The Swayamvar

Swats or Swasthee got bored waiting for the pooja at the temple and asked her elder friend Pradhyumna or Prad, who had forced her to come there to tell her a pucca time-pass story. Prads thought that a mythological story would suit the situation. But she wanted something futuristic. So Prads smiled and decides to convert the mythological story he had selected into a story of Swats herself from the pages of her future life,
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"It was Swats' 24th birthday and her father has arranged for her swamayamvar. Who's who of India were there. IPL superstars. Bollywood heroes. Indian Idol singers. Even the Gods in the heaven wanted to attend the swayamvar after hearing about her beauty. But sage Narad, the heavenly wanderer of the seven worlds told them that the girl had already selected a simple human soul as her life partner and the garland would be put around his necks
Her selection looked like a mixture of Harry Potter and Abhishek... only difference is he didn't had a wand and he was not a flop show. And his name was Rahul.But the Gods became jealous and Lord Varun said "He may have cast his spells, but we too have some tricks in our bags..." and Lord Vayu added "and he may be lucky till now. But not any more."
The four gods decide to make her choice very difficult by participating n the Swayamvar by taking on Rahul's appearance. When Swasthee came to the stage with the garland in her hands, she found five rahuls to her surprise. And she was not Draupadi to select five men as her husbands.Swayamvars usually had a MC who would introduce the eligible bridegrooms. For this swayamvar, Goddess Saraswathi was herself the MC. And Swats looked towards her for help. Saraswathi had a tough task on her hand. Being a Goddess, she cant allow the Gods lie to be caught because of her and at the same time, being a woman, she didn't want to do injustice to Swats.

The four gods are Agni, Vayu, Indra and Varuna. Saraswathi introduced the first guy, I mean, the first Lord, Lord Agni "This guy is Rahul....Rahul Number 1...He is from the City of Gods i.e Kerala and a doctor by profession. When he keeps his stethoscope on young girls heart, their heart beats stop... And yes, he loves idlis....."
Saraswathi was stressing on the word idli and Swats immediately ordered idlis. The white idlis when it went into mouth of the fire god, it automatically became Black.
Swats said, "Are you eating idlis or black coal?" And she said without thinking she was talking to a God, "You are fired..."

Next Rahul was the cool Lord Varun, the lord of rains. "This is Rahul... Rahul number 2... doesn't he look really cool?"
Swats listened carefully and read between the lines and guessed that this guy was also a impostor and said, "You look cool with a pretty face.But you could be fool with a dirty mind.How to know your mind is beautiful?... my psychiatrist friend once said that a person with a good mind would have really nice handwriting. Would you write a prem-pathr addressed to me?"
The rain-god didn't foresee the trick and fell for it. Swats ordered paper and pen and as soon Lord Varun touched the paper,it became wet.
Swats smiled, "I knew kids who wetted their pants with fear...I muss say dude you sweat buckets...."

Now Goddess Saraswathi came to the third Rahul.. Lord Vayu... The Air god., "Here is Rahul... Rahul number three.... is he your rahul? The one whose name you want to write in every breath of yours.... "
Swats guessed it and without shyness declared, "Gosh! I am sure you are mine and I want to feel you in my arms before I garland you."
Lord Vayu was not prepared for this when Swats suddenly embraced her in front of everyone and.... did she feel anything???. She felt nothing...only emptiness because air has no substance, "Wow! You are so light weight....Damn! You just got dissolved in ma arms.Don't you think you are a bit too romantic? I need someone realistic......."

Next in line was Lord Indra, God of the heavens. Goddess Saraswathi herself didn't like Indra. Indra was known for roving eyes and earlier had been known for trapping wives of rishis when they were not at home,"This guy is Rahul... Rahul number four... He may have seen many girls, but once his eyes fell on you, he has not seen any other girls.. Bring any apsara before him and he will not be tempted..."
Swats got the message, "You mean he has his indriyas under his control. So all the apsaras of the heaven like Rambha, Menaka and Thilothamma won't have any effect on him.." she deliberately missed one apsara.
So Indra spoke out without even thinking, "You missed my favorite one... Urvashi..."
Swats gracefully told him, "O Lord! You might get many other. But I need a one woman man"
All the gods made their exit after praising Swats for her intelligence and giving her their blessings...
Swats then looked at the real Rahul and said...."I always knew you are the one. From the time I saw this shyness of yours I fell for u. People could copy your looks but not your innocence..."
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Suddenly the prayer bells rang and everyone was called for pooja and Swats had only one wish, "Oh God! Make this story come true in the future...at least some parts..."

(Adapted from Damayanthi Swayamvar appearing in the Mahabharatha)