Sunday, January 22, 2012

Friendship Forever 1 - Lets End It!

When students gather together, they talk about everything under the sun except the studies. Then who does really talk about the courses?? Do the lecturers talk about them when they gather together ? Naa...They are also humans (some readers may doubt it) and talk like average minds do. And so did the Tall handsome lecturer from Swats class as he started the interesting conversation about Swats and Jeevs. The lecturers had gather for a seminar on 'How to make students concentrate on Studies'. The distracted tall lecturer spoke with excitement, "Gosh! Those two girls can pick up a fight over anything... and this time they did over a blog... And then they started throwing everything into the fight. Like the Pandavas dragged the poor Draupadi into the game of dice and had her nearly disrobed, so did these girls... I mean they dragged their elderly friend Prads and questioned him as to among them who was his best friend and he can say only one name... Think about his predicament."

A young lady who seemed more like a student than a lecturer seemed to be following the story more closely than the curriculum she was given, "Swats defense was that she knew Prads earlier and she was always with him when he needed her most. When a blind love for a girl which was unrequited made Prads miserable, it has her friendship that held out the umbrella. Jeevs though agreeing added that it was she who made him come back to the real self with her antics and shenanigans. Jeevs also uttered some golden lines in her support, 'Its not the amount of time you spent that's important. Its only 'how many heartbeats you are away' that matters...."

A senior teacher and the one who believed that its always the male who suffers remarked with a tinge of sadness, "Poor Prads! I can understand what his delicate brain may be going through. Now what's he gonna do....?"
A Peon entered the room to serve the lectures with tea and biscuits.To the delight of the gathered, he also served them with the latest news, "Prads had been to this top lawyer and explained his misery with words not matching his thoughts, 'I am torn between these two...err.... they r fighting over me...err... as to who should have me... You need to guide me' the lawyer completely misunderstood him, "Well... You mean your parents are separated and they are fighting for getting the legal custody of you!!! But you look like a major to me...' Prads made himself clear, "No! Its like in the movies... When two gangster friends separate and they try to gain control of the turf... Here the people involved are worse than gangsters... They are two teenage girls and my dear friends... and I am the turf... Can you help me ??? " The lawyer refused saying, "I am not a criminal lawyer."

The old lady with the spectacles though looked boring updated the gathering of what she knew about the story, "He then visited the Swamiji in our area...Swamiji offered him solutions for all kinds of problems - marital problems, female problems etc... And Prads explained his problem, 'Swamiji...Why is God doing this to me.. He has made my two good female friends fight among themselves over me... It makes me feel bad.... Because of me, these two girls are hurting each other... What should I be doing?... Margdarshan Kijiye guruji..." Swamiji boasted of himself, "Its not a new problem.. Vajpayee also had similar problems during his Political run... Jaya and Mamatha wanted him to listen to their demands.. But he listened to me and didn't his problems got solved?" Prads wasn't sure of how to answer it but listened intently to swamiji's instructions, "Take this powder... Mix it in their milk and give it to them and see their reactions..." Prads knew this was totally wrong, "I don't want some vasheekaran ideas, you old man... Give it to those silly politicians. Besides, these are not some milk drinking young girls... They belong to the Twilight era... They bay for the blood... "

When the gathering was discussing, the principal had entered and he broke the conversation in a terse voice, "Did he find any solution?" The peon answered, "It seems so! Depressed with the suggestions of swamiji and lawyer, he was returning home when he met with the drunkard. The drunkard though had lost his senses to the booze listened to the problem and answered, "Teri to waat lag gayi! You disappear from this world! That's the only solution" and then fell down crooning Delhi belly's song, "Bhaag Bhaag DK Bose"
The principal looked at the peon a bit puzzled. The peon said, "See the noticeboard and You will understand!"

To the surprise of the students, they found a flock of lecturers running towards the notice board. On the notice board was the letter from Prads addreesed to Swats and Jeevs,"Swats and Jevs..... I am disappearing from this world of yours...Anyway I have lots of earned leave to my credit. I would return only when both of you have reconciled... Don't try to find me... Try to find a way to end to your silly quarrels.. One of you need to say sorry to the other. Remember sorry doesn't mean asking for forgiveness. Its another way of saying, 'Can we save this without breaking up'. Your coming together is the only thing that's gonna make me come back in your lives... Till then... wish me happy holidays."

