No One for the Evening Walk!

"Oh My God!" came the shriek from Preetham's house. It was Seema's voice. Her Mother in law came running towards her room. When she enquired as to what happened, Seema replied with concern, "Look at your son's belly! Fat has started accumulating." But dear husband Preetham tried to ignore it, "Come on... You know what they say in the west... It is just a sign of prosperity." Seema became more vociferous, "Prosperity! My Foot! It is a sign of laziness" and she tapped gently on the stomach. Her child Prerana followed her mother's example and in few minutes the baby was practising tabla.

Seema also had the solution "This problem needs to be nipped in the bud.You spend too much time lazing in front ot the computer." and then she issued directions, " Now that there is less work at office, You can come down early and we will go for a evening walk from 5.30 to 6.30" Preetham's mother immediately objected, "Not that time! Its the time when most of the ladies venture out of their dens and start using their strongest weapon... the tongue... Buri Nazar pad sakthi hain...on my dear son... I will not allow it..."
Preetham smiled which irritated Seema more and she said, "Well! Dear MIL, I have a idea to protect your son from bad and roving eyes.We will dress him in a burkha covered from top to bottom with openings only near the eyes... Howzthat!!!"

Seeing her MIL's eyes becoming red with anger, Seema immediately went for a time change, "I hope you wouldn't object for the evening timing of 6.30 to 7.30" This time, instead of the mother, the son himself objected to it, "Its the twilight time... Its the time for the mind to focus on God....It would not be right for me to go for walk during that time..."Seema was getting crazy hearing all kinds of excuses, "Hmm... If you so can't live without your God, you should have married him." Mother in law gave a shocked look and Seema thought that her MIL was shouting 'Sacrilege' in her mind but MIL politely advised,"How about visiting that Ganesh temple? It will serve twin purposes - Walking as well as Darshan of the almighty" Seema congragulated her Mother in law,"You are great! If we go to the temple, Your Son will not come out of the temple without having that delicious prasadam (appam) dipped in shuddh ghee"

Seeing her DIL put her head down, Mother in law gave another suggestion and tried to finish off the discussion, "I think no one would object for 7.30 to 8.30." Seema was silent from which it was clear that she didn't consent to the time.Preetham himself talked for her, "If ladies went for walk during that time, television networks all around India would lose a big chunk of advertising revenue.For the sake of Indian's economy, It is better ladies stayed inside their homes during that time "

Seema smiled, "Then we are left with no option except go for a walk after the dinner... i.e 9.30 to 10.30"
Preetham agreed, "And that would be a romantic one too... With no one on the streets and with moon light following us and stars spread across the sky.... It reminds me of Raj Kumar and Nargis walking down the lane and singing Pyar hua iqraar hua"
Seema' s mother in law interrupted the romantic moment, "Hello! You both are forgetting that there is another member in your small family... Prerana, your baby... who will put her to sleep"
Prerana decided to speak for herself and slowly she crawled towards her grandma
Seeing this, Seema mischievously commented supporting her daughter's move, "Why else then do we have old ladies at home for?"

Some Serious Discussion on Love

Lots of noise made Preetham's mother come out of the pooja room. As she looked towards the bed room, she found Preetham and Seema trying to console their weeping baby girl Prerana. And then she turned her eyes towards the living room to find Riya, her thirteen year old neighbor enjoying a harry potter movie on the idiot box with Deepak, fourteen year old nephew of Preetham. The old lady switched off the telly much to the disappointment of the kids and shooed them off to the garden. She also joined them and advised, "Don't waste your evening in the front of the idiot box. Do some thing creative or talk something productive"

Deepak looked around and saw a young man standing near a gate and watch a girl come down that lane and exclaimed, "Isn't that surprising. There are more than billion people in this world and only one is meant special for you. What is that about this thing called love and what's going through that young man's mind?"
Riya gave a smile and remembered something which she had heard or read, "Every boy wishes his love to be like a volleyball. When he says MINE, he wants everyone to back off, and the girl like the ball in the game should be... his.. That's the feeling that boy over there is going through" Granny was very angry at Deepak for corrupting the young girl with such questions, "You could have observed those kittens playing with their mummy or that young kid trying to learn the bicycle. But you choose to study that cupid struck guy?m You worth-for-nothing!"

Deepak was not listening as he had more questions, "But is this love? Waiting for someone get down from the bus and watch them keep those gentle steps towards their home?" Riya was enjoying sharing her knowledge, "It may not be. It may be just lust. Lust and love are not the one and the same. Lust may be the beginning of the love. But it may last for Eternity. May be that's the reason Love begins with L and ends with E." The old lady was surprised on hearing such great thoughts from such small brain, "The convent school you go to has a head master who is a priest and most of the teachers are sisters. Where did you learn all these, young girl?"

