Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Unborn

Really! Girls should never do what they are never meant to do! Now Look at Dhanya! Her experimentations had landed her to hospital! She for the first time in her seventeen years entered this place called kitchen. Moments later she is running to hospital with a bleeding finger and a worried Prem on her side.

At hospital, they were sitting in the common waiting room for the specialist to call Dhanya's name. It was then that Prem heard a angelic voice calling for help. It was yelling, "She is trying to murder me tonite! Somebody do something!" Prem looked around, but was not able to trace the origin of the voice. Dhanya helped him as she knew that always the source in such cases was something that suprises them beyond their imagination. This time, the voice came from the womb of a young girl who was resting on the same bench with her eyes closed. It took some time for them to realize that a unborn foetus inside the womb of the girl was trying to have some conversation with them. The girl was tall and slender and looked hardly nineteen and there was no sign of any seniors near her.

The foetus was looking for someone to help it out, "Help Me... Please help me... This young girl is planning to murder me.... She is gonna abort me tonight..."
Prem started conversing with rather a religious touch, "Well... I heard that God above gives every child an option to select the parents before it is sent to this world... So why in the hell did you select this girl as your mother? You should have thought of this then itself na....You should have done some background check on her and her BF responsible for this... What is the use in crying now?...."
The foetus tried to explain its stand, "How can I predict that things can happen like this? When I was showed the pair for the first time, the boy was expressing his unconditional love for her, limitless things he can do for her and so on and so on. I got fooled by it along with this silly girl. When the girl announced with a smile that she was pregnant, all his love vanished into the thin air and he got cold feet and he cooly convinced her, 'We are not prepared for this one,' What does that mean? I tell you... Boys!!!.... I have never seen any beasts like them!"
Even in her pain, Dhanya found something to be happy about, "Hey! The foetus is a girl!"

Prem felt sad for this foetus, "Don't worry? There is a lot of kindness in the heavens above with the almighty God. He will definitely find you an alternate home...."
The foetus explained as to her troubles with the God, "You don't understand the situation.. I have not received a proper reception on this world nor there would be a proper send off.. That means my soul would get stuck in-between. God, like your tall KBC host had made it clear when I selected my parents, 'Are You Sure? Do you want me to lock you in this womb?' and I never for a second doubted my selection. With what face can I go back to him?"
Dhanya interrupted with her doubt for which she got no response, "Hey! What face? A foetus develops face only during the fifth month. You definitely can't be that old. "

Prem knew that bringing the baby to the world would mean lots of trouble for the girl also, "Think about it! If she brings you into this world, You may have to live with lots of resentment. She may not be able to give you good health, happy childhood, proper education etc. I infer from what you said about her, that she could have had the cindrella syndrome. She thought that she had met her Prince charming. But that dream is shattered. And now, she doesn't have the mental make up to go out there into this cruel world and fend for herself and you."
The foetus grew angry, "You seem to be deciding everything like a God! Isn't there single mothers in this world who bring up their kids inspite of all the difficulties. I have heard many famous people who have made their names without knowing their fathers name. "
Dhanya was really impressed, "This foetus seems to have lots of wisdom. But unfortunately it doesn't know that once it lands on the planet Earth, It will lose its wisdom gradually as it grows up"

There was silence for some time and the foetus continued, "I heard people saying that, 'There may be wicked sons, but there are no wicked mothers'. But I say the reverse is true. There are wicked mothers who kill their kids even before it is born."
At the very moment a name was called and the pregnant girl stood up and made her move. The foetus was being carried to be executed. And Prem and Dhanya looked at it helplessly.

On their way back from the hospital, Prem questioned Dhanya, "I know you are not a young girl any more. At the same time you are not yet a woman. But I feel you are right to answer this question... Is it morally right for a unmarried girl to abort her unborn foetus?"

