Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Nothing Is Untrue

Prem always enjoyed to be on the railway platform. He loved the looks on the people waiting for the arriving train. A father's face said his thoughts , 'Son. I have sent you as a man to win a degree in engineers. Don't come back as a cartoon character and make me lose my reputation." A mother waiting impatiently for her married daughter who is coming alone for the first time, 'O God, If the train comes on time and in full shape, I promise you nuts... coconuts' , the taxi driver with a placard saying "Norman, Your Mother is waiting in the car"

But there was this young lady sitting alone. In a distance, her kid was playing train..train. Had it not been for that kid, Prem would have mistaken the married lady for a college going girl.
Prem was expecting his friend who was acting as a courier boy bringing some package and taking the responsibility of personally delivering the same. As there was still five to ten minutes, he decided to pass the time with this young boy.

Prem looked once at the lady who seemed to be lost in her thoughts and then at the kid, "Hi There. And this young boy is waiting for.... "
The boy with full zeal and still imitating the train, "My Dad.... You know, my dad is 6'3. But he can make himself small to the size of a grain."
Prem thought to himself, 'what a imagination', but encouraged the boy, "Really, your dad seems to be like Lord Krishna, who shows the Vishw Roop to Arjun and at the same time can reside in small stone like saaligram."

Still the lady was not interested. Prem ignored her and continued whiling away the time with the kid, "Where could be the train now ?"
The boy made all kinds of face and now the face enacted the expression of fear, "Now my dad's journey is through a dark tunnel that is too lengthy. Nearly a hour drive It is very dark inside the train."
Prem was surprised by the boy's talents, "Hmm. A hour in a tunnel. Make it another half an hour and you have got a full fledged horror movie. Now I am really scared. "

That made the boy continue his stories, "But my Dad will not be. He is very brave. No Knife can take blood out of him. He feels no pain...."
The lady just looked at her son once and then at the tracks for any signs of the train
Prem was really entertained by this kid, "Now. Let me guess what your father could be. A soldier guarding the borders.... "
The boy answered in a negative, "No he works on computers. You know it is not easy to deal with computers.... "
Prem agreed, "Yeah, you can ask a person to shut up. But a computer you can't. Even you cant shut it down properly when it behaves strangely and after some bagging of heads, you just go and switch off the mains.... Let me ask your dad for some tips."

The train made its entrance to the announcer's sweet voice and the boy started searching for his father. But his father was not to be found. But there was not a drop of anxiety on the lady's face. Prem's friend got down and before Prem could greet him, he saw the lady moving towards him. After greeting Prem's friend, she collected the package and then started departing from the platform with the kid. Prem wanted to know what was going on. The kid was crying out loud and the lady was dragging the boy forcefully. The kid was reluctant to leave the place and that too without his father. She didn't had any answers for the kid's questions of 'where is my dad?'

Prem was really confused. But after hearing his friend's explanation, he had tears in his eyes, " That woman's husband lost his life in a hit and run incident in US. Its only five years, that they have been married and most of the time he was away from home. That's his ashes in the package which I collected at the Bangalore airport."

Prem was silent for some time and remembered some of the boy's dialogues, ' dad is 6'3. But he can make himself small to the size of a grain.......Now my dad's journey is through a dark tunnel that is too lengthy.........No Knife can take blood out of him. He feels no pain...."
The boy was not at all lying about his father.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Top Secret!

UK has Ministry of Magic, US has X-Files . Can India be left behind. No way. It has what is known as Anhonee Kendr set in the year 1947 itself and so popularly called as AK-47. It was set to assist the military by focusing on the paranormal, strange happenings and whatever else there is that is not normal.

On that fateful day, two of its members were at Prem's house. It looks like that they need him for their mission. One of them is a 60-year old with a white beard and spoke with the calmness that reminded Prem of Ravishankar. The other was a middle aged woman who was very strangely dressed and looked to have jumped out of a RGV movie. Does she have some dolls and needles and lemons in that dusty bag she carried thought Prem.

