Mock Interview

Prads was a bit off mood. It seemed someone was forcing him to do something. Swats wanted to know what was eating his head.Prads said his parents were forcing him for a ladki dekho program and he hated it as it made him uncomfortable. Swats tried to give some comfort, "Well... Buss itni si baat... lets have a mock ladki dekho program here now... in this classroom..." Prads, "And who would be the girl...? "

Before Swats could open her mouth, her class mate who had hots for Prads and named Jeevitha a.k.a Jeevs volunteered, "Main Hoon Na!" The stage was set.... and Prads entered the room like a boy who has come to see a girl. Jeeves started quite romantically, "I was waiting for the first sixteen years of my life for some Prince Charming to steal my heart. The next three years, I kept guessing who it could be... Now I can't bear anymore... Please take me from here." Like a director, Swats announced, "You are supposed to make the atmosphere uncomfortable so that Prads is prepared to handle a worst case scenario..." Jeevs hated it but still said bitterly but without putting herself completely into the act and started with a quote from her favorite TV character Ally McBeal, "There is no sin in loving men... only pain. I hate boys... since my childhood... Whenever I see boys, I feel like pricking them and killing them with my kitchen knife"
Prads commented with a smile, "Hmm.. Why take such pain. If you smile just once, We boys would die immediately..." Swats was suprized by this statement of Prads and wondered whether he was trying to impress Jeevs.

Jeevitha turning towards Swats, "Mummy! Mujhe yeh ladka bahuth pasand hain...Abhi shaadi karva dona... Please!!!"(I like this guy very much. Get me married immediately na.) Swats got strict, "Stick to the act. Prads! Tell her about your passion and ambitions." Prads like a statesman, "I like watching movies. All languages, Hindi, English, Kannada, Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, Korean, French, Bengali...." Jeevs exclaimed with a surprise, "Wow! You know too many languages... Do you understand the language of my heart also?" Swats coughed loudly, but Jeevs was fully focused on Prads. Prads answered her looking directly into her eyes, "I don't know all the languages. I watch the movies with subtitles...But to interpret what your eyes are telling, I definitely don't need subtitles..."

Jeevs was really swept off her feet, but keeping Swats in mind, she furthered another negative view in front of him, "But I hate movies. I feel sleepy while watching them..." Prads was quick to reply, "Well! Elders had truly said, 'Opposites attract'. And what use is my huge shoulders? When I see a movie, You can sleep with your head rested against my shoulders." Jeeves wanted immediately to do so, but she forwarded one more argument, "But I don't watch Television also. I feel its better reading a novel than watching television. Watching television is like spraying black paint on the eyes..." Prads smiled, "Even I don't watch Television..." Jeevs smiled and reminded him, "Then your earlier statement doesn't hold good, 'Opposites attract'... remember..."

Prads didn't so easily give up any argument, "Common things and little differences.. both are important for a relationship.If It's the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, then it's the little differences that make them interesting. Who wants the company of the television, when I have you? Instead of wasting our evening watching those mushy serials and planned reality shows, we can go for a romantic walk..." Jeevs was now really fully in love. She looked at Prads once and then at swats and said "Mujhse aur acting nahi hotha!" (I cant act any more!) and running towards Prads, she landed a kiss on his cheek.

Prads got brains

Prads had three hectic days of work at office and it was culminating the next day with a presentation and he explained the stressful situation to his young friend Swats, "Gosh! My Brain has completely worn out... I need to get a new one for tomorrow's presentation..." Swats like Dhaan-veer Karn offered her brain even without being asked for, "You can take mine.. Anyway it will not be used tomorrow morning... That's for sure." Prads laughed at her offer and was also curious, "And why would your brain remain complete idle tomorrow morning? Are you bunking classes and watching latest bollywood Flick?" Swats shook her head and answered, "Tomorrow we have exams and I always keep my brain in the refrigerator before I leave for the exams. Otherwise I would get too much doubts regarding the answers"

Prads just casually remarked, "Yeah! If it was possible, I would have definitely tried your small brain." But somewhere up in the heavens above, Goddess Lakshmi took it seriously and came down to fulfill her child Prads' wishes and immediately flung into action, "So...Be it!!... ", she announced. Prads tried to interrupt the process, "Wait, Goddess! But, would her small brain fit into this big head...wouldn't it malfunction? " Goddess Laxmi smiled , "Size hardly matters here. Girls brain works more continuously than a men's, even when one sleeps.... "
Prads exclaimed with a shock, "Gosh! Then my head may get heated up. Is there some kind of internal fan like in the computer system to keep the cool ...." Goddess got confused and then came up with a small bottle in her right hand. Prads got it wrong, "I am a teetotaler. Even under the harshest of the conditions, I don't touch...." Laxmi shouted, "This is not some cheap alcohol... Its navarathan thel... thanda thanda cool cool..." For a moment, Prads thought that lady in front of him was not Goddess Laxmi, but someone who has jumped out of a TV commercial.