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Love, Breakups and Zindagi

Swats was not making any sense of her state of being. She was hearing voices. She couldn't make out whether she was in a railway station or whether the voice was coming from a radio. In a way, she felt as if she was separated from this real world and she heard the voice say "When two People in Love Break up,They can't be Friends as they have Hurt Each other, They can't be Enemies as once they Loved Each other, ♥ The Only thing they can be, Are the Most Familiar Strangers..."
And then as it happens on DoorDarshan, First the audio, then the video... she saw the settings... It was a wedding... the bride and the groom were at the altar... She tried to see if she was there... "This couldn't be a dream... I am not asleep. If I was I would have been in the dream..."

Rather she saw her elderly friend Prads and her batchmate Jeevs. But they were quite distance apart.... He was at the Umpire's position and she was at the side empire's position...They had been assigned tasks... And Swats saw it written on a white sheet of paper. Swats felt the paper with both her hands as well as with her tongue.It was real and it read ,'There was a pair Sukrutha and Somesha who had separated recently. Jeevs is to approach Sukrutha and Prads is to approach Somesha and then instigate them to say something of their ex partners - to see how much they still have held on of their ex partners.' Swats got confused, "Who wrote this?" and she heard someone say "shhhhhhhhh. SILENCE!!!". She obeyed with fear and observed her friends play their parts

Jeevs tried to pick up a chat with Sukrutha. But before she could speak a word, Sukrutha who wore a becoming red saree remarked to Jeevs, "Look at the gentleman in black across the table... he is hitting at you..." Jeevs knew that a girl would be hit back more when her choice is insulted than herself, "Naa!!! He is not my type of guy.Look at his eyes!!!It looks like dracula has half eaten it. Look at his nose! Reminds me of those steep road curves we get when we cross the western ghat sections." That was enough to make Sukrutha frenzy
Thats when Prads came behind Somesha and casually started the converstion "Seems that the two ladies are having an argument over you... And to me, it looks Woman in red has the upper hand... You are a truly lucky guy!!!...Isn't she hot?"
Somesha remarked, "When a girl selects you, it doesn't mean you are lucky.It only means trials and tribulations has started... And I don't want to go for a re-trial with her....Yups! She is hot and I have burned my fingers already."
Prads gave a surprised look, "You Know her....Re-trial? You mean a girl with such a angel face broke your heart... I find it hard to believe?"

Jeevs on the other hand found Sukrutha praising the boy rather, "Why do you look at the external features? If you don't like his nose, get a synthetic one... Look at his heart...Look at his thinking..." Jeevs interrupted, "Looks like you are in a mood to dedicating a song to him... woh tho hain albela.. hazaaron mein akela..."
Sentimental that girls are, Sukrutha broke down. But she turned her face away to hide the tears...
Looking at her back turned to him, Somesha said with a disgust to Prads, "Look at her! She can't even stand my sight!!! When they first fall in love they say all those sweet nothings, 'I want you always in front of me... like the eyebrows... You should protect me'... And look now... we are like cinders fallen on their eyes and they just want to get rid of us..."
Prads was a man too and felt the same way as Somesha did and expressed his sympathy, "Gosh! It would be difficult for you to forget her... But I believe, the more you have the feelings of hatred for her, the more you are going to remember her and more you are gonna harm yourself..."

Jeevs on the other hand found Sukrutha to be actually at the receiving end of the breakup as it appeared from her story, "Boys!They say I am with you whatever you do.But after the excitement of the initial love drops,they start questioning you and they forget their own talks of space,freedom and independence and so on..."
Jeevs though agreed was not in a mood to be deep serious about it, "Gosh! Isn't it the duty of the pair to keep that love alive. Learn that from Ekta kapoor. Though her telly serials run for years, she sees to that people don't lose their interest in it..."