After explaining the organization and its functions for the nation, the old man who called himself Lateeq started highlighting on their contribution, "After studying some old manuscripts from Ashoka's time, we are in the process of giving anti gravity powers to our soldiers on the border. They can defy gravitational pull and throw them self at any enemy soldier at ease and without difficulty. what do you think?"
Prem found it hard to swallow, "I don't know much about gravity or its pull. All i know about gravity is what Einstein said, 'Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love'. I presume with your soldiers hopping around freely, it would look more like a zanier version of the crazy frog video rather than a war zone'

The lady who had a strange name to suit her, Dushareera began to tell her, "You know zombies. I have created an army of zombies who will guard our border all night and even a pin drop would alert them. So now there is less border-crossing happening at night. "
Prem was now sure what this witch did, "You use black magic for the advantage of the army?"
The lady laughed that matched a hyena's mating call and said, "No. There are many displaced call center employees because of the recession. They find it hard to stick to a day job and get a good night's sleep. So I have identified the best among them and placed them on the border. Now they have a good day's sleep and our soldiers a good night's sleep"
Prem questioned "Now do you know there are some who don't sleep in the day and can't get a sleep in the night.... That's the ...."
Dushareera was quick to understand and interrupted, "We can't hire them. They may be physically present, but mentally absent. Even if our base is bombed, they wouldn't be aware. "

This was an insult, thought Prem and so erupted "So what do you want from me?"
Both of them looked at each other and Lateeq came to the point , "Our soldiers sometimes act like High School children. They take leave on a monthly basis so as to see their dear and near ones. Now If that could be avoided, it would be a relief to the seniors."
Prem was still confused, "I don't get it. Where do I come into picture."
Dushareera spoke this time with a smile that told Prem to be careful, "From outer appearance, you look to be leading a joyful life without the pain of separation. But our sources say that your pain of separation is not that anyone can endure. Anyone else would have gone to depression by now. You have not broken down. So we need to study you so that we can make each and every soldier endure the pain of separation as easily as you do.... "
Prem was not willing for the same , "A guinea pig!!! Me!!! No way....." Saying so, he prepared to leave the scene.

But Lateeq caught hold of him and tied him down with his own fists and Prem found it hard to come out of that clutch. As he was trying to come out of the knot, Dushareera just injected him with a syringe. Prem cried out loudly from the pain, "No.... No..........".
When the syringe was pulled out, Prem saw the doctor advising his parents, "The fever seems to be very high.... I think he may have to be put to examination."
Prem thought to himself, "Am I hallucinating... Or did Dushareera really inject me...."

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Heart Touching Story

One of the X-men seems to have escaped from the Xaviers Institute and reached Prem's locality. (for more information on X-Men and the series, click here). This mutant is gifted with the ability of erasing the entire memory of that special person or thing which is given a top priority in your heart by a simple touch of his palm on your heart.
Prem is on the run as it seems that this mutant is on his trail so as to erase his girlfriend Simran from Prem's memory permanently. Now who has given this mutant the Supari. Could it be his Dad...

Prem needed a hike and luckily he got one from the beautiful Mallika. The lady was all praise for the mutant as her husband had returned to his normal state. Her husband was a die hard fan of Katrina and her legs and his heart was always HOUSEFUL screening her images. After giving the morning respects to Lord Ram's sandals, his next ritual was to worship Katrina's Long legs. But on that fateful day, in his dream state, crooning along with his ipod, he sang Zara Zara Touch Me, Touch Me with full josh and closed eyes in front of this mutant. The mutant was really touched and so he laid his palm on the man's heart and completed his wish. And One Touch on the heart did all the trick. No more images of Katrina on the 70MM screen of his heart.
Prem grew paranoid thinking that Mallika may hand him over to the mutant and so he decided to change his route.

So he then stopped a children's van which was heading towards his place. Tomboy Sumana who sat next to the driver, had made this mutant her favorite uncle. It had a flashback too. There was this aged teacher in her class who hated children especially Sumana and in his heart always liked to whip her very hard. That day, as the mutant was passing by, he saw the teacher whipping Sumana with the cane, "Didn't I tell you to learn by heart, didn' I. What I did I tell you?" The mutant only heard the sir say 'By heart' and the child repeating it with a scared look, 'By Heart'. The mutant thought that the Sir was challenging the kid to touch the heart with that cane in hand and so he went ahead and just laid his palm on the teacher's heart and literally the teacher had a change of heart. All the hatred vanished. Now the entire school is known for kind hearted teachers who rarely scold the children thanks to Sumana and her mutant uncle.
Prem didn't like this news a bit and asked the driver to stop immediately. He decided to continue the journey on foot.