Riya just gave another of her sweet smile instead of answering the question. There was another surprise waiting for the old lady. Suddenly, out of the blue, Deepak announced, "I think I am falling in Love with you, Riya?" But Riya took it lightly as she gently questioned, "And may i know as to what is that in me that you love?" Deepak answered confidently, "You are so cute..." Riya thrashed it, "That's just attraction, not love..." Deepak continued "and you are intelligent..." Riya negated that one too, "That's just admiration and will not last long..." But Deepak didn't stop, "When you walk alone on the street, I want to give you a lift on my bicycle.." Riya was ready with the answer, "That's just compassion and nothing else.." Deepak laughed, "And why don't I have that compassion for this old lady here?"

That angered Preetham's mother and she ran inside the house probably to get something to smack the young boy. While she was gone, Riya explained in simple words, "Love has no reasons whatsoever...It just happens" As Deepak was pondering on the lines, Granny came with a big cane and seeing that Deepak started running away. The Old Lady was successful in driving the young boy. But she saw Riya looking furiously at her which prompted her to ask, "What's wrong with You? Why are you looking at me like that?" Riya answered a bit harshly, "You drove away my prospective husband!!!!

Boys say NO too!

Preetham was early to home that friday evening. It was not unusual of him. But instead of finding his wife Seema welcoming him, he found a young lady waiting for his wife Seema and watching the movie Wake Up Sid. The scene being played was the one where Ayesha rejects Sid's proposal in a cool manner, "I think this will hurt you... But You are immature and childish..You are just a kid... You are the wrong profile for me..."
Preetham tried to start the conversation taking this topic, "The girls can so easily be cruel when it comes to rejecting a boy's proposal... " The lady turned towards Preetham and answered sternly without even introducing herself, "Its not only the fairer sex that rejects. You Guys do that too and that hurts too..."
Preetham was not willing to agree easily, "Its only ladies who reject proposals without any emotions. Men have a sensitive mind that very well understands a woman's heart"

That really pissed off the lady, but she maintained her composure,"I need to put my own life story to make you understand. But I do feel You are just arguing for the sake of argument..." But the lady started her story, "In DDLJ, Simran met her first love in a train. But I was not that lucky. My first love happened in a public transport system and that too a jam packed bus. He used to commute in the same bus and I used to hold the books for him. He gave me a look that told me he desired me. But some days later, he stopped handing me the books for custody and he didn't cross the foot board too. I made up my mind and declared my love..." And then the lady sarcastically remarked, "the guy with the sensitive mind rejected giving a sensible reason, 'You are my best friend's sister. I don't want to hurt my friend'" Preetham found a positive note, "I think you are lucky... He seemed a gay who liked your brother more than you."

That brought a smile on the lady's face as she told her further rejected proposals, "Then I went for graduation. Till then, I thought cell phone was meant for communication. Then I learn t that in the hands of youngsters, its real use is giving missed calls, messaging sweet nothings and playing pranks. I too played mischief with this good looking, studious guy. And without myself knowing, I fell in love once again. Strange was the guy as he told me that he needed a day's time to think about it. I never even in my dreams thought that he would send his mother to me. She brought the religion issue and begged me to forget her son. I replied her 'Like a kangaroo, carry your son everywhere in the pouch'. Some guys, no matter how old they are, they always remain mamma's boys" Preetham remembered how his wife teased him using that word.

Not waiting for Preetham to react, the lady continued "But this heart never gives up. A hope is always there. And When I meet this guy online, he gave me the feeling two hearts can be one, even if lips don't lock themselves together or there is no holding of hands together. That's when I came to know that mind is a more erotic organ. I proposed to him, 'I don't want to be friends.. I have already been in love.. So, Marry Me' But he ridiculed about it and I decided to make him feel my absence for some days. But that ego proved costly as he tried to do something stupid like taking his own life in my absence. Later he realized that relationships are just illusions and life is not just about love. He has not forgotten me, But he doesn't want to be further attached to me. A good boy was snatched from me...."

