Friday, January 30, 2009

The Memorable Evening

Oh.... These entrance exams does not allow the students to enjoy the life...not even the Sundays. That Sunday evening, Dhanya was stuck with her books inside her study room. For Prem, his neighbor's house looked more like a prison. He somehow wanted to get Dhanya out of her prison at least for two hours and enjoy the Sunday evening.

At that juncture, he heard a cute voice speak, "Should I help you?" Prem looked around to find a small elf like creature in his front yard. For Prem, the creature looked like a small playful child trapped in a adult body. The creature introduced himself, "I am a Yaksha (a celestial being). I am out on a parole and was wandering when I heard your call for help. " Prem was pinching himself hard to check whether he was dreaming or not.
The Yaksha continued, "Do you want me to get your princess out of that fortress?" Prem quickly corrected him, "She is not my princess or something like that. She is just a very good friend and not a girl friend. " The yaksha commented on the life of the humans, "You humans are so confusing. You sometimes call your love interest as girlfriend and sometimes fiance and sometimes mistress but very rarely as a wife.... "

Yaksha was ready to provide his services voluntarily, 'Lets make the atmosphere colorful. Tell me Mr Prem, what are the different colors in the rainbow?" Prem was getting embarrassed as he didn't knew the answer. Yaksha asked him to get a CD and showed Prem the rainbow colors that got reflected on the CD. Then he took the colors by one sweep of his hand and threw it upward into the sky. In the next moment a rainbow appeared on the sky and the children on street leaped with joy. That's when the prison windows was opened.

Yaksha looked at Prem and said, "You humans always have a song for every moment rite. Well sing a song for this." Prem again found himself searching for a song. The search program of his mind was still displaying the hourglass icon. Yaksha asked Prem to hand him the laptop and then he gave a search with the keyword Sham (Evening) in the music folder and Voila! he got a great Kishore Kumar number. Instead of playing it in the Media Player, he just copied it and pasted it on the mouths of the young souls driving their bicycles there.The kids suddenly started singing melodiously in chorus, "Yeh Sham Mastani... Madahosh Kiya Jaa..." Thats when the tired eyes of Dhanya got drifted away from the books for a moment and she enjoyed the song with her closed eyes.

Yaksha said, "Now the grand finale...The template is just right with the background and music. Now some widgets to be added" Next moment, some young girls who gathered around the corner started giggling. The elderly ladies grouped together and were literally tearing apart a absent soul, whose name was not clear. A newly married couple sat in their balcony and started exchanging sweet nothings.
Dhanya couldn't resist the temptations any further. A magnetic pull was compelling her to know the reason for the giggling of those girls. The unknown soul of whom these known neighbors were speaking had to be found out. She wanted to capture the image of the romantic couple in her eyes. She threw the books and just came dashing out of her room into the open air. The prisoner has finally revolted and got her short freedom

But the Yaksa's freedom was short lived. Police from his world came down immediately and handcuffed him and put him onto their chariot. When Prem protested, the chief of that police yelled out, "We have got a FIR from Goddess of Education that this yaksha has been messing up with the studies of one of her devotees. This Yaksha has successfully diverted the mind of that young soul from her studies" Prem thought that it was a bit harsh, "No one recognises good work these days, not even celestial beings and goddesses."

But for the next two hours, Dhanya completely forgot about the studies and immersed herself in enjoying the evening.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Crime and Punishment

The bounty hunter did as he was instructed. He had completed the assignment and was bringing the catch. Usually he caught Hi-fi criminals like embezzling accountants, computer hackers etc. This time around, the catch or the trash (as the bounty hunter likes to call them) was a guy who had mishandled girls at a restaurant in the name of protecting heritage and tradition of India. The delivery was to be done to a stadium which the bounty hunter never knew ever existed. He was also instructed to tie the trash to a cross which was erected in the center of the stadium. The guy was not to be crucified.