But unknown to him, the mutant was nearby at the temple, where the seer was giving a discourse on 'Identifying oneself with God'. The mutant had heard about this seer and was there to offer his salutations. He laid the gifts and the fruits down and bowing down, 'Is there more I can do ?'. The Seer just touched the heart with his hand expressing that he was content with whatever his devotees had to offer. The dumb mutant didn't get the point and just laid his palm on the Seer's heart and left the place. Only Lord Krishna was residing in the seer's heart and phoonk, it was gone. When one of the young devotees questioned the Seer , "Can you tell me how to identify Shri Krishna when he comes in front of me?", The Seer with pure innocence and complete ignorance looked at the devotee, "If you can't identify him, don't take it hard. He may be in a position to identify you and talk with you...". The answer had calmed the anxiety of the youngster. Everyone was full praise for the Seer and his Lord Krishna. But the next statement from the Seer made them drop their jaws, "BTW, which Krishna are you talking about. Is it the one who is contesting in the next election or someone you know ?"

Then when Prem was about to reach his home, there was the mutant, waiting for him near the Gates. Prem knew that running or begging would not be a good idea. In a split second, the Mutant was close to him and had already laid the hand on his heart. Prem just couldn't bear the thought of forgetting Simran and closed his eyes and cried out loud in pain, "Nooooo, Noooooo......". When he opened his eyes, he found not the palm of the mutant but the stethoscope of a doctor resting on his heart. The doctor was breaking the news of his illness to his parents, "He seems to have high fever. Take well care of him."

Prem just knocked on his heart to check if Simran was still there.....

Monday, November 17, 2008

A piece of advice

When someone falls ill in a village, all the people in the village becomes doctors - Some Proverb.

Prem found it true when he found himself having to make a choice between his family and Simran. It's not a easy matter. He didn't ask anyone for solutions, but solutions were coming from all sides.

The person who called himself a expert on such matters was giving his views over the radio at a very odd hour quoting from different sources, "Your parents and siblings will not be there for you till your final breath. Its your companion who will be there till the end. So choose carefully." Then he went on to give the ring finger and the chinese theory. Just then Prem's father entered the room and shouted , "Shut off that crap. Its nearly midnight. Otherwise I will have your ring finger chopped off"

Then there are some senior citizens who put their opinions on the newspaper. And when reading the morning newspaper, Prem's mother found these golden words and wanted Prem to imbibe the same. It went like this in Kannada, 'Muthu Kotavalu bandaga, Tutu Kotavala marayabeda' (Meaning, Dont forget the person who has feed your stomach and brain, when some person enters your life who will feed you with lots of love and kisses.). Prem's father who was reading the editorial session, "Trash. All you get to read in the newspaper is trash. These girls irrespective of their age feed you trash, my son"

Then there are friends who feel they have mastered this subject and so they go ahead with their priceless suggestions. Such one suggestion was given to Prem by his friend Sandeep, "They say, Don't put all the eggs in one basket. That applies to girlfriends also. Don't put all your affection in just one girlfriend. Diversification is definitely required. Go Ahead, my Boy. Make some more girlfriends ..." Prem didn't need his father to guide him on this occasion, "I am not looking for a profitable portfolio. I am looking for a merger which leads to some synergy."

As icing on the cake, there was a call, which said that each person was gifted with three beautiful things which helped them to make the choice. Prem was confused and with a quizzing look, "Roti, Kappad aur makaan?" The voice got irritated, "No, buddy. It's Heart, Head and the conscience. Listen to your conscience and make the correct decision." Now Prem wanted to know the source of the great voice which was advising him. The voice said, "OMG. Didn't you recognize me. This is a call from your conscience. I am the Voice of Your Conscience. Are you listening to me.... Hello........Hello...... Anybody Home."

Prem was still not able to listen to his conscience clearly. He definitely needed some help.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Simulation

Prem had not much problem when it comes to decision making whether it be in the office or at home. But the problem was with his love life. Words from Simran echoed in his mind, "In any love, it is the boy who has to take the tough decision."