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Prem in the SWAT Valley

Prem and Dhanya were at this discourse by a Famous Swami. The discourse topic was 'How to gain control over your senses'. The Swamiji started the discourse with a small meditation exercise. He gave a small mantra, "Repeat this mantra... As you meditate on this mantra, let go of yourself and feel free.... Don't allow negative thoughts to attack your mind.... "
Dhanya was not able to pronounce that mantra properly and so she just closed her eyes and opened her ears to what Prem was chanting. Prem tried to focus his mind on his mind... (now whatever that means). But his mind roamed around and went to different places. Before he could do anything, he had landed in the new land of Talibans... The Swat Valley.... And yes, he had brought even Dhanya with him to this strange place.

When they landed there, they saw a young girl standing in front of a ruin. Dhanya looks at the building ruins, "Looks like a building of Some Centuries Back.... Probably of the buddhism era...." The girl stood up, "Hell! It is! This is our School.... The girls school.... The Taliban had just blasted it as they do in the mines...." The young girl had lost her school and all the fun. As Dhanya put her hands over the girls' shoulder, she heard a commotion. Seems a mob was gathering at some central place.

Prem and Dhanya decided to join the crowd. The young girl warned Dhanya, "If you go in that Jeans and Tops, you would be in lots of trouble." In a few minutes, Dhanya was given a new avataar by the girl. She was covered from top to bottom in a burkha. She looked angrily at Prem, "Prem.... I feel like murdering you!... I spent some good thirty minutes before the mirror preparing myself to meet some handsome and innocent god fearing hunk at the discourse avenue and you bring me here between these savages, these beasts.... and what the hell are we going to see anyway!..."
The girl answered, "Wait and Watch... You better call Prem as Bhaijaan... Here, a girl is required to be escorted either by her husband or brother.... No boyfriends"
Dhanya cleared the girl's doubts, "He is not my boyfriend... I will call him only Bhai... My Jaan is somewhere else...."

When Dhanya reached the avenue, there were many spectators. She hoped that this could be some music concert or a sports event. But to her horror, she found a young girl being dragged to the stage and then in public was accused of adultery and a sentence of 100 lashes was metted out to her. There was no fair trail nor an opportunity for the accused to speak. As Everyone watched, a giant of a man started lashing her without any sign of humanity and no one in the crowd dared to voice against the injustice. Everyone was a mute spectator and only listened to the her gasps, her moans and her painful cries for help. Dhanya couldn't tolerate a bit, "Prem take me out of here... double quick... Remember.... I didn't sit for the entire movie of The Passion of Christ.... I couldn' see the lashing of Lord Christ... How can I sit through this one... "

Before it was too late, Prem was already back in the avenue. And he looked at Dhanya. Dhanya was sweating profusely. Thats when swamiji was telling them, " If you meditate properly, you will experience Yoga Nidra. That is a state of incredible calmness, quiteness and clarity." Dhanya slowly hissed at Prem, "What the hell is talking about? I was getting nightmares that too in broad daylight....while I was meditating!"
Prem was very cool in answering her, "Well! Why don't you try again? This time around you may experience the calmness...."
But Dhanya had already stood up and just walked out. She had enough of meditation for a day.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lost and Found

At the deserted bus stand, waiting for Prem, Dhanya looked around and found a mobile lying at the corner. No one was there to claim its ownership. She dialed the number stored as Home and a voice of a fifty-something lady confirmed that the mobile belonged to her accountant son Suman. But he was not at home and was expected only after half an hour. Dhanya decides to idle away the time reading some of the messages from the mobile.
After some time, Prem's Indica stopped before her, "Girl! Are we moving directly to home...."
Dhanya corrected him immediately, "No! We are going to No 12, Port Colony. I presume its on the way...."
Prem demanded an explanation, "Is it a matter of national security?"
Dhanya looked enthusiatic, "Worse than that! Its a matter of two hearts! You will not belive it! I found a mobile belonging to a young man Suman at the Bus Stand and it has nearly 500 messages in the inbox and the sent folder and all to and from a single girl.... It seems that God has given me a duty to see that their romantic conversations continues without any hassles...."