The arena looked like something from the erstwhile Roman empire. As soon as he tied the trash to the cross and connected him with mikes, the floodlights came up. The stadium suddenly got noisy. The bounty hunter looked around and he saw thousands of girls all around the stadium. They have not come to see a rock performance nor Johny Abraham tear his shirts. They wanted to punish the trash and teach the so called protectors of heritage. The stadium was full house.

Then there was an announcement, "Welcome to the crowd. Welcome, Mr Heritage Protector. The crowd here has gathered to get some answers from you...." It was Simran, the organizer of the event. It was she who had hired the bounty hunter to deliver the 'Heritage Protector'.
The 'Heritage Protector' just yelled at them all, "You will never be able to grasp the situation. As a human being and being a man brought up by traditions, I can't stand acts of indecency. Its the reason we charged on that building where guys and girls drank liquor and were behaving in a obscene manner."
One of the girls shouted at him , "Bull shit! If you really want to take up such a cause, go and target those video shops which rent out unrated movies"
Another girl corrected her "I bet you. If you search him, you will find the membership card of such a library. "

The trash was not the one to be silenced, "Its the influence of the western culture that has to be prevented. We are the upholders of our tradition and culture. We are the soldiers of Ram's Army!"
One of the girls just takes a good look at him and says, "Yeah! During that period and even now, Ram's Army seems to consist of only monkeys..."
The other girl continued, "At least those monkeys had some respect for the ladies.... these doesn't seem to have any..."

Simran didn't want to further delay the action, "Lets not waste time on his stupid beliefs and theories. Its not the stage for him to promote himself. Lets think of the way we can punish him. "
Many girls had beautiful suggestions.... 'Lets make him strip dance in that same place', came one suggestion, while another, 'Lets be a little nice and send him to guantanamo bay where he can enjoy the company of like minded people'

But Simran had big plans, "Lets not give him silly punishments. We need to give him, such a deadly punishment that he and his comrades will never forget. At the same time, we are known to be the fair sex filled with lovely emotions. Lets live up to that one. A lovely thought came to me when I read Colleen McCullough's The Thorn Birds..."
Everybody listened with full ears as Simran's tone changed a bit, "She has said about a legend of a thorn bird which impales itself upon the longest sharpest spine and lets out its one and only superlative song before it dies. This guy is not a thorn bird or nor with such a great heart. But Lets make him experience some extreme pain. Lets tie him around such a savage tree with his favorite robe and allow the sharp long spines to penetrate deep into him and slowly suck his blood away. Let him experience some real physical pain." All votes went for that treatment and the stage was set for the execution.

The bounty hunter just took out his dairy and marked it as the day to be remembered in his 20 years career as bounty hunter. This trash turned out to be the best catch he ever had.

As the bounty hunter closed his dairy, so did the editor finished her reading. She was reading the above story submitted by Simran for her magazine. The editor after thinking a bit shook her head, "Can't publish this." Disappointed Simran looked at the blunt face of the editor looking for some good reasons for rejection. The lady editor was still shaking her heads as she answered, "This will hurt the sentiments of male readers of the magazine."
For some seconds there was silence. Then both of them laughed together. The story was for a leading women's magazine.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Scumbag Billionaire ?

Prem had to make arrangements to transport (thats the word he wanted to use) his aunt's daughter to the temple city nearby. The girl named Arpitha had some offerings to be given to some God. Arpitha was a young lady who rarely spoke and if she did, it was something senseless. Prem's old neighbour and a police chief, Ali volunteered to take them early morning as he had a job next day to transport a popular convict in his personal vehicle so as to avoid public and the media attention.
Thus Prem started the journey with this strange girl and a gentleman prisoner whom Ali loved to call Scumbag Billionaire. Prem found the convict and Arpitha similar as both of them rarely opened their mouths. Ali briefed them up on the convicts history. The convict had duped the investors and bankers of their hard earned money. In that small town, he had promised to bring a software revolution and he did. The employees and the investors revolted against him and now he was in handcuffs. He was being transported to the bigger Bellary Jail.