In Prem's office, they have installed a new simulation software that enables to tell how a system and its variables would behave in a uncertain future event and that too over a business cycle of around 8 years. Prem thought "Had there been such a simulation software to test whether a marriage could be successful or not". And Wow, this new software did not need inputs to be feed by the user, it just took it from his mind (Technology knew no bounds). So it took the variables from Prem's mind (that is Prem and Simran) and started the simulation technique to Prem's Surprise.

The simulation looked more like a Disney Cartoon Movie where the characters faces resembled some heroes'. Here it took the face of Prem and Simran from Prem's memory. The software placed the two variables Prem and Simran six months from the current time in their family roles. User Prem remembered him telling Simran of how their lifestyles differ, he rising early and being the one who doesn't like night outs. Always had the doubt whether Simran could adjust to the same. The software just read his brain waves and simulated such an environment.
Oh No! As he was viewing the result, Simran was still in bed even though it was 7.00 clock. As a user, Prem was able to control his behavior. So he decides to throw a bucket of water on Simran. And when he was ready with the bucket lifted, Simran who was pretending to be asleep suddenly rose. Prem just lost his feet and fell on ground with the bucket of water over his face.
Lets see where the girl is, at 7.00 PM, thought the user Prem. So he had the simulated Prem call Simran over her mobile from his office and what he hears over the mobile, loud music. Oh No! thought User Prem, she is at the Pub. Wait! Wait!. The mobile again rings. And when he sees his video mobile, he sees Simran standing in front of their home television with the News Channel showing the date and time. Earlier just to irritate Prem, she had put on the music system and stood next to it. Simran had a nice comment, "Feeling like Will Smith from I AM LEGEND where he races against time to be at home before sunset"

Lets move a bit forward. Prem belonging to the orthodox vegetarian family with traditional values wanted to know of how his girlfriend would stick around.
And so the time was set to six years from now. And now there were three variables. Prem created a new variable, a younger version of Simran, a five year old daughter. User Prem forced the simulated Prem to say something to the younger Simran when the latter wanted to visit her Mother's place, "No, Its a place of Cannibals who feed only on flesh and blood. They not only cut the head of the chicken, but also the cut of humans. They can't control themselves, when they see a huge knife. You can go. But better be careful." Simran calmly said "You can go to the other granny's place. They will make you wake up at 4.30 in the morning, have a cold bath. By six in the evening, you have to be at home and by eight in the bed. Go there.... It is somewhat like the boarding school your friend goes" But she was telling it in a very cool fashion that only brought a smile to Prem's face, "Let's stop the fairy tales"

User Prem now wanted to see how they would behave after The Seven Year Itch. The computer was just reading the mind and it showed an empty house and Simran packing her things and Prem packing his belongings and the younger version waiting at the gates. User Prem was really tensed up. OMG! Did his love fail. Ab Kya Kare? Then he saw that both Prem and Simran sat in the same Alto vehicle with the chubby younger Simran in the back seat who cried out loud, "Around India in 30 days," Now User Prem got the pulse of the situation. The dreams of both Prem and Simran was seeing the light of the day. Prem wanted to write a book and needed inspirations and Simran wanted to tour the entire India. Both of the dreams has come alive with this India tour during the vacation time.

As his job required, Prem was required to pass the software. And he did that with closed eyes

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Devil's Offer

Prem was really in a mood to interrogate the Almighty and get the answers to his questions. He had lost the serenity to accept things as they are neither did he had the courage to take things forward. It seems that he may have to lose Simran forever, which he was not ready to.

Looking up at the sky, he shouted "Why me? Why can't I have what I want?". Suddenly like a rocket, Prem got propelled forward up into the sky. Gravity had no more control over Prem. But half way, he got stopped on some top most floor of a high skyscraper where a secretary invited her, "Our CEO would see you in a minute." The secretary in her mini skirt and the other staff (all ladies) reminded him of the Kingfisher Calendar. 'Was he in Mallya's office', thought Prem.