Prem obliged but had his own reservations, "If he gets the mobile tomorrow, you could have given his hands some rest and even some productive man hours from him to his family and the nation...."
But Dhanya was not listening.... she was busy reading the message, "Listen to this christmas message sent by this dude, Prem! ......If one night ♥A fat man comes ♥And stuffs you in a bag ♥... don't freak! ♥ I told Santa ♥ I wanted YOU for Christmas. :) ... Wasn't that chooo..... chweet"
Prem was listening to her and at the same time had one eye on the heavy evening traffic, "What! He is toying with the idea of stuffing his girl in a gunny bag and then having it parceled to his address and you say it is sweet....It looks like a horror movie script to me."

Dhanya wanted to forward some of the messages, "Prem! Listen to this message. 'When I first saw you I was afraid to meet you, when I first met you I was afraid to kiss you, when I first kissed you I was afraid to love you, but now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you.'"
Prem thought that is was another of silly love messages, "Now! Now! What Kind of Phobia is this? Is there any name for it?"
Dhanya was a bit irritated and that was natural of her, "No! Its not a phobia. It means he is involved or rather he's committed! Involved or committed....Both are same na..."
Looking at the muddy road ahead, Prem commented," No Girl. There is difference. Remember reading it somewhere. The difference can be best explained using a bacon and egg breakfast as an example: The chicken is involved but the pig is committed."

So this went on for the rest of the journey.... Dhanya read the messages loud and Prem kept teasing them. After some time, they reached the destination and meet Suman at the entrance itself. What Dhanya expected was a cheerful young man, but what she found was a diluted younger version of Devdas. There was not a sign of happiness on the face of Suman on getting his mobile back. He didn't even utter a simple thanx. Prem couldn't control himself asking, "Aren't you happy on getting your lost mobile back?."
Suman's reply took both of them by surprise, "Lost! I didn't lose this mobile nor it was stolen from me. I am just returning after discarding it.... But like a Cat, it has found its way back into my life...."
Prem wanted an answer, "Why in the hell would you discard your own mobile just like that?"

Suman answered rather with pain, "Because I associate Pain with it... It brings back haunting memories of the good times, I had with my girlfriend. The beautiful romantic conversations we had. It has been more than three months that I have estranged from her. But whenever the mobile beeps, I always jump hoping its her. I can't even order my fingers to delete all her messages in the Inbox. So I decided its time to discard the mobile and move along... But seems It wants to torment me continuously and forever"
Prem tried to comfort him, "Nothing can cause you Pain without you permitting it to.... It is always self inflicted....."
Suman didn't want a discourse from some stranger, "I don't know what you know about Pain... But I am experiencing Pain. And that Pain which is caused when someone you know becomes someone you knew...". Without wasting a time, Suman moved inside his house with the mobile.
Prem turned around to see Dhanya. She had already taken her seat in the car and for the rest of the return journey, she remained silent with a disappointed look on her face.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

All That She Wants!

Jaggu!!!... Looked like the name of a movie ruffian. But that was the name of Prem's partner for the on-site project ( and for this project they were in a small hamlet).... actually Jaggu was short for Jagadish.
It has been days since Prem had a good night's sleep. Now he was sleeping as if dead to the entire world. On the other hand, his room-mate Jaggu, suffered from bitter pangs of separation from his young wife with whom he had a fight before he left the house. After quite a struggle with his thoughts, even unbroken sleep reigned over him. But somewhere very far away from that place, Jaggu's young wife Jahanvi sweetly called Jaanu was not able to get even a wink of sleep. So she decided to have a online chat with her sweet hubby and find out whether she was still angry with him.

Prem who was enjoying a good night's sleep suddenly heard a ping sound. Prem woke up and saw Jaggu's laptop on and a message beeping on the screen, "Jaggu.... Are you there?" It was Jahnavi in the Chat room. Prem looked at Jaggu and saw him deep asleep and decided against waking him up. Somehow, he got the devilish thought of becoming Jaggu and chatting with the young wife.

