Sunday, January 22, 2012

Friendship Forever 1 - Lets End It!

When students gather together, they talk about everything under the sun except the studies. Then who does really talk about the courses?? Do the lecturers talk about them when they gather together ? Naa...They are also humans (some readers may doubt it) and talk like average minds do. And so did the Tall handsome lecturer from Swats class as he started the interesting conversation about Swats and Jeevs. The lecturers had gather for a seminar on 'How to make students concentrate on Studies'. The distracted tall lecturer spoke with excitement, "Gosh! Those two girls can pick up a fight over anything... and this time they did over a blog... And then they started throwing everything into the fight. Like the Pandavas dragged the poor Draupadi into the game of dice and had her nearly disrobed, so did these girls... I mean they dragged their elderly friend Prads and questioned him as to among them who was his best friend and he can say only one name... Think about his predicament."

A young lady who seemed more like a student than a lecturer seemed to be following the story more closely than the curriculum she was given, "Swats defense was that she knew Prads earlier and she was always with him when he needed her most. When a blind love for a girl which was unrequited made Prads miserable, it has her friendship that held out the umbrella. Jeevs though agreeing added that it was she who made him come back to the real self with her antics and shenanigans. Jeevs also uttered some golden lines in her support, 'Its not the amount of time you spent that's important. Its only 'how many heartbeats you are away' that matters...."

A senior teacher and the one who believed that its always the male who suffers remarked with a tinge of sadness, "Poor Prads! I can understand what his delicate brain may be going through. Now what's he gonna do....?"
A Peon entered the room to serve the lectures with tea and biscuits.To the delight of the gathered, he also served them with the latest news, "Prads had been to this top lawyer and explained his misery with words not matching his thoughts, 'I am torn between these two...err.... they r fighting over me...err... as to who should have me... You need to guide me' the lawyer completely misunderstood him, "Well... You mean your parents are separated and they are fighting for getting the legal custody of you!!! But you look like a major to me...' Prads made himself clear, "No! Its like in the movies... When two gangster friends separate and they try to gain control of the turf... Here the people involved are worse than gangsters... They are two teenage girls and my dear friends... and I am the turf... Can you help me ??? " The lawyer refused saying, "I am not a criminal lawyer."

The old lady with the spectacles though looked boring updated the gathering of what she knew about the story, "He then visited the Swamiji in our area...Swamiji offered him solutions for all kinds of problems - marital problems, female problems etc... And Prads explained his problem, 'Swamiji...Why is God doing this to me.. He has made my two good female friends fight among themselves over me... It makes me feel bad.... Because of me, these two girls are hurting each other... What should I be doing?... Margdarshan Kijiye guruji..." Swamiji boasted of himself, "Its not a new problem.. Vajpayee also had similar problems during his Political run... Jaya and Mamatha wanted him to listen to their demands.. But he listened to me and didn't his problems got solved?" Prads wasn't sure of how to answer it but listened intently to swamiji's instructions, "Take this powder... Mix it in their milk and give it to them and see their reactions..." Prads knew this was totally wrong, "I don't want some vasheekaran ideas, you old man... Give it to those silly politicians. Besides, these are not some milk drinking young girls... They belong to the Twilight era... They bay for the blood... "

When the gathering was discussing, the principal had entered and he broke the conversation in a terse voice, "Did he find any solution?" The peon answered, "It seems so! Depressed with the suggestions of swamiji and lawyer, he was returning home when he met with the drunkard. The drunkard though had lost his senses to the booze listened to the problem and answered, "Teri to waat lag gayi! You disappear from this world! That's the only solution" and then fell down crooning Delhi belly's song, "Bhaag Bhaag DK Bose"
The principal looked at the peon a bit puzzled. The peon said, "See the noticeboard and You will understand!"