The CEO was playing golf inside his cabin as Prem was showed into the office. Introduction from CEO left him speechless, "I am the devil. I heard you cursing my competitor and thought I could make you an offer." When Prem found it hard to believe that, CEO had his Secretary show him the complete Hell.

After the tour, the devil had Prem's attention. So he began his offer, "I am not God, who makes you wait for the rewards. I can give you Simran. But in exchange, I have to take something from you."
Prem was listening and just blinked his eye and so the Devil Continued, "All I will take from you is the love of your parents towards you."
Prem instantly found it disagreeable, "Love is a complete circle. I have learned to give love from my parents. If I am deceived of that love, what love can i give to Simran."
Devil with an evil grin, "You know what your favorite star SRK told in Baazigar, 'Kuch Pane keliye Kuch Khona bi Padtha Hain. Aur Jo Haar kar Jeetha Hain, Usko Baazigar kehthe hain."
Prem had seen the movie umpteen times, "And In the end, he neither had Kajor nor Shilpa..."

The Devil was not the one to be discouraged and continued, "Ok. Here is another offer. You can have Simran and enjoy the life with her. But You may have to forgo your ambition and goals in life. And have a decent life bereft of the excitements and challenges"
Prem couldn't believe this, "Your offers are hollow to me. Love is the backbone of Life. You can't break my back with that love and make me bend to you like that. My soul is not for sale."
Devil tried to explain, "I am asking you to be content with small things in life and lead a simple existence. You can sing together, 'Chota sa ghar, hain ye magar....'"
Prem, "Please don't sing. I presume this is one way by which you torture the hell's residents.. by your voice..... It's not about simple life... You want to kill my spirit... I want challenges and excitements and I want her support in that tough times... 'Tum dena saath mera o humnawa... Jab koi baath bigad jaye'"

Devil was very upset that he couldn't corrupt Prem's mind, "Let's do it in reverse. You give up her love and I will give you the best life where you can achieve your goals and ambitions."
This upset Prem and he was about to take the devil by its horns, "Giving up. Its not there in my dictionary..."
Devil interrupted, "Actually its not there in any dictionary. It's two words.."
Prem got infuriated, "Don't advice of what should I do to get Simran in Life. I will do what I can to have her in my life, if that means waiting till eternity.... "
Devil was not amused, "I am not running a consultancy firm to advice you. I am having package offers. There are many takers, if not you... And don't give a speech on love and spoil the minds of my followers" and he told his assistants, "Push this soul back to Earth and get me someone who has lost everything in the market crash. They are good candidates"

When Prem found himself back on earth, he was in the amusement park and that the roller coaster ride which he was enjoying with his friends had come to an end.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Prem Kahani - Story of Prem

(The following story is a purely fictitious one and any resemblance to any scripts of any movie studio is co-incidence.)

Ash Taj Films were seeing some rough run in the past year. People always remembered their best ever hit Binbulaye, Dulhe Le Jayenga (Story of the girl planning to kidnap her lover who wants to stick to the tradition of marrying with Maa-Baap ki marzi). That story may have been inspired from Meera's blog. Looking for another comeback, they chanced upon Prem's story and picked it up. A final review was scheduled between the creative team and Prem .

Scriptwriter began with the scene where the love blooms, "As the love blooms in that room between the two friends, We will show it as a room in the house on that lonely road. All the roads are deserted as there is some violence erupted and both of them are forced to take shelter in that room and that is when love blooms."
This is what happens when a sixty year old scripts a modern day romance story, thought Prem as he said, "Its not the room as you think. It's a google chat room. And the roads were deserted not because there was some violence, but because it was the IPL Final Match. But two souls, myself and Simran, were least interested in this game and so we found solace in that chat room. I sat in front of the system at around ten in the morning and when we finished chatting, I found that time was still ten. I thought time had stood still especially for us. Only when my mother yelled at me from the kitchen, 'Turn off that damn system and come to dinner, will you?', did I realize that it was ten in the night"
The lyricist who was present there had a song ready, "Kambakth Pyar ko kya batha Waqt kya hoti hai. Usko tho do dilonse matlab hain"