He found himself typing the words smoothly, "Yeah.... Honey! Jaggu at your service....."
Jaanu's romantic words started flowing, "Darling.... I presume you are still angry with me..."
Prem was definitely unaware of the reason for the fight, but couldn't resist the temptation of becoming a poet and answering the question, "No way... Honey...Signals are too weak over here.. I tried to send the message to you with that dark cloud... But It released a branching lightning bolt that nearly hit me..... I tried my luck with the pigeons. They refused saying they have stopped providing such services to mobile users...."

Jaanu was smiling, "Then what about my request ? Are you thinking of giving it a re look?"
Prem was clueless of the request but still continued the game, "Darling, Can I say no to you... Even if I have said No, it may have come only from my mouth and not from my heart...."
Jaanu was delighted by the response, " Then you are saying YES!!!"
Prem definitely didn't knew where this was leading, " We will both work on it together....!"

Jaanu was becoming shy, "Yeah! We both need to put our efforts. You alone cannot achieve it..."
Prem thought that couple was planning something big like a House or a Car, "I always need your support. Remember the song...Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye... Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz..."
Jannu was excited, "I didn't knew you will change your mind so early...."
Prem knew this was not correct, but believed in what the Siddhartha Basu, the quizmaster used to say, 'I have started it.... so i will finish it....' and so continued answering, "I don't have a separate mind Now... It works in unison with yours... darling...."
Prem praised himself on his beautiful words...

But the next question left him speechless... rather wordless, "Would you like it a girl or a boy?"
Prem found himself stuttering like SRK, "Wh.... whattt.....?"
Jaanu cleared his doubts, "Our child?..... would you like a baby boy or a baby girl...."
So Prem never expected that what Jahanvi wanted from her husband was a child. This was a very sacred topic between a husband and a wife and Prem found himself in a very embarrassing situation...."You definitely cannot ask me this question....."
Jaanu didn't knew what was happening, "And may I know why not?"
Prem found himself hard to explain, "Because...... Its not in the hands of the humans.... Its all God's wish..."

Before she could put her next question, Prem just logged out of the chat room. But he couldn't sleep... Decided to play some song online and the song being played was apt for the situation, "All that she wants is another baby....." by Ace of Base.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Respect the Signal!

Someone said to Prem, "If you talk to God, it is religious. But if God talks to you then you are psychotic. " So Prem started avoiding God lest people term him psychotic. But God is omnipresent and even he is present in the small inanimate objects. Prem learnt this lesson that day at the traffic signal. Maybe it was not God, but the incident made Prem come to the conclusion life did exist in certain inanimate objects.
That day, Dhanya was giving him a treat. And the treat was the latest horror flick 13B at the Adlabs. But the smooth journey in the hired taxi came to a sudden halt as the traffic signal at one of the junctions turned Red. The annoyed driver suddenly applied the brake and started cursing the traffic signal, "Shit! This Silly Traffic Signal... Always turns Red when I near it." He excused himself to get a pack of Cigarettes, "Don't worry. The signal will change only after two minutes..."

As he went out of sight, a rough but a sober voice filled the air, "No.... I will not change...." Prem looked around and couldn't find a body to associate with the voice. He looked at Dhanya. Nothing surprised Dhanya when she was with Prem, "Yeah... I too hear the mystic Voice.... No Surprise... We are partners now in these strange adventures..." Prem really didn't want to further the conversation, " Whosever this voice is... If You don't change.... what's it to me?" The voice answered very angrily, "If I don't change, You People can't move. Even If you do, it would result in a disaster... I am the voice of the traffic signal...."
Dhanya looked at Prem, "Comon! Now This is the limit! Even traffic signals start talking to you? You will drive me crazy!" Prem tried to maintain his cool and asked the voice, "What's the problem? Why are you in such a mood?" The traffic signal started opening its soul to Prem, " I am very sad at how people react to me. I control the traffic so as to help the people and to avoid chaos. But they curse me even worse than the bad men of the movies do, whenever I change to Red.....Why?"