To the surprise of the students, they found a flock of lecturers running towards the notice board. On the notice board was the letter from Prads addreesed to Swats and Jeevs,"Swats and Jevs..... I am disappearing from this world of yours...Anyway I have lots of earned leave to my credit. I would return only when both of you have reconciled... Don't try to find me... Try to find a way to end to your silly quarrels.. One of you need to say sorry to the other. Remember sorry doesn't mean asking for forgiveness. Its another way of saying, 'Can we save this without breaking up'. Your coming together is the only thing that's gonna make me come back in your lives... Till then... wish me happy holidays."

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Love, Breakups and Zindagi

Swats was not making any sense of her state of being. She was hearing voices. She couldn't make out whether she was in a railway station or whether the voice was coming from a radio. In a way, she felt as if she was separated from this real world and she heard the voice say "When two People in Love Break up,They can't be Friends as they have Hurt Each other, They can't be Enemies as once they Loved Each other, ♥ The Only thing they can be, Are the Most Familiar Strangers..."
And then as it happens on DoorDarshan, First the audio, then the video... she saw the settings... It was a wedding... the bride and the groom were at the altar... She tried to see if she was there... "This couldn't be a dream... I am not asleep. If I was I would have been in the dream..."

Rather she saw her elderly friend Prads and her batchmate Jeevs. But they were quite distance apart.... He was at the Umpire's position and she was at the side empire's position...They had been assigned tasks... And Swats saw it written on a white sheet of paper. Swats felt the paper with both her hands as well as with her tongue.It was real and it read ,'There was a pair Sukrutha and Somesha who had separated recently. Jeevs is to approach Sukrutha and Prads is to approach Somesha and then instigate them to say something of their ex partners - to see how much they still have held on of their ex partners.' Swats got confused, "Who wrote this?" and she heard someone say "shhhhhhhhh. SILENCE!!!". She obeyed with fear and observed her friends play their parts

Jeevs tried to pick up a chat with Sukrutha. But before she could speak a word, Sukrutha who wore a becoming red saree remarked to Jeevs, "Look at the gentleman in black across the table... he is hitting at you..." Jeevs knew that a girl would be hit back more when her choice is insulted than herself, "Naa!!! He is not my type of guy.Look at his eyes!!!It looks like dracula has half eaten it. Look at his nose! Reminds me of those steep road curves we get when we cross the western ghat sections." That was enough to make Sukrutha frenzy
Thats when Prads came behind Somesha and casually started the converstion "Seems that the two ladies are having an argument over you... And to me, it looks Woman in red has the upper hand... You are a truly lucky guy!!!...Isn't she hot?"
Somesha remarked, "When a girl selects you, it doesn't mean you are lucky.It only means trials and tribulations has started... And I don't want to go for a re-trial with her....Yups! She is hot and I have burned my fingers already."
Prads gave a surprised look, "You Know her....Re-trial? You mean a girl with such a angel face broke your heart... I find it hard to believe?"

Jeevs on the other hand found Sukrutha praising the boy rather, "Why do you look at the external features? If you don't like his nose, get a synthetic one... Look at his heart...Look at his thinking..." Jeevs interrupted, "Looks like you are in a mood to dedicating a song to him... woh tho hain albela.. hazaaron mein akela..."
Sentimental that girls are, Sukrutha broke down. But she turned her face away to hide the tears...
Looking at her back turned to him, Somesha said with a disgust to Prads, "Look at her! She can't even stand my sight!!! When they first fall in love they say all those sweet nothings, 'I want you always in front of me... like the eyebrows... You should protect me'... And look now... we are like cinders fallen on their eyes and they just want to get rid of us..."
Prads was a man too and felt the same way as Somesha did and expressed his sympathy, "Gosh! It would be difficult for you to forget her... But I believe, the more you have the feelings of hatred for her, the more you are going to remember her and more you are gonna harm yourself..."

Jeevs on the other hand found Sukrutha to be actually at the receiving end of the breakup as it appeared from her story, "Boys!They say I am with you whatever you do.But after the excitement of the initial love drops,they start questioning you and they forget their own talks of space,freedom and independence and so on..."
Jeevs though agreed was not in a mood to be deep serious about it, "Gosh! Isn't it the duty of the pair to keep that love alive. Learn that from Ekta kapoor. Though her telly serials run for years, she sees to that people don't lose their interest in it..."