Preetham had lots of questions to ask on this one, but he tried to console her, "When GOD takes away somethng from ur hand, dont think he is punishing u..he is merely emptying ur hand for u to receive something better!!" But the girl was getting emotional and his wife made her entry and questioned her husband seeing the girl's eyes wet, "What have you done to my good friend?" The lady excused herself, "Nothing. I was revisiting the memory lane and it brought tears." Seema immediately introduced her friend to her husband, "By the way, She is Simran, she writes for the local magazine...." Simran remembered the purpose of her visit, "I was doing a article on Platonic relationship with men and I came to talk on this one..." and she continued, "I have come to the conclusion, Its kind of difficult to have a platonic relationship with men. All of them would have some kind of interest in the woman they befriend..." and after a pause she continued, "Even Happily married men too. What do you say?"

We will not let you go!

Manya is asked by her senior Preetham to do a exit interview of Surendar. Manya is thrilled to do this pleasing task of asking a employee as to why he wants to become a ex employee. But her senior Preetham had given the task with the condition that she should involve some senior member. Manya did the unexpected and took the aged security guard with her. Preetham had failed to give the parameters that defined senior member.

Manya didn't take much time to come to the question, "Why do you want to leave this esteemed organization?" Surendar with a glee on his face replied, "I am planning to get married!" The security guard checked the application papers of Surendar and then answered the inquiring question of Manya, "I was just checking the gender. Usually girls come up with this answer na" Surendar with a blunt face retorted, "I am leaving because I want to be with my Girlfriend and she is in a far-off metro"

Manya like a HR executive tried to understand him, "But why do you want to leave your hometown?" Surendar replied in a filmy style, "When people in love are willing to leave this world for their dear ones, Why can't I leave my hometown?" and he also added, "This place doesn't provide opportunities for her to come up in her career" Manya couldn't digest the answer, "Mixing career with romance is like..." As she was searching for the words, the old security guard said, "Like water with whiskey"
But Surendar had his heart set on shifting the base, "But my boss wouldn't sit besides me when I am sick...I cannot take my finance head with me to the movies or the temple on the weekends... Its the family that comes first na." The security guard was laughing, "You are becoming too emotional! No one should take decisions by becoming emotional."

Surendar wanted to show some logical reasons, "She can't adjust to this hot weather and the beat of this small town." Manya answered that one quickly, "With global warming reaching every nook and corner of the world, no metro would be spared. And then coming to the beat... I think she would be more concerned with the beat of your heart rather than the beat of the town." The old man also commented, "Her town may keep her cool. But the real cool is in the mind. If you want to get your body cooled off, there are so many ways - Get an AC, Switch on the fans, Open the doors of refreigerator or still better ' ja kar nalli ke neeche beth ja'!!!"

But that hurt Surendar. Seeing it, the old man got serious and quoted, "A girl who cares for her guy like a child and a guy who respects the girl like his mom are the only kind of people whose love will be the purest and most sincere one." Manya smiled at that one and added her thoughts, "And it is difficult for a child to adjust to a new location... So the mom should come down here na"
That confused Surendar and he looked up to the two to help him out. So Manya did the unexpected. She opened the laptop and logged on the net. Surendar thought she was googling for the solution. But then she finished her online task and declared, "There! We should take the help of our colleagues not only in coding and decoding our programs, but also in decoding life's problems.I have mailed your predicament to all the company employees. They will help you out" That sentence made Surendar put both his hands on his head, "You made my love story public,you silly girl!!!" That's when Preetham entered and asked Surendar, "So any change in your decision" Surendar surprised everyone with the answer, "Yeah.. I thought of quitting after a month. Now I have decided to quit in a week"

Why... I Love My Husband

Preetham and Seema along with their four month old baby Prerana were on their way to a function in a small village. En route, a villager stopped them and asked them to take an alternate route, "There is a Chudail (a she-giant) some distance ahead on this road who feeds on good husbands" Preetham gets jitters but Seema gives him courage and speaks like Superstar SRK, "Main Hoon Na! You Just control the wheels"

But they run directly into her. The Chudail had set up a road block ahead. The Chudail was more than fifteen feet tall and looked more like a female version of Shrek. As Seema watched, the Chudail who went by the name Sundari just picked up Preetham by his collar like we humans pick up the cockroaches by their mustaches. Prerana looked with awe at the Chudail and then questioningly at her mother as if asking her, "Whatever happened to 'Main Hoon Na'" Seema reminds herself of all those sati-savithri movies where the wives plead and beg for their husband's lives and gets into the act.