The mention of the word telly changed the entire settings and suddenly both of Swat's friends disappeared and there appeared Senior Bollywood Actress Rekha announcing, "Welcome back to Love.. break-ups... zindagi..." Swats was not sure yet of what was going on and asked herself, "Am I watching a tv reality show?" And Rekha spoke as if she was answering Swats' queries, "Every week we put our agents behind a couple who have separated and try to find out whether love has really died or have they murdered the love that could have lived a longer life... In today's episode we saw the girl saying the boy has betrayed her sincere emotions and the boy saying that the girl showed hatred and contempt for him... who is speaking the truth? can they still come together?"

That put Swats in a thinking mood when suddenly she heard Rekha say, "We will get a expert opinion on this.., we will now call Swasthee or Swats as she calls herself and know her esteemed views..." and Swats' mobile rang.Confused Swats was about to pick the phone when the invisible voice said, "No Mobiles allowed inside"
Even though she didn't pick the phone, she heard herself answer, "Both were lying... Sukrutha to Jeevs and Somesha to Prads... The ego of both of them made them separate from each other... Same ego didn't wish them to see their partner with another. Sukrutha presented a feeling that depicted as if she was betrayed and that somesha is a cheater. Somesha presented himself as being always hated by Sukrutha so that Prads couldn't imagine Sukrutha as someone good and respectable..."
Then Actress Rekha ended the show with great lines which she would have copied from some facebook status message "Love is supposed to dignify us.. exalt us... How can it be love, if all it does is make us say bad things or lie about our partners - ex or current.. Does love make one lonely and corrupt?"

Suddenly Swats heard the sound of bells.She thought it was the church bell.But it wasn't!!! It was the exam bells and she heard the voice which earlier said "shhh" and "no mobiles" say in a stern voice"Exams katham honeki ganti nahi sunai dethi kya? give me the paper..." And when Swats looked outside the exit door of the exam hall, She saw Jeevs waiting for her. And as she looked out of the left window, she saw Prads waiting below at the parking lot.And when her friends asked her, "How was the Paper?" She answered, "Was I giving a Paper? I wrote about a show called love breakup the way... what exams I had today?"
Moral of the story: Never study the whole previous night of the exams... Do get some sleep

Sunday, January 8, 2012

On Location

Swats was waiting for this opportunity since her birth. She had seen this place many a times on small and big screen. She wanted to be there and witness herself the atmosphere of the place. Today, Prads was taking her to that place. And she was thankful to her samsung mobile set for giving her opportunity though it was not with her to receive the greetings.
Her mobile set was stolen with the sim card still in it and to retrieve the old sim number, she had to file a complaint at the local Police station and she thanked God for giving her an opportunity to visit the police station.

The duty officer was a lady in her early thirties and she had a wrong-doer in front of her. A young man probably a college going student. As Swats and Prads were attended by a head constable, they watched the duty officer interrogate the suspect, "Are Gansham! What's this guy done! Raped a minor? Defrauded pension holder? Into drugs?" Swats immediately looked at the constable to see his answer and the answer made her smile a bit, "Madam! That young brat sends lewd messages to aunties.... ", The young guy got pissed off and he remarked sternly, "She doesn't look like a aunt to me at all..." and suddenly a thud sound came and Prads who had his head down unwilling to see the confrontation asked Swats, "What was that sound? I presume its not a gun shot?" Swats smiled, "That's the soft hands of the lady inspector landing on the smooth cheeks of that college going lad. That's what we call 'One Tight Slap'"

The duty officer started using all kinds of cussing words," She is your teacher and she is married and has a young boy. And you disturb her peaceful life by sending her messages at night hours.. You son of a bitch!!!" and then another thud sound and questioned him, "Why did you do that? And to whom all you are sending such messages.." The boy answered with a slow voice, "She failed me in the exams... " Prads was really shocked on hearing it, "Earlier, kids used to ruin their own life if they got failed in exams. Now they have started ruining the life of one's who have failed them. This is a dangerous trend" The Inspector restrained herself from hitting but didn't restrain from usage of further cussing words, "Whats wrong with you.. Why can't you study and pass... If you can't study go and work in garage... You silly punk! You ************"