The mention of the word telly changed the entire settings and suddenly both of Swat's friends disappeared and there appeared Senior Bollywood Actress Rekha announcing, "Welcome back to Love.. break-ups... zindagi..." Swats was not sure yet of what was going on and asked herself, "Am I watching a tv reality show?" And Rekha spoke as if she was answering Swats' queries, "Every week we put our agents behind a couple who have separated and try to find out whether love has really died or have they murdered the love that could have lived a longer life... In today's episode we saw the girl saying the boy has betrayed her sincere emotions and the boy saying that the girl showed hatred and contempt for him... who is speaking the truth? can they still come together?"

That put Swats in a thinking mood when suddenly she heard Rekha say, "We will get a expert opinion on this.., we will now call Swasthee or Swats as she calls herself and know her esteemed views..." and Swats' mobile rang.Confused Swats was about to pick the phone when the invisible voice said, "No Mobiles allowed inside"
Even though she didn't pick the phone, she heard herself answer, "Both were lying... Sukrutha to Jeevs and Somesha to Prads... The ego of both of them made them separate from each other... Same ego didn't wish them to see their partner with another. Sukrutha presented a feeling that depicted as if she was betrayed and that somesha is a cheater. Somesha presented himself as being always hated by Sukrutha so that Prads couldn't imagine Sukrutha as someone good and respectable..."
Then Actress Rekha ended the show with great lines which she would have copied from some facebook status message "Love is supposed to dignify us.. exalt us... How can it be love, if all it does is make us say bad things or lie about our partners - ex or current.. Does love make one lonely and corrupt?"

Suddenly Swats heard the sound of bells.She thought it was the church bell.But it wasn't!!! It was the exam bells and she heard the voice which earlier said "shhh" and "no mobiles" say in a stern voice"Exams katham honeki ganti nahi sunai dethi kya? give me the paper..." And when Swats looked outside the exit door of the exam hall, She saw Jeevs waiting for her. And as she looked out of the left window, she saw Prads waiting below at the parking lot.And when her friends asked her, "How was the Paper?" She answered, "Was I giving a Paper? I wrote about a show called love breakup the way... what exams I had today?"
Moral of the story: Never study the whole previous night of the exams... Do get some sleep

Sunday, January 8, 2012

On Location

Swats was waiting for this opportunity since her birth. She had seen this place many a times on small and big screen. She wanted to be there and witness herself the atmosphere of the place. Today, Prads was taking her to that place. And she was thankful to her samsung mobile set for giving her opportunity though it was not with her to receive the greetings.
Her mobile set was stolen with the sim card still in it and to retrieve the old sim number, she had to file a complaint at the local Police station and she thanked God for giving her an opportunity to visit the police station.

The duty officer was a lady in her early thirties and she had a wrong-doer in front of her. A young man probably a college going student. As Swats and Prads were attended by a head constable, they watched the duty officer interrogate the suspect, "Are Gansham! What's this guy done! Raped a minor? Defrauded pension holder? Into drugs?" Swats immediately looked at the constable to see his answer and the answer made her smile a bit, "Madam! That young brat sends lewd messages to aunties.... ", The young guy got pissed off and he remarked sternly, "She doesn't look like a aunt to me at all..." and suddenly a thud sound came and Prads who had his head down unwilling to see the confrontation asked Swats, "What was that sound? I presume its not a gun shot?" Swats smiled, "That's the soft hands of the lady inspector landing on the smooth cheeks of that college going lad. That's what we call 'One Tight Slap'"

The duty officer started using all kinds of cussing words," She is your teacher and she is married and has a young boy. And you disturb her peaceful life by sending her messages at night hours.. You son of a bitch!!!" and then another thud sound and questioned him, "Why did you do that? And to whom all you are sending such messages.." The boy answered with a slow voice, "She failed me in the exams... " Prads was really shocked on hearing it, "Earlier, kids used to ruin their own life if they got failed in exams. Now they have started ruining the life of one's who have failed them. This is a dangerous trend" The Inspector restrained herself from hitting but didn't restrain from usage of further cussing words, "Whats wrong with you.. Why can't you study and pass... If you can't study go and work in garage... You silly punk! You ************"