At that time, Prem's mobile rang. It was from one of the private FM channels. The RJ seemed to be overexcited as she announced in a high pitch, "Mr Prem, You have been selected to win two tickets to the Sunday show of Slumdog Millionaire. All you have to do is to answer these three simple questions. You are really lucky sir..."
Prem wanted to comment, 'Yeah! Really lucky. On a sunday morning, when I should be in the bed forgetting that the world existed, here I am on a bumpy road in this cold weather with a tough cop, a soft criminal and a strange girl.... and to add to this... irritating voice of yours' But he just blurted out in a mood less manner, "Shoot out the questions"

The RJ who liked to call herself a adorable girl, started the question and answer session,"First Question. Who wrote Hanuman Chalis? Those chalis stanzas...I hope you know them....." Prem had heard about them but knew very less about Hanuman and the chalis stanzas, "If you ask me about Alibaba and his chalis theives, I could tell something, but ...." At that point the convict took a very small and thin book from his pocket and handed it to Prem, "Hanuman Chalis by Tulsidas. It had helped me to overcome many obstacles in my business deals..." There was the answer to the RJ's question.
Ali had this sarcastic remark for the convict's answer "Seems like you used your God as an unwilling partner in your crime deeds."
And Arpita... she had already started chanting Hanuman chalisa with her closed eyes.

The RJ moved towards the next question, "Are you ready for the next question ? Who is the largest employer in the world ?... I know its a bit hard... So I give you two choices.... The Indian Railways or the Mumbai Underworld...".
Prem was about to ask, 'Whether she earlier worked on rolls for the mumbai underworld', but answered, "Indian Railways." At that moment, the convict laughed loudly, "Had they given a chance, I would have beaten that record.... "
Ali came forward to explain to Prem, "On records, he shows 1000 employees. But when we went there, we found 500 only. What happened to others?" Arpitha just erupted without warning, "OMG! Ethnic Cleansing?" Ali shouted, "Ethnic Cleansing! That's a stupid thing to say. He is not Taliban or Saddam, he is a CEO of a software company. He showed dummy employees on the payroll", then like a thinking man, Ali continued, "And don't equate job cuts with ethnic cleansing."

RJ proceeded, "We will move to the last question. Name the movie starring Junior Big B and directed by Mani Ratnam which was about a businessman who uses unethical means to succeed in business...." The RJ also added, "I personally like those last few minutes when he fights back..... Any Guesses"
The convict just imitated Abhishek as he spoke the dialogs from the movie, "Agar paisa ban sakta tha, to main ne banaya hai.Lekin sirf apne liye nahi , apne 30 lakhs shareholders ke liye bhi. (Wherever there was a opportunity to make money, I had cashed on the same. But not for myself, but for my 30 lakh shareholders). Truly said by Gurukanth Desai or Guru"
Thus the answer to the 3rd question was also given,while Ali remarked in a very thoughtful manner, "If we were to put all people who use unethical means behind bars, then I think we have to build a fence around planet earth itself"
And Arpita was humming a song from the movie Guru and that too the same line repeatedly, " Ta Ra Rum, Ta Ra Mast Mast / Ta Ra Rum, Ta Ra Rum, Ta Ra Mast Mast / Ta Ra Rum, Ta Rum Pum / Ta Rum Pum..." . It continued till the vehicle reached their destination.

As they got down, the convict had a special request to Prem, "Do also Pray for me." Prem replied back,"Yes, I will pray. But not for you. I will pray for your investors and employees...."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Rendezvous with the Goddess

Prem had been to this tiny hamlet somewhere in the hilly region of South Karnataka. He stayed with his old friend Dharam. Dharam had never studied beyond matriculation. He was the one who believed that everything happens only as per Amma's wishes. Amma to him meant the hometown goddess, Durga.
Dharam carried with him the legend handed over by his ancestors of how Amma roamed the streets after the sun sets and punished the wrong doers of the village. He told Prem that even today on friday nights she goes for patrolling around the village. It was ten o' clock in the night and Prem decided to check the authenticity of the story and asked Dharam to accompany him.