The scriptwriter moved onto the scene where the girl proposes after they meet in the ice cream parlor, "The sweetness in the ice cream makes the heroine crave for sweetness in her life. She was not able to sleep. She calls the hero repeatedly and every time he picks up the phone, she feels shy to say those sacred three words. But finally she makes up her mind and just messages them over the mobile."
Prem wanted to shout at him for spoiling the entire proposal scene, but controlled himself and with a calm voice, "The sweetness in the ice cream didn't allow her to sleep because it increased her tooth ache. The tooth ache led to a swollen mouth after the doctor injected something and did a root canal. So she was not able to say those sacred words. So she messaged me... And she is not the kind who would call five or six times and just waste the currency without saying anything... Gimme a break...."
Editor who was present there said, "Yeah, its the right time to bring the interval on the screen and that too the word Interval would come as if typed on a mobile. Howz that?."

Post interval, the scriptwriter wanted the movie to move like this, "Prem is not able to convince his parents to accept the girl and so he becomes a modern day devdas. His end would be a classic. Like those tragic heroes, Prem just stands in front of the approaching train welcoming his death with both hands...."
Prem was totally pissed off. He held the scriptwriter by his collar and threatened with a very cold voice, "Abhe saaley, I would have you thrown on the same tracks, if you end my story like this on screen. I have not become devdas or anything like that. If I don't shave every two days, I would have to lose my job. If I booze and come home, I would have to sleep in the kennel meant for Bond, neighbor's dog. Our love has not diminished even a bit. On the contrary it has strengthened a lot. We haven't seen each other in the last three months. But still our love is still strong. I believe what Osho says, 'Don't fall in Love, Rise in Love'"

The scriptwriter was beaten blue by Prem in the presence of the entire team.
The Director was focusing on Prem as he walked out majestically and then focused on the scriptwriter who was lying on the ground in a very bad shape, "Now. This would be a perfect ending. A different one and the one no one has seen. Don't fall in Love, Rise in Love"

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Curse of the Sage

(If u could travel back in time to change the past in order to change the future u would have already done so and therefore the changes would have resulted in the present that u now occupy)

Prem was so deeply lost in the thoughts of Simran, he didn't realize the time ticking. Hours passed and suddenly days. Eons passed in the same thought and that too in the reverse direction, without Prem's knowledge.

He was not in the Kali Yug, he was in the Dwapar Yug. He was sitting in front of a hut when a sage came to his hut and begged for alms. Prem didn't budge from his place. He was transfixed on the image of his girl. The Sage got angered by his behavior and sprinkling the holy water on the boy, prepared to curse.

"You dare to insult me. Do you know what happened to Shakunthala? She also ignored the great sage Durvas and invited his wrath which led to her beau forgetting completely her even when she was pregnant with his child."
This was a breaking news for Prem, "Shakunthala, that sweet girl who lives at 12th Street is pregnant. She has just completed her intermediate and preparing for the entrance exams. Don't pull my legs. "
The Sage's eyes grew red with anger "Moorkh, I am talking of Dushyanth's shakunthala."
As there was lightning and thunder to give some extra effects to the sage's anger, Prem misheard some words. "Kroor... Dushashan.... you mean .... O there must have been some agression...Poor Girl..."

Sage was really in the mood to spank the spoiled brat, "Leaving all your work, which Kanya were you dreaming of ?"
Prem still unaware of the age continued answering innocently, " Kanya... OMG. How can you use such a simple word to describe her. She is an apsara by the name Simran."
That was not a good word to use in front of this sage, "Shit... Shit...Shit. Don't take the name of apsaras in front of us. We hate apsaras. Since time immemorial they have been hindrance to our tapas. Rakshahas are better than them, only thing is that they have horns. Vishu fell for the maneka's charms and his plans of a parallel universe fell flat...."
Prem continued in a jovial mood, "Speed breakers installed by Indra. You seemed to be running a hate campaign against the Apsaras. By the way, what are you doing at my door step. Did my mother invite you ?"

The Sage was now becoming a burning coal, "Ghor Apmaan....We don't need invitation....Haven't you heard of Athithi Devo Bhava..... What is your mind thinking of ?"
Prem again went to a trance, "Yeah...There are many who come without invitation... Like my girlfriend Simran... Without invitation she comes into my mind and without even saying a goodbye she moves out. My mind has become more like the local coffee shop for her, entering and exiting at her own will.... I am thinking of her and her alone...."