Prads saw that Swats was observing the interrogation rather than writing her complainant, "Finish it off.. I have to go to the temple..." Swasts smiled, "Comon... God will not go anywhere... He will be seated in his own place.. This is great entertainment.... I can't miss this one... Her vocabulary reminds me of captain haddock from tintin comics." The inspector asked the constable to read out the message and the constable found it hard to read the message as it was a hindi message written in english and to swats delight, he handed the mobile to her to read. Swats read out loud, "Sony has a show, 'Bade achche laghte hain'... Now tell me madam, bade kisko achche nahi lagthe..." The constable tried to control his laughter at the joke and let out a inaudible, 'Thats true'. But the inspector now was really pissed off, "Bade kissko achche nahi laghta!!!!" she took her lathi and started beating him, "I will land 'bade bade' bruises on you whole skin that your parents will fail to recognize you and they wud say, 'This is not the child born to us...'"

The violent turn somewhat made Prads uncomfortable, "Isn't that a man-handling?" Swats enjoyed it, "No! That's the way woman handles things when she gets pissed off..." To Prad's delight, the constable came to the boy's rescue and suggested the inspector to summon the boy's parents. And to their shock, the boy feared his dad more than the inspector, "No! Not my dad... Please! Not my dad... I swear I will never do like this again..."

The constable looked at him "And why shouldn't we call your parents? Would he thrash you like a waste? Or would he remove you from the college"
The boy still weeping, "Worse than that I fear. He would take the mobile away from me..."
Now the inspector had turned into kali and the constable feared for the young boy's life. The Inspector took the mobile she had already taken into custody and smashed into the ground and then smothered it with her feet and then handed him the mobile along with the broken sim card, "Lo! Anthim samskar karlo iska..." Saying so she asked the constable to put him in lock-up till his parents come up. And then she walked out of the station

Swats handed over the two copies of the complaint to the constable and turning to the boy, she said, "If you want the same sim reactivated, you need to file a police complainant. That's what I learned today..."

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Last New Year

Swasthee or Swats called Pradyumna or Prads, her senior friend exactly when the clock struck twelve times and wished him "Happy New Year"
Prads had gone to bed with a tinge of sadness and that was clear in the reply he gave" Every year has been the same to me... and I believe this year is gonna be no change"

Swats tried to cheer him up like any true friend would do, "This yr is gonna be different cos this yr is gonna be the end of all cute gals guys... I mean everyone ....on dec 21st 2012 the world ends... So live it to the best...."
That made Prads more sad, "Yeah!!! that makes matters more worse... I have not found any girl to hold hands and welcome death and say into his eyes, 'I am ready to meet my maker... Is he?" and he admonished Swats,"You called me in the middle of the night to make me sad and show how lonely I would be when death comes knocking on my door... A Big Thanks.." and he started weeping softly.
Swats had to calm him up before he woke up the entire neighbourhood, "You don't always need a lover to hold your hand romantically. When you are at the doorsteps of death it could be your bestieeeee who knows you in and out, who fools you everyday, and is with you in whatever you do....she cud be but he best person to jump off to death with..."

Prads failed to recognize the gender swats had used while refering to the besite, "all my best friends would be sitting in front of their tube with their wife stuffing eatables into their mouth and with their kids wetting their pants. And You know I have thrown my television off the balcony some years earlier... so what option have I got..."
While swats was making the phone call, jeevs or jeevitha, another of prad's very young friend, had already decided to give him a call... a personal call and she was successful in creeping into his room without his parent's knowledge. She was by his bedside and she whispered slowly into his ears, "Prads Dear! Happy new year!!!". Prads had a shock of his lifetime and he shouted like hell as if he had seen a ghost
and that woke up the entire neighborhood. Within minutes, his parents came to the scene and his father's eyes were red with anger on seeing a young girl in his unmarried son's bedroom