Unwillingly, Dharam ventures with Prem into the chilling night and they sat under the famous Peepal tree hoping for some action. It was after half an hour that Prem heard the sounds of footsteps. When they opened their eyes, they saw a young lady clad in a red saree walking towards them. Prem felt a little chill down his bones. Dharam was fully convinced that she was 'Amma'. When Prem asked for the proof, Dharam pointed at the bare foot of the 'goddess' and the black hair that had been let down and added, 'Mythology calls the young form of Amma as Shodeshi (One of sixteen years age)'.
Prem thought for a minute, 'Even if mallika sherawat had appeared before them that night, Dharam would have accepted her as his goddess'

Before their 'goddess' could address them, Dharam immediately prostrated before her and started asking for forgiveness for spying on her. There seemed to be a confusion in the Goddess eyes as she quickly forgave her devotee. The Goddess asked her devotee Dharam for the address of one Somashekar Rao. Prem hissed his doubts slowly into Dharam's ears, "If she is a goddess, she should be knowing the address herself." Dharam was ready with an answer, "She has come down in the form of a sixteen year old village belle. What do you expect from her? To carry with her a GPS receiver! " Dharam volunteered to show the direction.

The 'goddess' seemed to be too much in a thinking mood. Prem passed on his observations to Dharam, 'She seems to be worried deeply about something. Goddesses can't be bothered about worries. They are remover of worries rite" Dharam rebuked his claims, "She is not worried for herself, she is worried of her children." Prem raised another doubt, "You said she is of sixteen years a minute ago. Now where did the children come from ?"

They had reached the spot. The house of Mr Somashekar Rao. The 'Goddess' requested her disciple to make a howling sound. Dharam was quite surprised by the request, but Prem encouraged, "I hope she is not calling wolves to devour some one. But she definitely knows what you are good at. Go Ahead! and make that mating call of yours." Dharam displayed his talent effectively. A light was lit in Mr Somashekar Rao's house and a few minutes later, a bike started. Prem guessed that a hunting expedition was on their way to get this lone wolf. Thats when the goddess spoke, "Its time you people depart from the place. You will hear more, tomorrow morning from the people."

Prem's curiosity knew no bounds and he wanted to hide in the bushes and watch the rest of the story, "I really want to see how she gets her victims. I am a big fan of slasher movies. I want to see the Gory Part". That time, the 'Goddess' looked at them with disbelief, "Gory! ...You better go home now!" Dharam dragged Prem away from the scene and rushed towards the home.

As expected the next day, the milk man had a story to tell to Dharam's mother, "You know Mr Someshekhar Rao. His son, Rajashekhar ran away with Gowri, that young lower caste girl from the neighboring village, yesterday night in his bike. It is said that two boys from our village helped the lovers to escape. A feud between the two villages is bound to ensue "
Prem who was listening the story, "Your 'goddess' seems to have eloped with one of her ardent devotees. Next the villagers would come looking for us. When is the next train to the city?"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Don't rise too early, SUN!

Dhanya was fully tensed up. Next day she had exams coming up and still she had some chapters to cover before she can retire for the day. Over the chat, she expressed her fears to Prem. Her only wish for the night was that somehow the Sun could rise a little late the next day or didn't show up at all.