Prem tried to comfort, "No Baba... Not all complain. Look at that small angel sitting on her mothers lap at the back of that Bajaj Scooter. She is enjoying the standstill brought about by You and asking her father some inquisitive questions. You are making her brain work...."
The girl was asking her father some great questions, "Why is the steering wheel of the bus on the right side ? Why do you wear a helmet and not me?........."
Dhanya looked at the kid and referring to Prem's statement, "Yeah... And the Father must be begging with God for the traffic signal to change so that he can save his brain for some office work also..."

Prem looked at her angrily and then at the signal, " Look at the elderly gentleman in his Maruthi. You have given him an opportunity to meditate on the Almighty." Truly... the elderly gentleman had taken out the rudraksh mela and started chanting.
Dhanya had to comment, she couldn't control herself, "Suppose God gets pleased with him and makes a appearance...and suddenly the signal turns Green...what happens?...God gets run over by the vehicles...Ha Ha Ha"

Prem was very angry at Dhanya and with a intent to irritate it, Prem gave another example to the signal, " Look at the young lass in the TV Scooty.... Her Face tells it all.... She is taking this opportunity given by you to send sweet nothings to her beau over the mobile...."
Dhanya looked at the lass and then at Prem, "Hey! Since when did you start reading faces ? And whenever a girl messages, should it always be to her boyfriend? I don't like this kind of generalisation coming from you..."

Prem smiled at her as if to say sorry for hurting her girly sentiments and then turning to the traffic signal, " Well.... Mr Signal... Traffic Signal....Point is.... It is left to individual of how he uses the time available to him.... even if it is two minutes at the signal...If he doesn't make productive use, they are only responsible.... You don't bother about these silly people who always are in find of people or reasons to empty the garbage of their mind......"
Mr Traffic Signal was somehow comforted by these words, "Yeah.... I now remember reading... 'A minute spent in anger is sixty seconds of happiness lost'..." Prem was suprised, "You too read?" The voice replied, "Not like you humans... I don't read newspapers or novels.... I read this line on her rear end..."
Prem and Dhanya were shocked together and cried out, "HER REAR END!"
Mr Trafffic Signal corrected them, "When I said HER, I meant that courier vehicle that passes via this route every day.... You dirty minds!!...Just Get out of here....", Saying so, he changed the signal to Green.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Sweet Girl's Horror Story

"Television Set, Video tape, Camera, Car.... everything and anything can be possessed by Ghosts...." said the sweet innocent voice. It was Dhanya and it was vacation time for her. She had found the best way to spend the vacation - read horror novels and watch gory movies. And now she carried the idea of writing one. Prem advised her to think creatively and out of the box.
Just then, Prem's mother announced the arrival of the young insurance agent Varun. Prem remembered some unfinished business of signing policy papers and told mother to send him upstairs.

"Eureka!", cried Dhanya, "I have got the concept - Insurance Policy!". Prem wanted to hear more about it. As she was beginning her story, Varun made his entry, "There was this young orphan Varun who studied in the esteemed business school. For his daily bread and butter, he sold insurance policies. He also had a love interest, a sweet innocent girl called....", Dhanya paused for a moment and looked at Varun. Varun with a shy smile, "Varsha....." Dhanya liked the name, "Varsha! Sweet name... Varun and Varsha goes well together...", Saying so she continued with her story, "Everything was sailing smoothly for Varun until one day......."

Varun took his eyes away from the papers that Prem was signing and looked at Dhanya, "What!"
Prem looked at the shocked Varun, "Did you think you were in a romantic novel. That girl looks very sweet.... but she is writing a horror novel...."
Now, Dhanya's eyes got bigger, "Unforeseen events start happening.... People start falling dead... People who had taken policies from Varun... even before they have paid their first premium..."
Varun was getting irritated and objected, "I hope this has not gone for the Print? I don't want my policyholders and prospective customers to read this"
Dhanya was not listening, "Each die a gory death. Gorier than those in The Final Destination." Varun requested Prem to sign the Papers quickly so that he can move out.