The Sage had too much. He just took some water or whatever it was from his kamandal and sprayed it on Prem cursing him, "Now... The girl you are thinking for ... you will only be able to think of... not able to do nothing more than that....."

As the water fell on his eyes, Prem got awakened and saw his mother with the water bottle.
He then questioned himself, "Was what he had seen real. Had he experienced some quantum leap. Had the curse taken effect. Had he gone to the distant past and changed his present which he now occupied"

(If the curse has come real, then he has to look for a cure. Any cure for the same. Shaap Vimochan, any one please)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Looking for an answer

King Vikramaditya was tired of the daily routine of piggybacking the bethal from his tree house to the graveyard. He was looking for a change and had updated his resume on Naukri and Monster job sites. He had one such interview call from a call center where his job would be to transport the telecallers from the office to their homes, that too at around midnight. Not much difference in the job profile. He didn't knew whom to hand over the charge of transportation of this bethal character for the day. Luckily Prem came forward.

Unlike the valiant Vikram who always carried the branded sword, Prem preferred to use the long knife carried by the local rowdies at Kalasipalyam(Bangalore hot spot). And apt for the moment he had let his hair down and wore some torn out jeans and a t-shirt with strange symbols. And the bethal to his surprise looked more like the dementor character from the Harry Potter Series.

Piggybacking the bethal character, Prem began his journey on that dark street bereft of any street lights. To lead him, Prem had brought his neighbour's dog, a ferocious doberman named Bond. It seemed that the bethal character was a bit terrorised by the dog.

But showing a fearless face, The Bethal in his usual fashion threatened Prem, "I am going to tell you a story, at the end of which I will put a question to you. If you fail to answer the question, I will have your skull smashed to thousand pieces". Prem hated such threats and the way bethal spoke remembered him of his father and his threats, "These types of half-baked threats will not work with me. I am not Vikrama and I don't want to listen to your silly third standard moral stories. Let's have a role reversal. I will tell you a story and put a question. If you answer improperly, I will not take you to the cemetery.... " Bhetal was happy on hearing this. But the continuation part really hit him hard, "... Rather have you buried here itself and let the dog devour you to pieces and eat your bones".

Thus began Prem's story, "Long Long ago, there lived a princess in a beautiful city of Mangalapura called Deepika. Like Rapunzel, she sang at a high pitch from the top of the tower overlooking the entire city ... " Bethal interrupted, "And who is Rapunzel ?"
Prem didn't like interruptions, "Its a fairy tale character. I have the fairy tales downloaded on my system. I will give them to you later. You can read them at leisure either inside the cemetery if you are feeling cold or hanging upside down from the tree if you are feeling hot."

Prem continued the story, "Her voice traveled in the air and was heard in a distant place by a book keeper. The book keeper worked for the royal palace of Surapura. No one else heard that voice except the book keeper who went by the name Indra. Thus grew a friendship which turned into a sweet relationship. Under the cupid's influence, the book keeper turned into a poet overnight. Like kalidas, he started playing with words. One day his talent was discovered by the king and thereafter he became one of the gems in the King's court.
As the relationship grew, his creations became better and he was his own competition as there were no opponents for him in the three worlds. The king began to shower on him praises and titles and gifts. At the same time, King also had made it very clear that if the quality of the poems came down, he would have the book keeper hanged."
Bethal who had his one eye on the dog had to comment, "Love is so stupid. But It is an important catharsis. A person who was living in the numerical world was now transformed to the world of dreams and illusions "

Prem was surprised by this remark, "U heartless fellow, How do you know so much about Love. Do any lovers meet and exchange sweet nothings under that tree of yours in the evening hours.?" He didn't wait for an answer
"So this went on for some time as seasons changed. Then one day, the princess questioned the poet, 'It's only when I wish to communicate with you, that you can listen to me. So, if one day, I stop talking with you, what would happen to you.' The poet was really at loss of words. He was not prepared for the same and didn't knew how to answer.
Now comes my question, If the princess were to do as she says, what would happen to the poet. Will he be able to continue writing poems, banking on the inspiration he had still now, and that too as good as earlier if not better and win rewards from the king. Or will he lose his talent the minute the princess departs him and thus lose his head also."