But he threw his disbelief to the side, "Is there any cons I need to know, before I use a GIRL's brain..." Goddess Laxmi said, "Hmm... Sometimes Girls will do something stupid which the brain nor the logic can explain. So be prepared for such eventuality..." Prads ignored the warning, "Anyway... I hope in a day nothing would happen..." Laxmi smiled, "I can't assure you about it. Even me in my human form Sita who was so dear to her husband Ram, I did something stupid. Remember, in Panchavati I forced him and then dear brother in law to run for miles behind a silly golden dear..." That argument forced him to think against taking the brain of Swats.

Thats when Swats jumped in and requested Lakshmi, "Why don't you show him the positive side also?" Goddess Laxmi put the pros in front of Prads which had him more confused, "Girls make proper decisions after considering all options.. Haven't you seen how they make their choice while shopping?" Prads teased the Goddess herself on this one, "Yeah! They look at all that the shop keeper has to offer and then buy the one they had seen first... Uff... Really quick decision making ability, they have"
That hurt Goddess Laxmi and she prepared to move away from there. Prads quickly fell at her feet and asked for her forgiveness and agreed for the brain transplant, "Anyway... I hope there would be no harm in changing for a day... You can continue the transplant..."

Laxmi laughed, "You know why you were asking so many questions before agreeing for the brain?... " Swats laughed very loudly even before she heard the answer from the Goddess and exclaimed, "Wow! this is very unlike me...Laughing out so loud!" Prads still was not able to comprehend what was going on and just like a silly young girl looked at Goddess Lakshmi as she explained, "You already have the brain of a young girl who questions anything before using it..."

Swats for the president

Swats was sad and her face was down. Prads inquired very gently, "what happened?" She said with tears in eyes, "I want to stand for the College President But some oppose it arguing that I am girl from the himalayas and alien to this coastal culture and so cant stand ..." Prads didn't hear any further, he just took hold of her hand like a typical bollywood hero and went along with her to the college campus and very aggressively demanded an answer from all present, " Kya kammi hain isme? What is she lacking?" One of the girls was immediately attracted by the husky voice. She was already impressed by Prads earlier.

One of her classmates and a local answered equally aggressively, "She is not one of us. She is not from the coast. She doesn't have love for our culture... " Even before he could complete, Prads started answering, "Love! Doesn't she have love for this institution. Isn't that enough? She knows everything about this college and its people... " and suddenly his eyes fell upon a old sweeper and with too much confidence continued, "She even knows that sweeper over there?" Swats immediately interrupted him, "Err... To be honest, I don't know her... " The local laughed out loudly. But his joy was short lived as Swats continued, " I don't know her because she joined today. The earlier was Seethamma and she worked for 14 years and later returned to join with her sons Luv and Kush..." Prads tried to make a further impact, "She may be 18 years old but she has the maturity of a 30 year old.... " The girl in the crowd shouted, "Thats why I say, 'She is too old for you and I am just perfect for you.'"

The local was the not the one to be silenced so easily, "But when we have the majority of the students from the local, why do we need an outsider as our college president?" Prads was very preachy that days and continued, "An outsider? Hasn't she already made a place in your hearts?" To Swats embarrassment, she found majority of the boys nodding their head in agreement and saying in unison, a big YES. Prads tried to improvise it, "Hasn't she made a impact on the minds of her teachers. Can they forget her?" One of the lecturers was too quick to react, "No Way! She has got only 60% attendance for my class..."

The local tried to put forward some stronger arguments, "But can she fulfill our dreams. Would our demands be ever met?" Prads was very dramatic and looked very much out of a Karan Johar movie, "Look at that face..." and immediately Swats put on a innocent face. Prads continued, "Doesn't that face look quite aggressive to take on the college council..." Prads immediately changed the facial expression and quickly tried to put up a aggressive expression by hitting hard on the lower lips with her upper teeth. Immediately a artist in the group took of his tools and started drawing as Prads continued his pep talk, "That White teeth over red lips symbols victory of good over bad... of satvik guna over tamasik guna ..." and looked at the young local who was now feeling very tired.