Prem wished he could be of some help to this little girl. She was a studious girl but the study material was like the vast ocean. That's when Prem thought of requesting the new president of the great country, to do something about it. After all he was the Super Hero for the time being. Prem trespassed all the Protocols and in a couple of minutes time, was talking with the historical President, "Congratulations! There must be quite a celebration mood over there.... Why don't you extend it ?..... Why don't you ask the sun to stay back there and enjoy the party?"
The President spoke, "Thank you for your wishes...... But I don't wish to hold the sun back and throw your country into darkness..... Already Politicians are keeping your citizens in darkness, Big Business Houses had kept their shareholders in darkness. I don't want to do that job, even literally. I ask the citizens of your big democratic country to come into the light."
Like many others, Prem was also impressed by the thoughts of this new leader.

But he had to help Dhanya out. That's when he thought he could approach Lord Hanuman. When he was young, Hanumanji had swallowed Sun and released it only when Gods begged him to do so. So Prem prayed to Hanumanji and in a minute's time he was in Prem's room (Faster than in Bollywood movies). When he heard Prem's request, "No way! That was a long time back. And don't take everything that Val-Mickey writes, so seriously. The sun today has grown to a bigger size nearly a million times than the earth da. No more do I see it as a fruit. Today I see it as a Giant Ball of Fire." So saying he just jumped out of the window. Thud, came a loud sound.
OMG! Lord Hanumanji had not noticed the electric pole that was just outside Prem's house!

Prem thought he could try some help from his grandma. She was known to use some black magic on people and nature. 'Educated Witch', that's how Prem liked to call her. Prem with a shaking voice, "Granny, I have a friend.... She has a request... She wants a longer night... So can you just make the sun come up late tomorrow morning"
But the granny misunderstood completely, "What! A longer night ? Who is this girl ? What are you two up to? Does your mother know about this?"
Prem didn't knew how to answer the embarrassing questions and just disconnected the phone.

Within two minutes, his parents were there in his room and started searching frantically. His father looked below the cot while his mother searched inside the wardrobe. Even the bathroom was thoroughly searched. Prem tried to make them understand the situation, but they will not believe him. They thought their son had brought a girl home. His reputation has been ruined. Now Prem wanted the day to end as soon putting an end all the embarrassments and the questions.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Prem in the Land of Oz

Prem and Dhanya were still haggling about the bachelor award. Their fights was really irritating the next door kid Ashwith who was reading the book The Wizard of Oz with full involvement.

The interruptions was so irritating that unknown to Ashwith, his sub-conscious mind had sucked both of them from the real world into his mind. Prem and Dhanya found themselves trapped in the mind of a 10 year old and there was NO WAY OUT. Then they saw before their eyes , the story of The Wizard of Oz being played on some sort of screen. When they heard the Narrator's voice, they realized what was happening. The narrator was Ashwith and they were viewing his imagination of the story as he read it, sitting in the balcony of his mind.

The story had reached the stage where The Girl and her three friends had reached the Emerald City and were waiting for the Wizard to make the Appearance (Each of them had a special request - Dorothy wanted to go home, Scarecrow wanted brains, Tin Woodman wanted heart, and the Cowardly Lion wanted Courage). At this time, Prem comes up with an idea, "In the story, no one has ever seen Wizard till now and don't know how the Wizard looks. So let's enter into the Story and present you as the Wizard." Dhanya loved the idea of becoming a wizard. So the next moment, they were standing in front of the four principal characters, Dhanya as Wizard and Prem as the Political Advisor to the Wizard.

So the requests was put forward one by one. The scarecrow wanted a brain, "Its not that I don't have brains. Its that I don't remember anything for more than 15 minutes.... "
Prem like a statesman, " You know what Friedrich Nietzche has said, 'Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders' Think about it. Do you really want to have a stronger memory?"
But the scarecrow had made up his mind. So Prem just inserted a 128GB RAM into his head and sent him with a message, "Next time, in addition to maintaining a dairy, also blog about your daily incidents and have that IP address tatooed on your hands, in case ....."