Dhanya was not to be stopped, "Varun decides to investigate. He finds that the cause behind all the gory deaths is Varsha..."
Varun gave a little smile, "Comon, she can't even slap me properly, How can she be responsible for so many deaths? Your story flops here!"
Dhanya had picked up the traits of a good storywriter, "Listen completely. I said Varsha was the cause... and not she was the killer. During her graduation, Varsha had a handsome boyfriend...." Varun raised his fists as if to hit Dhanya, "This is too much... I am Varsha's first and last love...." Dhanya just looked at him and calmed him down, "Dheeraj....Its only fiction!" and then continued, "Dheeraj was his name. He was the heir to a big business house which went down in a fire. Then his uncle along with a insurance agent killed Dheeraj and made merry with the insurance money. So the ghost of Dheeraj wanted to see that Varsha didn't end up with a Insurance Agent and so had requested 'The Death' to end the life of all of Varun's policy holders....."

Varun had enough of this and taking the papers from Prem prepared to leave. Dhanya's next words made him stop and listen to the story, "But there is the surprise. One of the policy holders is Varsha also. Now Dheeraj realizes his folly and how selfish he had been. While he prepares to request THE DEATH to leave Varsha and others, Varun must see that death doesnot come near to her... And he does.. And they lived happily.... until the sequel arrives"

Varun now a bit soothed down, "Listen! The story is in a very bad taste. It doesn't suit you..."
Just then they heard a deafening sound from a neighbor's house. Varun looked outside the window, "It's coming from Uncle Keshavan's house!. He is one of my policyholder!!!....."


Guys and Gals.....My Blog is a year old today.... I loved my stay here.... Love you one and all.... Keep your comments flowing... And I will try to keep on writing and improving....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Morning Prayers - 2

Yet Again!.... Prem was forced to pay a visit to the holy shrine during the wee hours of the morning. As he prostrated before the God, he heard the divine voice announce, "Congratulations!!! You are the millionth visitor to the temple. As a tradition, I have to bestow a surprise gift upon you.You have earned for yourself 'A free wish'."
Prem looked at the God's Statue with disbelief, "Oh God! You too have succumbed to using cheap gimmicks for luring people..."
God gave one of his trademark divine smile, "No! No! No!. I thought people would better understand if I speak to them in their own commercial language."

Prem was preparing to wish for some of the beautiful things in the world, when God read his thoughts, "Prem Beta! Not so fast.", God cleared his throat,"There are some conditions and rules. To be precise, three rules. First, you can't ask the wish for your own benefits directly or indirectly. Secondly, the beneficiary of the wish should be a lady....."
Prem broke God's flow of thoughts as he couldn't control himself finding fault with his God, "Why are you so biased against Men and so much in favor of the fairer sex?"
God made himself clear, "Its not that I am biased. Its because ladies are more near to me as they have the gift of creation...."

Prem knew that he can't win the argument with the God and so decided to stick to his free wish, "Okay!! I have listened to such arguments before! Here is my wish. I wish that My Mother live a long life with good health and free from anxiety and worries. Yeah! Thats it. A simple and a easy wish"
God went into a meditating mood and returned with a answer, "Hmmm! A mother always thinks twice... once for herself and once for her children. As you are the one who is with your mother for most of the time, this wish would definitely benefit you directly and have a profound positive impact on you and your future. So Technically speaking, I am not in a position to grant this wish"
Prem couldn't believe what he was hearing and he shouted at the God, "This is preposterous!!!!."
God smiled, "NOTHING DOING. A rule is a rule. Think of someone else..."

Prem decided to finish off this wishing business at the earliest, "Ok.... I wish that my Sister becomes a ideal mother and will be able to give the best of education and life to her kids and make them the moral citizens...."
God shook his head violently, "Prem! You have not understood my rules. See if we use some statistical techniques and see into the future, there are some probabilities that your sister's kids may turn advantageous to you....if not directly."
Prem was disappointed a lot, "And may I know how you arrive at that conclusion...."
God tried to explain it like a teacher, "There is every chance that your sister's kid may become your son-in-law in the future or your nephew may end up in charge of your business or profession."
Prem couldn't digest this, "You are the most calculating person....err.... soul....I have ever met!"

