere, "It's better to understand a little rather than misunderstand a lot"

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Boy, My Hero

An alliance had been fixed for Priya and her marriage was due in a month. Simran was curious to know how the romance was going on between the lucky two.

Priya looked somber when Simran mentioned romance. Priya "As Girls, we expect a lots of romance. We dream a lot. But reality is different. Don't misunderstand me. My would-be is a gem of a person. But the problem is he need to take a crash course on romance."

Simran didn't want to pester Priya for reasons for such a statement. But Girls would be more willing to tell their stories even if one doesn't ask for the same. So Priya continued "I remember after the engagement, I said that we need to meet at some lonely and quiet place. So he picked me up and took me to a very quite place."
Simran was quite excited "So You went to some Park ?"
Priya with a dull face "No! We went to a Ganesha temple"
Simran seeing the disappointment on Priya's face comforted her "Thank your stars, that he had not selected Graveyard. Its still quiter place."
Priya felt otherwise "That would have been better. When we were in the temple, they had a Pravachana and my would-be got immersed into it and while returning discussed in length on the same."

Simran was enjoying the same, but didn't want to display the same. Priya continued "After some days, we decided to meet again. I made it clear that I would like some place where young people gather and spend their quality time. I had the local shopping complex in my mind."
Simran was thinking of where the hero would have taken her to "Hmm. And where did your prince lead you?"
Priya with some smile on her face that didn't say that she was happy "He got nostalgic when I said young people and quality people. He took me to his college library and really that was a big embarrassment"

Simran thought some advice would do some good "Ask him to take you to a movie".
Priya "That was also tried. I thought he would get two seats in the back. But he got two seats in the front row. His idea was that Horror movie can be best enjoyed by viewing it from the front seat."
Simran "Now that should have been fun. Watching a horror movie with your loved one?"
Priya "Fun !. It was like that Mr Bean Episode where he went to a horror movie with his girlfriend. Not that worse. In the climax, when there was real horror and I wanted to hold his hand, I found it missing. My Hero was more fear filled than me and was holding his Rudrakash mala in his hand and uttering repeatedly his God's Name."

Now Simran really couldn't control the laughter, "So what have you decided. To break the relationship."
Priya "No Way. He is a gem of a person. All I need to do is make a Man out of Him. I love him da"
Just then her mobile rang and beamed the name ShakthiMaan. Simran looked at her quizzingly.
Priya with a slight blush "Its him. He adores ShakthiMaan."

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Might of the Man

Prem was already late for his office. Though he learned to drive recently, he still tried to speed up the vehicle to reach the office at the earliest. But he saw a policeman waving at his car. Prem started getting butterflies in his stomach. Prem had left his License and the registration papers at Home. How to escape ?
After Prem stopped, The policeman just jumped into the vehicle and asked Prem to follow the silver coloured Maruthi Alto which was moving at a high speed ahead of him. Wow! thought Prem. His dreams had come true. He was in a real chase. He decide to give his best and with full confidence kicked on the accelerator.

The chase happened through the busiest streets and Prem loved it. It reminded him of the computer game he had played with his sister's kid some days earlier.
Like it happens, as the hunted crossed the signal, the signal turned red. The policeman gave green signal to Prem to ignore the traffic signals and speed up. Prem had some story to tell his friends as he broke the traffic signal with some pride. Was it some terrorist or some dacoit or gangster who was being chased. The cop was not in a mood to answer.

Then Prem found himself behind this rascal of a truck driver who never left room for Prem to overtake. Prem found it difficult to get past the truck. Now, the cop got irritated and fired at the rear view mirror of the Lorry forcing him to make way for the prince Prem. Prem enjoyed it as he took his car in Top Gear. The cop had already given him permission for breaking the speed limits. Prem enjoyed breaking the traffic rules with the permission of the enforcement agencies.

Now the time has come to bring the hunted to a halt. Prem manouvered between the vehicles at break-neck speed and found himself in a mud road and like it happens in any action movie, the vehicle skidded with tires making a screeching sound before it came to a halt in front of the Alto forcing the hunted to stop, creating a small sand storm. Very Majestically and with his RayBan Glasses on , Prem got down from his cab. Prem was on cloud nine. He took his mobile and started recording the feat. Only thing missing was some background music.

Prem looked with excitement as the cop got down. Would there be a gunfight? Would there be a encounter? Would there be a fist fight ? Prem was seeing all kinds of dreams.
But as the hunted came out of the Alto, Prem couldn't believe his eyes. All the time, he was chasing a very gorgeous lady in her early thirties. She looked nothing less than a bollywood heroine. No fear seemed to have gripped her. She appeared to be very cool and looked quizzically at Prem and the cop looking for an answer.

Then an amazing thing happened. Instead of handcuffing her, the cop came down on his knees and folding his hands together , started asking for her forgiveness " Don't leave me alone. Just treat me like your another child and forgive my all mistakes. My dear wife....................."
Prem couldn't and didn't want to hear much further. All this chase and overtaking and breaking signals and rules for a woman's sake, thought Prem. No flashback was required for Prem to tell that the cop was just another husband trying desperately to stop his wife who has walked out after quarreling over the silliest of the issues.

No matter, how strong a man is, in front of his woman, he is as strong as a new born child is . :)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Whose fault is it anyway?

Shantanu, the young hulk was in his room, weeping out aloud. He had separated from his cute girlfriend Sarika, who always gave very little exercise to her brains.
Prem tried to console him and asked him as to the reason for their separation. Prem guessed "New man in her life? " Shantanu shook his head in disagreement and said with much grief "When we have relatives to do the harm, why do we need enemies. It's Arjun".
Prem found it hard to swallow as Arjun was Shantanu's sister's son and he was barely six years old. Shantanu took him through the flashback.

Shantanu usually spent his after dinner time chatting sweet nothings with his girlfriend from his room where no one dared to invade his privacy. But on that fateful night, Arjun, the naughty kid was giving him an uninvited company. The kid was enjoying himself jumping from the window onto the bed and repeating the exercise umpteen times irritating Shantanu. Like always, Sarika said those sacred three words very slowly. Shantanu heard it but was not able to enjoy the moment gracefully because of the leaping frog Arjun. With the receiver in hand, he shouted at Arjun "Stop Monkeying Around, You Silly Fool." Sarika completely misunderstood the same and slammed the receiver unhappy that her boyfriend responded in this fashion. She didn't even wait for an explanation.

Arjun was immediately shooed out of the room. After cursing her boyfriend for some minutes, Sarika decided to give a call and sort out any misunderstanding if any.
After Shantanu picked up the phone in his room, the mischievous Arjun also picked the phone in the hall. As Sarika was clearing her throat to express herself, Shantanu getting angry at Arjun who was eavesdropping, "You Brute... Will You Keep the Phone down." Now Sarika was deeply hurt and just blurted "Bastard" and slammed the receiver.

Shantanu had enough and had to set right the matter before It was too late. His mobile was lifeless on that day. So he decided to take a stroll and call through the coin phone. He slowly sneaked out of the house.

The phone was ringing and Sarika was in no mood to lift. When Shantanu turned with the receiver in his hand, he found Arjun there. At the right moment, Sarika lifted the phone. But Shantanu without knowing that, just shouted loudly at the little devil Arjun "Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you give me torture ?" That was the icing on the cake.

There came to an end a good relationship.
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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