Next was the Tin Woodman, he needed a heart, "Its not that I don't have a heart... I want a heart that never hardens... a heart that can beat for someone....." Prem laughed a bit, "Ha..Ha.... You want the human heart....Mind you, its the only organ in the entire human body that will not listen to you..." But the tin man wanted to experience a human heart. Prem took some of his signatures on certain forms and sent him to the operation theater. When the tin man asked Prem as to what actually he had signed, he smiled with a wicked grin, "It says that you don't hold Us responsible if anything goes wrong during the heart transplant. All the best. "

The Lion's request was rejected by Dhanya stating security reasons of the Emerald City. 'One can't predict of what the Cowardly Lion would do on getting the courage back' was her concern. Dhanya didn't want to re-look at the decision.
Prem looked at the girl, "Lady! What brings you here ?" The young girl, whom the narrator identified as Dorothy, started her story, "I got lost in thoughts.... lost in thoughts of my boyfriend... and when I open my eyes.... I am in this strange land.... I just want to be back in my PG Accommodation"
Prem didn't see Dorothy, all he saw was his girlfriend Simran standing in front of him. He slowly proceeded towards her. He came close to her and was about to hug her....... when she disappeared. The other characters also started disappearing from the screen, one by one including Prem and Dhanya. What had happened was The boy, shocked by the way the story went, had just thrown the book away and complained to his Dad, "The book you had given me as a Gift has made lots of changes to the original story of Wizard of Oz ..."
Dad tried to comfort his son, "That seems to be the trend, my boy! See the movie they are screening on the TV. They have taken a chapter from Akbar's life and made it a swashbuckler romantic story... "

Prem, when he came back to the real word, expressed with disgust to Dhanya, "Very Bizarre.... I was about to hug my girlfriend Simran.... and that too in the imagination of a 10 year old boy !"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Bachelor's story

Prem had become a prisoner in his home. Because of the cold, he was not able to venture out of the comforts of his room. So he remembered how Nehru made Discovery of India from the confinements of his prison. Prem made up his mind to write something, if not a great book, at least some small insightful article. So he started digging into some books and internet sites.

That's when Dhanya made her entry and was curious to know how Prem was fighting the cold and also the bore doom. Prem told her that he was doing some research into some of the great men who stayed away from the institution of marriage and devoted them self to some cause. She found it interesting and questioned him "And who are the contenders for the top post ?"

Prem spoke with some confidence, " I think Bheeshma stands out. He saw more than three generations in front of him and yet he remained single all the life. But at the same time he knew his responsibilities and got good brides for the kings...."
Dhanya interrupted, "Prem, He is not a good bachelor as you are. No girl has sat on the back seat of your two-wheeler till now. But Bheeshma carried ek nahi teen kanyas and that too ek saath in his chariot da. That apart, Seriously, because of him, many ladies suffered in the mahabharatha from Amba to Kunti to Draupadi... He always was a mere spectator to their plight...."

Prem was shocked at Dhanya's knowledge of mythology, "Leave Mythology.... Lets look at history... I think Swami Vivekananda gets the highest votes.... "
Dhanya was prepared even for this " Do you know at what age did Swami Vivekananda died ?"
Prem was clueless on this one.
Dhanya continued majestically, "He died at the age of 39. He is a great person and one of the best spiritual leaders. But 39 is a young age to determine and give him the prestigious BACHELOR award. The Vedantas, which he studied says a Girl is a MAAYA and can't say when one gets trapped in that illusion...."

Prem didn't like the way Dhanya was finding some arguments, but still continued, "Don't go to a preaching mood. I think we would look at the current scenario and Mr AB Vajpayee would be most suitable for the award."
Dhanya laughed and reminded him of a famous Vajpayee quote, 'I am not a bachelor, but an unmarried man', "Now what does that mean.. That he had many unsuccessful flings?"
Prem was really embarrassed and put the ball in Dhanya's court "Okay. You tell me one good spinster, who devoted herself to some cause, who can qualify for the BEST SPINSTER AWARD."

