Saturday, April 24, 2010

Why... I Love My Husband

Preetham and Seema along with their four month old baby Prerana were on their way to a function in a small village. En route, a villager stopped them and asked them to take an alternate route, "There is a Chudail (a she-giant) some distance ahead on this road who feeds on good husbands" Preetham gets jitters but Seema gives him courage and speaks like Superstar SRK, "Main Hoon Na! You Just control the wheels"

But they run directly into her. The Chudail had set up a road block ahead. The Chudail was more than fifteen feet tall and looked more like a female version of Shrek. As Seema watched, the Chudail who went by the name Sundari just picked up Preetham by his collar like we humans pick up the cockroaches by their mustaches. Prerana looked with awe at the Chudail and then questioningly at her mother as if asking her, "Whatever happened to 'Main Hoon Na'" Seema reminds herself of all those sati-savithri movies where the wives plead and beg for their husband's lives and gets into the act.

The Chudail melted a little and said, "I will put him down if you say me what is that you like in him the most" Seema didn't know how to answer it. She was reminded of her mothers advice, 'Never ever praise husbands. It goes into their heads'. She thought she would bluff and walk away with it, "What else! His Good Looks! Even If I see a Hrithik Roshan movie, I see my husband in Hrithik Roshan"
The Chudail couldn't digest the answer, "This face here can't even launch a toilet paper! And you are comparing Hrithik Roshan with him!"
Seema got furious, "Mind Your Tongue! Lady... "

The Chudail reminded her, "I am controlling my tongue. Otherwise it would have tasted your husband by now... Don't waste my time... Answer quickly... "
Seema this time tried to be a bit realistic but not honest," His intelligence... He is in a good job.. He fulfills all my wishes and keeps me happy..."
The Chudail smiled, "This is economic basics. Because of women like you, the economics is working. Otherwise What do men need! They will wear the same four shirts and pants and one set of shoes the whole year around. I mean.. your husband is doing what all others do... This is a common trait.... Stop playing around!"

Prerana tugged at her mother and Seema felt her daughter was shouting at her, "Get my father! Get him Now! Say the truth!" She looked at her daughter and then at her husband, dangling between the two fingers of the chudail a well fifteen feet above the ground. From where she stood, to her, it looked like her husband was preparing for a bungee-jump. She came out with the truth, "Its his caring nature. I love it when he kisses me good bye as he leaves for work in the morning. I love it when he calls from the office to check whether I had my lunch on time. I love it when he expresses his fears to me and doesn't allow his male masochistic ego come in the way. I love every little thing he does. He never makes me feel that we both are two different souls."

On hearing this, there's a transformation in the chudail and within minutes she has became a nubile young beauty and she explains that how she was cursed in her previous life for not understanding her good husband. Now she was liberated from the curse as she understood the traits in her husband of previous life. Saying so she started walking from the scene. Preetham got into the car and before starting the vehicle, checked the young beauty from his rear view mirror. Seema caught him in the act and warned, "If you do that again!... I will myself feed you to some other giant"

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Awakening Philosophy

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day
But good husband Preetham didn’t believe in these words of truth.So that Morning, The good husband was not behaving like one and was trying to wake his wife from her good sleep. She was irritated and just cried for help. And that’s when the phone rang. Preetham was surprised because his wife had just cried for help and not dialed any helpline number. It was the young friend of Seema who had saved her from her huband and his preachings in the past (Read The Mobile Philosophy and The Orkut Philosophy). Seema put the call on the speaker mode and expressed her relief, “Like Krishna who came to Draupadi’s help when she was dragged from her antha pura by Dushashana, You have come to my help.” The young man heard Seema’s plight of how her husband wanted her to be disciplined and how he was beginning with the first exercise of waking up early.

Young man decided to speak it out with Preetham himself, “Sir, Have you heard about the Sleep Philosophy….” Preetham laughed, “Seems it’s the only philosophy that lazy people like you learn very fast. Waiting to hear it….” The young man ignored the offence, “The sleep like any process has stages… to be precise three stages... and that too both way... One is when you go to sleep and another when you wake up. When you go to sleep, in the first stage, you will feel the body disappearing that is you will forget that you have a body…but during this stage, the mind continues to exist giving you thoughts like ‘what I should message my girlfriend next morning’. After some juggling even the mind vanishes….”
That’s when the Boy’s mother made her entry, “Even if the mind is clear, you will pollute it…” The boy looked for an explanation. Mother gave one, “Like you did to the newly wedded girl in the neighbour by asking her, ‘What’s the last thing you take off before going to sleep?’ And how do you expect her to answer” The young man innocently replied, “Of course, a simple answer like ‘my feet off the ground’. What do you expect her to answer?” Now this embarrased the mother and she preferred to hear his sleep philosophy.