Prads said to swats over phone,"Your friend Jeevs is here. It seems my end is near
i don't have to wait till 21 december 2012... and seems I would be welcoming it hands in hand with a girl"
and he caught hold of jeevs hands and held it tightly... not out of love, but out of fear from seeing his fathers angry face

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Chosen One

Pradhyumna or Prads was enjoying the quiet evening and trying to put his mind to some exercise with some chess game with Jeevitha or jeevs when suddenly Swasthee or swats burst in, "I am the Chosen One...", she declared with aplomb
Jeevs didn't like Swats disturbing her brainy session with Prads and she asked her "The Choen one... Don't tell me you have won five crores... you don't have that flashback that would bring tears to the viewers... you cant win it re..."

Swats was still excited, "No... Its not Big B who has made me the chosen one... Its the real Big One... God Almighty who has selected me as the Chosen one..."
Prads looked at her closely and said, "I was searching for dark circles around the know... signs of insomnia..."
Jeevs, "No way she can be deprived of sleep. She gets them during the classes...."
Swats shouted, "I am serious!!! He has selected me for a mission..."

Prads moved his queen and shouted checkmate and turning to swats and said lightheartedly, "and what could be the mission... get rid of corruption or make all boys say to their girls. 'Madam...I am your Adam'...."
Swats volunteered to make the chess move for Jeevs and said, "CHECKMATE.. and coming to my mission... it has nothing to do with corruption or boys... its about love... its about..."
Prads used his horse effectively and countered her move and with a deja vu feeling, "I am tired about love... or to say musically, 'not sure about love or life anymore'. So you are chosen to bring the hearts together???"

Swats allowed Jeeves to make the next move as she explained her mission more clearly, "No!!!... My mission is to break hearts... to separate couples..."
Both of them turned towards her with a certain feeling that this girl has gone mad and looked for a explanation
Swats smiled, "Dude's theory... I mean... Gods theory is like this... If best is to come from a man whether be it a poem or working for a social cause, that can be done only when he knows pain and the best form of pain comes from separation... so when he is separated from his dear ones, he will have that pain and in that pain he will do the soul search and he will realize me and the best will come out of him"
Jeevs laughed out loud as she removed Prads' queen and said to him, "She has not come from temple.. she came back from a theater" and turning to Swats, "Did your God look like Ranbir Kapoor..."

Swats got furious, "I don't have the appointment order or gadgets to prove that I am chosen one.. But don't you feel that this is a good mission... People in love tend to forget everything around them... the world needs someone to separate them... so god has selected one..."
Prads spoke out a bit harshly, "God has already made man vulnerable... You take a mans DNA and you will see that the brain or the looks or whatever physical or mental qualities or abilities he has got is from his ancestors... the only thing he can proud to be say 'belongs to me' is the ego...this ego is the one which always make him say something stupid something bad which can never be taken back...this ego would ultimately make him bring pain to others and to himself ultimately... its only a matter of time when he hurts his dear one.. Some do it within a year and some after a decade...So God interfering would be not necessary and God himself would be knowing that one"

Sunday, September 4, 2011


After 43 days,Pradyumna or prads as his friends call him, opened his eyes from the deep meditation. He had sat for meditation searching for answers along with his young friend viran.(read here) He felt that in the last 43 days, His India had suddenly changed a lot. He guessed it from his mobile forwards. Usually it was filled with lot of crude jokes or some so called inspirational quotes. But now it was just filled with anti corruption jokes and lots of support for a old man called Anna Hazare.