The question had the bethal looking for his head so as to scratch it. Prem didnt want to give too much time and like in any game show started the countdown, "10... 9...8...7..."
"Wait... Wait...", announced Bethal, "If I am not able to answer, there are lots of my fans who will be willing to try." Looking at the computer screen, the Bethal continued, "There are two options...
A) The poet will die as soon as the princess goes away from his life. He may die because of separation or because of hanging.
B) The poet will continue and will write still better. If earlier he wrote on love, later he will write on separation
If your answer is A, SMS A TO 14369
If your answer is B, SMS B TO 14369..."
Thus saying so and catching on the momentary lapse of attention of Prem, Bethal started his flight back to his tree house. When questioned as to why he was returning to the tree house, "Network is better available over there..." came the witty reply.

Prem was not like Vikram to give him a hot chase. Rather, he just ordered the doberman, "Bond, go get him" Thus Bethal had to run for his dear life....
(But reader tell me what is you answer and kindly let me know the reasons.)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Driving Miss Simran

Simran was having her driving classes. It seems that the dark brown color of the car regularly used by the driving school didn't fancy her. So for that day and for a change, she had got the Golden colored Alto from her colleague Vishaka. Her mentor Manohar was of the type who believed that ladies fingers were better suited for the kitchen accessories rather than the steering wheels. He didn't like switching of the car strategy. 'Ambassador Ghoomne keliye, Maruthi Marne keliye' was his standard dialog.

Thus started the driving class. Simran was very unpredictable. For the driving class, she had worn a saree ("Today is Friday. I expect him to take me to the temple"). Seated in the backseat was a old lady of sixty years who wanted to learn driving because her NRI son had promised to take her abroad (The mentor tried to discourage her, "You would be going in a plane, not in car"). Seeing this saree clad lady, the old lady looked it as a good alliance for her son.

A question popped out of the old mind, "Don't you wear modern dresses?". Simran with a smile, "Occasionally...". The lady got a smile on her face. But that was short lived, when Simran completed the sentence, " Occasionally do i wear traditional dresses. I always wear modern dresses." The mentor suddenly warned, "Watch for that Pothole over there" But before Simran could react, she had put the car into the pothole. The mentor with a stern face, "Please watch the road above. Its not like cooking where you can do the talking and cooking at the same time." Simran wanted to smash the mentor's face with left-over tomatoes and potatos.

But the old lady couldn't stop "What Kind of a boy are you looking for ?" Simran thought for some time, keeping her eyes on the road, and said "Six feet tall and should take me to picnic once a month". She was kicking on the accelerator and the car was speeding down the road. The old lady, "My Boy is too six feet and goes on a business trip once in a month. Suits You Well." The mentor had to break the conversation, "Would you mind showing mercy on the accelerator. Stop pressing it hard. When walking down the road, you keep your blessed feet down on the planet earth so gently and lightly. Can't you follow the same when stepping on the accelerator. And why is the hurry, anyway. Drive as slowly, as you get ready for any important function." Simran felt like kicking the mentor rather than the accelerator.

The old lady needed to close the marriage deal then and there itself. She took the photograph of her son and placed it on the lap of Simran. At the same time, her mentor gave instructions to overtake a lorry. The boy was charming enough to turn Simran's head and so the steering wheel turned in the wrong direction, as she momentarily lost her attention. The mentor shrieked out loudly, "I said to overtake from the other side, not from the wrong side. You young girls always go the wrong way irrespective of what the elders say" Now the vehicle was not on the main road and there was a river on one side. Simran had lost control and found the car striding down into the river.

The fun of the entire incident was that Simran jumped out of the vehicle and was safe on the banks. Where was the mentor? The mentor was in the waters fully drenched and was cursing Simran and the entire womanhood. Simran thought that the scum was getting a well-deserved bath. Where is the old lady ? They looked at the car and in the river. She was not there and it made them anxious. Suddenly the old lady sneaked from behind and asked Simran, "Do you like my boy ?"

Before Simran could answer, Vishaka was on the mobile inquiring of her golden chariot. And Simran in a very soothing tone, "Its in a good shape. I have just brought it for a free car wash."
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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