He continued. “After the mind too vanishes, tell me what is left?” Preetham didn’t had a answer though he was very religious. With a radiant smile, the young man said, “The Soul. And the soul would be in a chat session with the almighty…” Just then a *ping* came from the young man’s lappie and mother announced, “It seems your almighty or god has come to the chat session... ", after checking she exclaimed, "Oops! It's a goddess! Doesn’t your girl friend have exams?” The young man quickly corrected her, “Mom! She wants to chat with me and relieve herself from exam related stress… And she is just a good friend and not a girl friend.Please!!!! Let me concentrate on the talk”

The young man focused on the third stage of sleep, “This stage is the real seat when the soul gets its nourishment. It gets enlightened. The soul free of its ego becomes one with the Supreme... But then the traffic for this chat session is so huge the Almighty cannot afford much time for each soul. That’s when he sends back or gets them ready for wake up…” Seema was left expressionless on hearing this beautiful description for the state of sleep, “And I thought sleep was just roaming around the spaces of the mind without doing much and it is just like the way we spent time testing various items in the shopping mall and end up purchasing nothing…”

The young boy said, “As we return to the stage when mind is alive, we are in the state of dreaming. That’s when the soul communicates with the ego and because of our ego, we see some strange symbols and apparitions which we can’t make any sense. These are actually messages for our improvement…” The mother had to intervene, “If we see only strange things and apparitions, why do you take the name of that girl from the college, ‘Paaro’ in the dreams? Is God telling you, “Jao… Bachche.. use patao

The boy ignored his mother and focused on his philosophy , “And then…the body awakens… and with great difficulty you lift it out of the bed… But now question is… Do you want to wake up someone from the deep sleep? Wouldn’t that mean that you are interrupting the interactive chat session that person is having with the almighty? Would you like to be the cause of disruption for such a meeting and earn the wrath of God?” These questions made Preetham ponder and seeing the opportunity, Seema jumped in, “Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiii… Being a very devoted wife, I can’t see my husband committing such a sin… No chance at all….” Saying so she gently pushed him out of the room and slammed the door and went back to sleep after thanking the young man for saving her once again

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Forgetting Something

Preetham seemed to be disturbed and was so not able to focus on work properly. Manya was able to read it and questioned her boss as to what was bugging him. Like a amnesiac patient, Preetham replied, "There is a anniversary that I need to celebrate this day. But I am not able to remember as to what or whose anniversary it is? Whatsoever pressure I apply to the mind, its not helping me remember"

The big boss, the CEO of the company who heard the conversation as he was passing by, stopped to give a quick advise to Preetham, "Check your facebook or orkut account na. It will remind you if it is any of your friend's birthday anniversary." Preetham obeyed his boss's commands with pleasure, "Such a nice boss! He himself is encouraging the use of orkut and facebook at workplace. Har Kissiko nahi miltha aisi BOSS zindagi mein." Manya was not impressed that Preetham was using the networking sites for such purpose, "What a age! We need to be reminded about our friends birthdays.. We can't remember their birthdays... So bad!*" But Preetham was not listening as he announced the result of orkuting, "Nothing! None of my friends seems to be born in this month at all."

Evening set in and it was the time for the working class to return to their nests. But even the light breeze and the soothing music coming from the car stereo failed to make his mind remember how the day was special. Unknowingly, Preetham had stepped on the gas and this caught the attention of the aged traffic cop. He stopped Preetham's vehicle and started writing the ticket for speeding. Manya tried to convince the cop not to fine them and she narrated her boss's plight.
The cop gave a mischievous smile, "I hope its not your wedding anniversary?" Preetham found it difficult to remember his wedding anniversary, but he heard himself answering, "Still months to go..." Manya was a bit disappointed, "I don't know why boys forget the marriage anniversary... What should girls do, so that boys can remember the marriage anniversary?"
The cop replied with a glee, "They should do like my wife did!... She married me on my birthday... Now my happiest day and saddest day fall on the same date" These kind of replies annoys Manya and ignoring the cop, she asked her boss to vacate the place.

As they neared home, Preetham spotted a girl from his neighborhood sitting all to herself at the bus stop and looking a bit sad. He couldn't stop himself from inquiring her state of mind. She tried to fake a smile, "Two years ago, this is where my first love broke up with me. Today is the second anniversary! And I am celebrating it all ALONE.." Preetham didn't get it, "What's there to celebrate?" The girl soberly replied, "Nakamiyabi! Badi hi ajeeb tareke se nakamiyab hue hum duno. Woh Hame Chah na saake aur hum unhe bhula na pae..**. So here I am... still unable to forget."
Immediately Manya said, "Sir! Is it something sad that is also bugging you. Something sad that you want to forget but it is still lingering somewhere in the memory...." Preetham shook his head, "The writer above has not written any sad part in my life till now!" Preetham asked the young girl whether she cared for a lift. The girl refused the lift saying she wanted to wait till the sun set.

A well-groomed husband that he was, Preetham was on time at home. But even his dear wife Seema couldn't remember why the day was so special and she answered that made her husband happy, "Looks like the Almighty wants us to celebrate the day. So why don't we just dine out!!!" Preetham never says NO to his dear wife. On the way, Seema just thanked her stars, "Thanks a lot, God! My Mother-in-law has gone for that temple festival and I was feeling very lazy to cook. Whatever or whoever that has gone into my husband's head, I am thankful for that!"

AUTHORS NOTE: It was me, the author of the blog who got into Preetham's head. April 13th is my blog's second anniversary and so I wanted my characters to celebrate. But I was not successful in conveying this message to my lead character :( No Regrets! as they are celebrating anyway :)

Thank you one and all. Keep me encouraging.

* Quote of a good friend
** Anonymous.
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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