Prads was really thrilled and questioned himself, "Am I in india or have I entered a parallel universe?"
And then into the peaceful street a reporter entered. She introduced herself to the rolling camera, " I am Reporter Sharmistha from NBTV.."
Prads shook his head, "Another news channel has sprouted kya...?"
Viran, his young buddy replied, "NBTV... No Brains Television"

And the reported started her nonsense, "Let us see how the drama of anna hazare has affected India in the most remote places like this temple city"
And the spotlight turned to a worried parent purchasing a tricycle for his kid of six years,
"My son has seen anna hazare all over the television and decided to fast until we give him a tricycle"
The reporter questioned, "Now that must have ruined your budget for the month. What did you do? Went for some salary advance?"
The answer from the man left her surprised, "No! other parents from the neighbour hood contributed some funds... See! They wanted to stop this news from spreading to the entire neighborhood and other kids picking up the practice.So a fund was built and tricycle purchased. "

Moving ahead she found a young man in his thirties placing order for a four wheeler
When the camera got focused on him, he started speaking without waiting for the reporter to put forward the question,"We buy television to our wives so that they can watch those serials and keep their mouths shut for some hours... but now anna hazare has made them open their mouths and raise their demands and showed them ways to have it get done...agar meri biwi fast karegi tho mujhe bhi khane ko nahi milega...usa rokho... koi use rokho"
Prads looked at the reporter and her costume, "she may be covering the news very good... but the same can't be said about other things"

The reporter then caught hold of a young teenage girl who was weeping and washing the tears with her hanky,"The fasting by the old man is also affecting young teenage girls also..."
And the teenage girl said her sad story with sobs, "Today I had a date with a hottest hunk from a software company being friday night... and that too dinner at the JD's restaurant...but anna hazare called the young men of his country to support him and asked them to give some time from their weekend or take compensatory leave..guess my man decided to listen to a 70 year old man rather to a 18 year old girl..."

The reporter turned to the camera with the concluding remarks "See how the boys and girls are suffering in a small temple city because of a fasting of a old man in the distant capital city"
Prads too had to make a concluding comment, "Where do the NBTV recruit their reporters...? from some mental institution!!!"

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Quest

Father of every teenager has worries and any parent wouldn't disagree with that statement. But this dad had strange worries - Last time around his son Viran had left home just because his father had refused to gift him a motorbike (read here). Now, the young fellow has joined the local mutt to do deep meditation searching for inner meanings and answers.
On the way the worried father met Pradhyumna and his two young friends Swasthee and Jeevitha. On hearing his plight, girls wanted to help him. They just loved the task of disturbing the penance of a youngster... and aren't they good in it

When they arrived, nd then they found the seventeen year old Viran in the mutt his eyes closed. Swats couldn't believe her eyes "With so many cute devotees around you, how can you keep your eyes closed.Un aankhonkee tauheen hain..."
A senior saint opened his eyes when he heard swats' sexy voice and slowly hissed, "when we are on to viagra he is into vairagya... kya kalyug hain?"
Viran answered her without even opening his eyes, "My mind is searching for answers...that google cant find for me..."

Swats found it amusing, "Like..what questions would be set for the coming answers?"
Viran smiled as he spoke very gracefully , "Its not on a micro level... its much bigger than that..."
Jeevs also had to make some witty comment, "Like which country would the united states attack next?"
Viran laughed, "You people are so hooked on to the tv world... Its got to do something spiritual..."
Prads couldn't believe it, "Like... Why we are born?... rather like why we are born as human?.. or to be specific... like why are we born as a males?"
The young man smiled, "I already have those answers.. Darwin, Adam and my biology teacher have helped me there... I am onto something bigger..."
The three waited with much breath to listen to him. And Viran opened his eyes and told his doubts,"Its like why we boys fall for girls head over heels?"

Swats and Jeevs coudn't control their laughter,"Eons may pass... you will never get the answer..."
The young man had deeper questions, "Why we boys run back into them even when they treat us as jerks? why?"
Prads was amazed at the boy's quest for answers.
And young man continued, "And we keep remembering them even when they have left us and married someone else and have a kid and not even give our name to that kid at least...why?
Swats and Jeevs looked at the changes in their dear friend Prads' face.They hoped Prads would say something to bring Viran outside...But the opposite happened as Prads announced,"I think you are right... Even I am a victim of this moha"... Turning to swats and jeevs, he said, "Girls... You carry forward without me..."
And saying that he took the seat next to Viran
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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