The Chudail melted a little and said, "I will put him down if you say me what is that you like in him the most" Seema didn't know how to answer it. She was reminded of her mothers advice, 'Never ever praise husbands. It goes into their heads'. She thought she would bluff and walk away with it, "What else! His Good Looks! Even If I see a Hrithik Roshan movie, I see my husband in Hrithik Roshan"
The Chudail couldn't digest the answer, "This face here can't even launch a toilet paper! And you are comparing Hrithik Roshan with him!"
Seema got furious, "Mind Your Tongue! Lady... "

The Chudail reminded her, "I am controlling my tongue. Otherwise it would have tasted your husband by now... Don't waste my time... Answer quickly... "
Seema this time tried to be a bit realistic but not honest," His intelligence... He is in a good job.. He fulfills all my wishes and keeps me happy..."
The Chudail smiled, "This is economic basics. Because of women like you, the economics is working. Otherwise What do men need! They will wear the same four shirts and pants and one set of shoes the whole year around. I mean.. your husband is doing what all others do... This is a common trait.... Stop playing around!"

Prerana tugged at her mother and Seema felt her daughter was shouting at her, "Get my father! Get him Now! Say the truth!" She looked at her daughter and then at her husband, dangling between the two fingers of the chudail a well fifteen feet above the ground. From where she stood, to her, it looked like her husband was preparing for a bungee-jump. She came out with the truth, "Its his caring nature. I love it when he kisses me good bye as he leaves for work in the morning. I love it when he calls from the office to check whether I had my lunch on time. I love it when he expresses his fears to me and doesn't allow his male masochistic ego come in the way. I love every little thing he does. He never makes me feel that we both are two different souls."

On hearing this, there's a transformation in the chudail and within minutes she has became a nubile young beauty and she explains that how she was cursed in her previous life for not understanding her good husband. Now she was liberated from the curse as she understood the traits in her husband of previous life. Saying so she started walking from the scene. Preetham got into the car and before starting the vehicle, checked the young beauty from his rear view mirror. Seema caught him in the act and warned, "If you do that again!... I will myself feed you to some other giant"

The Awakening Philosophy

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day
But good husband Preetham didn’t believe in these words of truth.So that Morning, The good husband was not behaving like one and was trying to wake his wife from her good sleep. She was irritated and just cried for help. And that’s when the phone rang. Preetham was surprised because his wife had just cried for help and not dialed any helpline number. It was the young friend of Seema who had saved her from her huband and his preachings in the past (Read The Mobile Philosophy and The Orkut Philosophy). Seema put the call on the speaker mode and expressed her relief, “Like Krishna who came to Draupadi’s help when she was dragged from her antha pura by Dushashana, You have come to my help.” The young man heard Seema’s plight of how her husband wanted her to be disciplined and how he was beginning with the first exercise of waking up early.

Young man decided to speak it out with Preetham himself, “Sir, Have you heard about the Sleep Philosophy….” Preetham laughed, “Seems it’s the only philosophy that lazy people like you learn very fast. Waiting to hear it….” The young man ignored the offence, “The sleep like any process has stages… to be precise three stages... and that too both way... One is when you go to sleep and another when you wake up. When you go to sleep, in the first stage, you will feel the body disappearing that is you will forget that you have a body…but during this stage, the mind continues to exist giving you thoughts like ‘what I should message my girlfriend next morning’. After some juggling even the mind vanishes….”
That’s when the Boy’s mother made her entry, “Even if the mind is clear, you will pollute it…” The boy looked for an explanation. Mother gave one, “Like you did to the newly wedded girl in the neighbour by asking her, ‘What’s the last thing you take off before going to sleep?’ And how do you expect her to answer” The young man innocently replied, “Of course, a simple answer like ‘my feet off the ground’. What do you expect her to answer?” Now this embarrased the mother and she preferred to hear his sleep philosophy.

He continued. “After the mind too vanishes, tell me what is left?” Preetham didn’t had a answer though he was very religious. With a radiant smile, the young man said, “The Soul. And the soul would be in a chat session with the almighty…” Just then a *ping* came from the young man’s lappie and mother announced, “It seems your almighty or god has come to the chat session... ", after checking she exclaimed, "Oops! It's a goddess! Doesn’t your girl friend have exams?” The young man quickly corrected her, “Mom! She wants to chat with me and relieve herself from exam related stress… And she is just a good friend and not a girl friend.Please!!!! Let me concentrate on the talk”

The young man focused on the third stage of sleep, “This stage is the real seat when the soul gets its nourishment. It gets enlightened. The soul free of its ego becomes one with the Supreme... But then the traffic for this chat session is so huge the Almighty cannot afford much time for each soul. That’s when he sends back or gets them ready for wake up…” Seema was left expressionless on hearing this beautiful description for the state of sleep, “And I thought sleep was just roaming around the spaces of the mind without doing much and it is just like the way we spent time testing various items in the shopping mall and end up purchasing nothing…”