Prads saw that Swats was observing the interrogation rather than writing her complainant, "Finish it off.. I have to go to the temple..." Swasts smiled, "Comon... God will not go anywhere... He will be seated in his own place.. This is great entertainment.... I can't miss this one... Her vocabulary reminds me of captain haddock from tintin comics." The inspector asked the constable to read out the message and the constable found it hard to read the message as it was a hindi message written in english and to swats delight, he handed the mobile to her to read. Swats read out loud, "Sony has a show, 'Bade achche laghte hain'... Now tell me madam, bade kisko achche nahi lagthe..." The constable tried to control his laughter at the joke and let out a inaudible, 'Thats true'. But the inspector now was really pissed off, "Bade kissko achche nahi laghta!!!!" she took her lathi and started beating him, "I will land 'bade bade' bruises on you whole skin that your parents will fail to recognize you and they wud say, 'This is not the child born to us...'"

The violent turn somewhat made Prads uncomfortable, "Isn't that a man-handling?" Swats enjoyed it, "No! That's the way woman handles things when she gets pissed off..." To Prad's delight, the constable came to the boy's rescue and suggested the inspector to summon the boy's parents. And to their shock, the boy feared his dad more than the inspector, "No! Not my dad... Please! Not my dad... I swear I will never do like this again..."

The constable looked at him "And why shouldn't we call your parents? Would he thrash you like a waste? Or would he remove you from the college"
The boy still weeping, "Worse than that I fear. He would take the mobile away from me..."
Now the inspector had turned into kali and the constable feared for the young boy's life. The Inspector took the mobile she had already taken into custody and smashed into the ground and then smothered it with her feet and then handed him the mobile along with the broken sim card, "Lo! Anthim samskar karlo iska..." Saying so she asked the constable to put him in lock-up till his parents come up. And then she walked out of the station

Swats handed over the two copies of the complaint to the constable and turning to the boy, she said, "If you want the same sim reactivated, you need to file a police complainant. That's what I learned today..."

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Last New Year

Swasthee or Swats called Pradyumna or Prads, her senior friend exactly when the clock struck twelve times and wished him "Happy New Year"
Prads had gone to bed with a tinge of sadness and that was clear in the reply he gave" Every year has been the same to me... and I believe this year is gonna be no change"

Swats tried to cheer him up like any true friend would do, "This yr is gonna be different cos this yr is gonna be the end of all cute gals guys... I mean everyone ....on dec 21st 2012 the world ends... So live it to the best...."
That made Prads more sad, "Yeah!!! that makes matters more worse... I have not found any girl to hold hands and welcome death and say into his eyes, 'I am ready to meet my maker... Is he?" and he admonished Swats,"You called me in the middle of the night to make me sad and show how lonely I would be when death comes knocking on my door... A Big Thanks.." and he started weeping softly.
Swats had to calm him up before he woke up the entire neighbourhood, "You don't always need a lover to hold your hand romantically. When you are at the doorsteps of death it could be your bestieeeee who knows you in and out, who fools you everyday, and is with you in whatever you do....she cud be but he best person to jump off to death with..."

Prads failed to recognize the gender swats had used while refering to the besite, "all my best friends would be sitting in front of their tube with their wife stuffing eatables into their mouth and with their kids wetting their pants. And You know I have thrown my television off the balcony some years earlier... so what option have I got..."
While swats was making the phone call, jeevs or jeevitha, another of prad's very young friend, had already decided to give him a call... a personal call and she was successful in creeping into his room without his parent's knowledge. She was by his bedside and she whispered slowly into his ears, "Prads Dear! Happy new year!!!". Prads had a shock of his lifetime and he shouted like hell as if he had seen a ghost
and that woke up the entire neighborhood. Within minutes, his parents came to the scene and his father's eyes were red with anger on seeing a young girl in his unmarried son's bedroom

Prads said to swats over phone,"Your friend Jeevs is here. It seems my end is near
i don't have to wait till 21 december 2012... and seems I would be welcoming it hands in hand with a girl"
and he caught hold of jeevs hands and held it tightly... not out of love, but out of fear from seeing his fathers angry face
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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