Dhanya immediately said, "Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu"
Prem was confused on hearing Dhanya speak in some foreign language, "What does that mean ?"
Dhanya said, "Mother Teresa"
Prem was silent as he completely agreed with her. But now his search for the best bachelor gained still more momentum. He needed to answer her at the earliest....

(Readers .... Help Prem Out....)

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Power of Net

She seemed to be Hacker from a different world. Unlike Regular Hackers, Anagha hacked into the minds of the computer users itself, rather than the computer. By doing so, she makes them visit the sites only she would want them to . Once she gains access to the grey cells, she experiments with the programs to control the mind of her victim.

On that fateful day, Anagha gained unauthorised access to Prem's Mind. It seemed that there was only one thing in Prem's Mind and that too all the time, that is 24x7 ,Simran...Simran... Simran. Anagha decided to erase it by making Prem's mind think of something else.

'Let Violence erupt in his mind' she cried and accordingly guided the program to effect some cortex area of the brain so that violence could erupt in his mind. And in a very animated fashion, Prem logged on to some news site. He was redirected to a gallery which starts with a warning that 'some of the pictures were too graphic'. They were scenes from the war zone in Gaza. Prem's mind was surely captivated by these images. His moral sensibilities and self restraint seemed to be breaking down. Anagha thought she was succeeding in deviating his course, but that was not to be. Prem remembered one war which had a deep impact on him since his childhood days. He tried hard to remember but his mind was not in his control. No it is not the Kargil .....not the First Iraq War... Just then he looked outside the window and saw a lonely STAR in the clear sky. That's when the movie name dawned to Prem... STAR WARS. Prem closed the news site and opened you-tube and saw his favourite Star Wars Scene - the battle of Vader and Luke. Prem wanted to see this movie with Simran at some point of life. With love in his mind, violence had no place.

Anagha was the not the one to accept defeat easily,"Greed definitely makes man blind to everything else.'' So now Prem found himself clicking on the finance blog of his good friend and consultant Sathya. The article was focusing on the opportunity for the investors with share pricing falling down, bank rates becoming competitive , Infrastructure improving and so on. It went to say that invest now and have a life of Complete Aaaram (CA). Prem was really brainwashed by the article when suddenly a comment popped up which read, "What about Job Losses, Economic Slowdown, CFOs being arrested, Loan defaults going up etc etc. This only seems to be the tip of the iceberg. I am sure the Indian Economy is going to be subjected to Continuous Atyachar (CA) for some time". That was when Prem got wise and had something of his own to add, ' Instead of investing in shares and building portfolios, I prefer to invest in people and build good relationships'. When he talked about relationship, Simran flied back to his mind. And Greed returned back with the tail between his legs.

That's when Anagha decided to use Lust as her weapon. 'Lust and Passion can destroy any man' . Prem's system went ' You've got mail!'. It was from some unknown email id. But the literature in it promised excitement of a very special kind. Now his mind was full of only one thing. Prem muted the volume and just checked on his parents before proceeding. Blood can flow only in one direction. And now in Prem's case, it was moving in a very wrong direction. But his excitement was short lived as the web page asked for some password before proceeding. Prem seemed to have prepared for such a situation as he had earlier applied for some family filter which blocked such sites and required password before proceeding. He knew that some time would come when temptation and lust may overpower him. He didn't remember the password. Now he pressed on 'forgot the password' button and it popped the secret question - Name of the girlfriend. He had given the name of his girlfriend as his password so that he can never visit such sites and never have the system used by his friends for such purposes. As he remembered his girlfriend Simran, all lust vanished and good sense prevailed on him.

Now a different kind of emotion had captured Anagha's mind. Frustration... Frustration from her first failure.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Young Shrink

However hard Simran tried to console her, Pallavi was not in a mood to listen to her. Pallavi was crying buckets as her fiance had ditched her. She cursed her stars and her fate and whatever she could think of. Simran had the urge to slap this girl very hard. But the best thing she thought, Pallavi needed at the moment was a therapy.