The young boy said, “As we return to the stage when mind is alive, we are in the state of dreaming. That’s when the soul communicates with the ego and because of our ego, we see some strange symbols and apparitions which we can’t make any sense. These are actually messages for our improvement…” The mother had to intervene, “If we see only strange things and apparitions, why do you take the name of that girl from the college, ‘Paaro’ in the dreams? Is God telling you, “Jao… Bachche.. use patao”

The boy ignored his mother and focused on his philosophy , “And then…the body awakens… and with great difficulty you lift it out of the bed… But now question is… Do you want to wake up someone from the deep sleep? Wouldn’t that mean that you are interrupting the interactive chat session that person is having with the almighty? Would you like to be the cause of disruption for such a meeting and earn the wrath of God?” These questions made Preetham ponder and seeing the opportunity, Seema jumped in, “Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiii… Being a very devoted wife, I can’t see my husband committing such a sin… No chance at all….” Saying so she gently pushed him out of the room and slammed the door and went back to sleep after thanking the young man for saving her once again

Forgetting Something

Preetham seemed to be disturbed and was so not able to focus on work properly. Manya was able to read it and questioned her boss as to what was bugging him. Like a amnesiac patient, Preetham replied, "There is a anniversary that I need to celebrate this day. But I am not able to remember as to what or whose anniversary it is? Whatsoever pressure I apply to the mind, its not helping me remember"

The big boss, the CEO of the company who heard the conversation as he was passing by, stopped to give a quick advise to Preetham, "Check your facebook or orkut account na. It will remind you if it is any of your friend's birthday anniversary." Preetham obeyed his boss's commands with pleasure, "Such a nice boss! He himself is encouraging the use of orkut and facebook at workplace. Har Kissiko nahi miltha aisi BOSS zindagi mein." Manya was not impressed that Preetham was using the networking sites for such purpose, "What a age! We need to be reminded about our friends birthdays.. We can't remember their birthdays... So bad!*" But Preetham was not listening as he announced the result of orkuting, "Nothing! None of my friends seems to be born in this month at all."

Evening set in and it was the time for the working class to return to their nests. But even the light breeze and the soothing music coming from the car stereo failed to make his mind remember how the day was special. Unknowingly, Preetham had stepped on the gas and this caught the attention of the aged traffic cop. He stopped Preetham's vehicle and started writing the ticket for speeding. Manya tried to convince the cop not to fine them and she narrated her boss's plight.
The cop gave a mischievous smile, "I hope its not your wedding anniversary?" Preetham found it difficult to remember his wedding anniversary, but he heard himself answering, "Still months to go..." Manya was a bit disappointed, "I don't know why boys forget the marriage anniversary... What should girls do, so that boys can remember the marriage anniversary?"
The cop replied with a glee, "They should do like my wife did!... She married me on my birthday... Now my happiest day and saddest day fall on the same date" These kind of replies annoys Manya and ignoring the cop, she asked her boss to vacate the place.

As they neared home, Preetham spotted a girl from his neighborhood sitting all to herself at the bus stop and looking a bit sad. He couldn't stop himself from inquiring her state of mind. She tried to fake a smile, "Two years ago, this is where my first love broke up with me. Today is the second anniversary! And I am celebrating it all ALONE.." Preetham didn't get it, "What's there to celebrate?" The girl soberly replied, "Nakamiyabi! Badi hi ajeeb tareke se nakamiyab hue hum duno. Woh Hame Chah na saake aur hum unhe bhula na pae..**. So here I am... still unable to forget."
Immediately Manya said, "Sir! Is it something sad that is also bugging you. Something sad that you want to forget but it is still lingering somewhere in the memory...." Preetham shook his head, "The writer above has not written any sad part in my life till now!" Preetham asked the young girl whether she cared for a lift. The girl refused the lift saying she wanted to wait till the sun set.

A well-groomed husband that he was, Preetham was on time at home. But even his dear wife Seema couldn't remember why the day was so special and she answered that made her husband happy, "Looks like the Almighty wants us to celebrate the day. So why don't we just dine out!!!" Preetham never says NO to his dear wife. On the way, Seema just thanked her stars, "Thanks a lot, God! My Mother-in-law has gone for that temple festival and I was feeling very lazy to cook. Whatever or whoever that has gone into my husband's head, I am thankful for that!"

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AUTHORS NOTE: It was me, the author of the blog who got into Preetham's head. April 13th is my blog's second anniversary and so I wanted my characters to celebrate. But I was not successful in conveying this message to my lead character :( No Regrets! as they are celebrating anyway :)

Thank you one and all. Keep me encouraging.


* Quote of a good friend
** Anonymous.