Prem made one more attempt at the wish and this time he used Simran's name, rather without his own knowledge, "I wish that Simran gets a good lifepartner and all the happiness in her life.."
Now God looked a bit confused, "You could have asked for something for your neighbor Dhanya or for your younger sister Poorni, I would not have said NO. But Simran! I know she is your ex-girlfriend.... that's how you humans address rite! EX-GIRLFRIEND! I feel that it's a very bad way! .... But! What do you get by wishing for her ?"
Prem smiled back, "Is this a trick question? If I answer, I will not get my wish!!!...."
God had a stern face, "I am not joking, Prem. See... granting a wish blindly creates more problems and my counterparts have learnt their lessons from scoundrels like Ravan, Bhasmasur etc. Think about it! If Simran still feels that for her, happiness means you and you alone, granting your wish may mean, you ending up with her for the entire lifetime! On the other hand, you have firmly decided as to never return to her. To put it in simple terms, there would be conflict of interests. Prem! Listen to me! I know U are finding it difficult. But You have to learn to let go!"

Prem for the first time that day found some wisdom in the words of the almighty, "Okay... Now... whom can i wish for....."
God interrupted, "No one! You never allowed me to mention the third rule initially... You were busy judging me....You had only three chances and you have wasted all the three chances.... Bye... and better luck next time...."
And thus saying so, God vanished into thin air, not even giving a chance for Prem to complain.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Morning Prayers

The temple stood at the corner of his colony and that day Prem was there at the onset of the dawn. His Mother wanted him to, so that he can seek God's blessing and see himself through tough times. A devotional hymn was being played which was asking Lord Vishnu to get up from his sleep. Listening to the song, Prem thought, "And Here I am, even before the God has woken up. I hope he wouldn't be angry with me for coming so early..."
The temple had a deserted look....Even the priest was not to be seen... There was another guy... .... a man in what looked like dhothis... it was still more traditional with the sacred white belt hanging around his shoulder. He was not circling around the sanctum, but rather sitting in the corner and pondering over something. Prem thought, "Lets do the rounds after the Suprabhatham Chanting is completed." Thinking so, Prem went and sat near the Brahmin and said, 'Any problem..."

That Brahmin was waiting for some ears, "Every day in the early morning..... I had these two young devotees.... Sneha and Bhavana....Both were young at heart and both were in love"
Prem wanted to burst out, "... Oh God... Not again Love....You better call that self proclaimed love doctor who gives his silly advices late at night on that FM channel "
But the Brahmin continued, "Sneha was a modern girl and even to the temple she came in her Jeans... Well, to be honest, she looked quite cute in it... She fell in love with this young man over the net and followed it with phone calls and messages...While Bhavana fell for her simple neighbor whom she introduced to her friends and family. She helped this young struggling friend of her and was with him in his difficult times and got herself emotionally attached. And yes Bhavana wore very traditional know sarees and chudhidars"
Prem didn't like this remarks on dresses... "Whats with you and dresses? Stop judging the attire and continue with the story"

The brahmin continued to tell his story in the same fashion as he would read the Bhagawad Gita, "Well... as usual... love was met with adversaries.... For Sneha, Parents from both sides opposed. Sneha was a confident girl and planned to elope with her lover... Run away!... and guess they had planned to marry here in my presence and then run away... And for Bhavana, the boy's father was the only person who stood against the reunion. Bhavana tried her best to convince her man... But he turned to be coward who dared not to raise his voice against his father... He turned to be man without any bhavanas (feelings).... And she too came here to curse me...."
Prem had heard his friends say of how modern priests were accused of not saying their mantras properly, "Well ... Seems you have failed to convey her messages...."