Moving like a television show host, he picked up the picture from the artists hand and holding it high, "Doesn't the picture tell the story...", It was a picture of swats teeth hitting hard on the lower lips and Prads proudly announced, "And this would be her election symbol..."
The amorous girl popped up a question to Prads, "Doesn't my lips tell you anything... Read them for me, please!!!" Prads slowly moved towards the girl and it looked he was making an advance. He came quite close to her and said, "Yes... your sweet lips is telling something... it wants to cry out loud that..." The girl got quite excited. But it all fell flat as Prads completed his sentence, "VOTE FOR SWATS!" and the whole crowd jeered along with him.

A Lesson from Mahabharatha

Every Saturday, Swats would come to meet Prads and make him commit to the contract by taking her to a new place. But this Saturday, she wasn't there. Prads felt her absence and when he inquired her, she told that she was in college working on some news report and invited him to her college. Within a hour, he was there and found Swats addressing her classmates on the news report she was preparing, "In this modern age, even for a small misunderstanding or a small difference, quarrels erupts between brothers, and murders and suicides happen. Why can't men of our times be like Ram and his brothers or like the five Pandavas..."
Prads interrupted her flow, "There is an incident also in Mahabharatha when Arjun killed his elder brother Yudhistr..."Swats loved stories and that too from Prads mouth and she immediately handed over the stage to Prads

A girl in the audience sitting next to Swats immediately got a crush on Prads and Swats sensed it. Prads started his story "On the 17th day of the war, Yudhistr was humiliatingly defeated by Karna and was forced to retreat to his camp, wounded. His mind was full of anger and hatred. Arjun left the battlefield in the middle and came down to see his elder brother along with Lord Krishna. But Yudhistra was under the wrong impression that Arjun had killed Karna and brought his severed head as a token. Yudhistr was not only disappointed but also angered on hearing that Arjun just came to check upon him leaving Bheem Brother to deal with Karna"
The girl told to Swats, "Ask him to tell some romantic story na instead of this war stories. His soft lips and small eyes and round nose will suit such a story..."
Swats reminded her, "He is narrating a story, not enacting one.. Stop your imagination running wild..."

Prads was immersed in the story himself, " Yudhistr started abusing his younger brother and his valor and also his weapon, the mighty bow, the Gandiva, "Just throw away Gandiva and go away from the battlefield. If you cant kill Karna, I will get it done through Bheem... " Arjun had made a secret vow that if anyone insults his war weapon Gandiva, he would separate their head from the body. So he took his sword and rushed towards Yudhistr..."
The cupid struck girl expressed her feelings in a very soft tone that was audible only to Swats, "Like I feel rushing into your arms, now..."

Prads may have welcomed her had he listened to her sweet words. But he continued with the story, "He raised the sword and prepared to severe Yudhistr's head from his shoulders. Lord Krishna came to the rescue of Yudhistr and stopped the sword in mid-flight. Arjun told Krishna of his vow and that he had no other go except to kill his brother." But clever Lord had a way-out, "There is a better way to kill a elder person than by severing his head. That is with words. Harsh words and choicest of expletives. This way you would have kept your vow..." and then Prads described of how Arjun abused his brother using expletives, "Arjuna demolished Yudhistra's character and also said that for him only Bheemsena is his brother"
The girl commented to Swats. "Really sweet guy, Prads! He doesn't know what expletives are. His vocabulary is very poor. He should get some training from me. Or asked the bank executive who tried to sell some of his financial products to me."

Prads conintued the story, "Arjun after completing his outburst and describing his brother as incapable, drew his sword again, this time to kill himself. Lord Krishna asked for explanation. Arjun with tears in his eyes, 'How can I live after abusing my dear elder brother' Krishna reminded him of how suicide was the greatest sin, 'It is not appropriate to punish this body which is a punya kshethra for doing sadhana.. Body is the greatest instrument you will ever own. There is a better way... Self praise is very much equivalent to suicide ' and asked Arjun to praise himself from the bottom of his heart. Arjun does so and boasted of how is the strongest of all the Pandavas and where they would be without him and how he alone killed many warriors. When his suicide was complete, Yudhistr drew his sword.
The girl smiled and commented to Swats, "This seems like a contagious disease. Its like in Facebook, when one changes the profile pic or status message, others follow suit."

Prads came to the last parts of his story," Yudhistr was completely down after his brother showed him his real worth. Lord Krishna signaled Arjuna and Arjuna fell upon Yudhistr's feet and asked for forgiveness. Thus the situation returned to normalcy."
Then Prads ended by saying "In today's society, we commit this murder and suicide on a daily basis. Berating elders and boasting about our self in front of them has become a habit for today's generation...Do we realize the evils of the two....?"
The girl stood up, "You can teach my children good moral values..." Swats was surprised, "But, You are not married!" The girl smiled, "Neither is he... rite?"