The Brahmin was insulted, but he bounced back a bit mildly, "Convey!!!... I didn't get you... Anyway the D-Day arrived for Sneha... The couple came here to get married and get my blessings... and I was prepared to bless them....But alas, their parents caught them and decided to reconcile and thus had their marriage fixed in a big hall... that is day after tomorrow...."
Prem felt' sad' for the Brahmin, "Poor fellow... You must have a lost a good amount of Dakshine (Offerings)...."
The Brahmin ignored the silly comment and continued, "And Bhavana....The girl came and complained, 'I had kept so many vraths and offered so many prayers and all went deaf ears!!!...I feel you don't know anything about Love!!!.'"
Prem, "Lucky you! ... Bhavana didn't ask for any reimbursements.... "

The Brahmin continued, not commenting on Prem's puns, "Now both the girls have stopped coming to the temple. One because she is too happy and too busy. And another, because she is too sad.."
Prem had enough of this, "Look I don't get you... Whats your problem?... U have done your duty... Its too early too say that Either Sneha or Bhavana have received or not received the God's grace.... There is more of the life they have yet to see. Sneha may be happy and Bhavana may be sad.... and therefore they may convey their respective feelings to the God.... but down the lane.... say after three or five years... feelings may change...the one who thanked may complain and one who complained may thank.....and NOW U SIT IN YOUR SEAT AND GIVE ME THE PRASADAM..."
The brahmin looked at the priest's seat and smiled at Prem, "Thats not my seat..."
Prem smiled back, "Ok... then you too are waiting for the prasadam?"
Brahmin gave a smile, "Do I look like I am waiting for anybody's prasadam or blessing?"
Prem tried to guess one last time, "Then you must be one of the trustees... worried about the Hundi(Temple Box) collections"
The brahmin arose, "Thats not my job... My Job is to listen to my devotees and console them... I sit inside there..." and pointed to the garbha gudi(the sanctum sanctorium.)
Prem looked inside and then at the brahmin... The brahmin had disappeared... With a mystified look, Prem looked at the God's Statue, "OMG!!! Was it really you!!! Why did you tell me all this?"

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Fool's Paradise

There was this old man who always wanted someone to talk with during a journey, irrespective of the place or the time. He didn't care whether the listener was a young kid or a deaf lady. But that day, he learn't his lesson and he think ed twice, before striking a conversation with a stranger.

That day the septuagenarian was sitting in the last seat of the bus along with Prem. As Prem looked out of the window, he saw a young kid practicing cricket in the hot sun, much against his mothers' wishes.
The old man decided that it was the right time to strike a conversation,"Its vacation time and time for the kids to fool their parents..."
But Prem turned around and what caught his eyes was the newspaper in the old man's hands and the headlines of a local politician filing his nomination papers, "And also its election time and time for politicians to fool the masses. Think how people can buy such promises like bringing Indian Swiss Bank money back into India. Well.... Some Shepherds.... these politicians...."

The senior citizen was not in favor of speaking about political issues in the public. So he tried to change the topic, when he caught a glimpse of Prem's ID, " When is your company going to declare the results. Usually its before April that many corporates come out with the results, rite?. The fate of many companies would be known in few days..."
Prem didn't allow the old man to complete the sentence,"Corporates. Another bunch who sell dreams to the young minds and then fool them. They take you into the organization saying about team work and family etc etc. But when the tough time comes, they just put the pink slip into your hands and have their hands clean. And well.. the big brains who take such tough decisions... take home a hefty bonus."

The old man was really confused. Has he disturbed Prem's mind. He decided to soothe Prem, when he heard a romantic song 'Aankhon ne Tumhare Meeti Batoon ne... Meri Neend Udhayi' (Your eyes and your sweet words have destroyed my sleep), "But.... whatever you say... there is no special season for love. It can be enjoyed in every season...and throughout the year...."
Now, this irritated Prem and he replied in a cold fashion, "Grandpa!... The lovers fool each other all around the year with sweet nothings. They not only fool the others but also fool them self. Someone truly said.... LOVE means Two Vowels, Two consonants and Two Fools. With mobiles and internet, the task is made very simple. Send good quotes every morning and every night and end it with love you or sweet dreams. Fooling young and naive hearts has been made DAMN EASY IN THIS INFORMATION AGE."

The old man had enough conversation and preferred to listen to the Radio Jockey for the rest of the journey rather than Prem.
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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