So Simran took her to a psycho-therapist whom she knew only by name, Manasa. For her media reports, she sometimes consulted this online friend via mails and chats. This was the first time they were coming face to face. The psycho-therapist turned out to be a very young and lovely lady like those nubile heroines in the walt disney live movies. Simran doubted the shrink's credentials, "I was told you were experienced psychiatrist. By Looks it doesn't seem to. I hope you are not aging in the reverse direction." The 'young' girl removed the doubts, "One is as old as one thinks. And I think I am sweet sixteen. Okay. Lets come to the problem."
Simran briefed up of her friends's emotional state.

The young doctor with a smile started the session, "Tell me something about him... this fiasco of yours .... sorry.... fiance of yours"
Pallavi started describing her ex in a very sombre tone, "He is a handsome Hulk, always making me laugh with his silly jokes. He worked as a lawyer and was a successful one ......"
The doctor corrected her, "Be positive should always be the mantra. But when it comes to forgetting ex-boyfriends, we need to find negatives attributable to them"
Simran was ready to help Pallavi in this matter, "Pallavi, He is not a handsome Hunk, but a disposable junk... His silly jokes are like bollywood movie tunes... always copied. He is not a successful lawyer, but a disgraceful liar... "

The young doctor continued, "Is there any new girl who has made him ditch you ?"
Tears filled Pallavi's eyes as she spoke, "Yeah. His new team mate in office. He says they share the same office, same desk. Now they have decided to share the same .... bedroom. They are live-in couple!"
The doctor got a bit irritated, "From the boardroom to bedroom. So what's left for him to share with you? What you expect from him? Joint ownership of his heart with that new girl !!! "
Simran tried to put some sense into her friend's mind, "Look. He is not of a caring nature, but of a sharing nature! Forget him. He has found a new definition for the term 'bringing work home'!"

The young doctor put a terse question, "Why do you feel that you cant live without him ?"
Pallavi's eyes were now red, as she continued, "Last six months. I have put everything in this relationship. I have seen dreams. I have planned my career and family life around them. Its not that easy to put it behind the back and walk like nothing happened.... My life has crumbled"
The young doctor tried to cheer her up, "Instead of looking into the past six months, think about the future which holds so many promises. Instead of the person who is not there with you, think of people who are near you"

Simran knew that it was not that easy and didn't had any words to comfort Pallavi. At that moment, a senior lady entered the room and suddenly started yelling at the young lady, "Why have you taken my seat, you monkey ? You will drive me crazy, girl. Don't make me see a shrink myself. Move out."
The young lady who till know acted like the shrink, "Aunty! I was just helping you by writing down the case details. Take the notes "
Handing over the notes, the young girl briskly walked out of the room. Before doing so she had a advice for Pallavi, "Take my word. Don't ever waste your tears for a man like that. No man deserves your tears, and who deserves them wont make you cry**."

(** Quote of Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Rab Ne Bane Di Jodi - Oh Really !

The BBC of Prem's office, Sharanya had some breaking news for Prem. His girlfriend Simran would be in his area for a marriage on Sunday. It has been months since Prem last saw her. They rarely were in touch these days, but they have not yet separated. He wouldn't definitely miss this opportunity of seeing her .
But Sharanya didn't say which marriage hall ? Sharanya never ever gave complete information.

So Prem had decided to check out some of the marriage halls. Yeah! Attend marriages without Invitation! And who was giving him company on this adventure. His young neighbor Dhanya.

The building looked like a convention center. But more marriages took place there than business functions. Dhanya liked to watch the marriage rituals and so she left Prem to do the search. When he returned empty handed, Prem found Dhanya in a shocked state. She looked at Prem, "Look at the couple. They say Girl is eighteen years old and has completed Plus Two and the boy has just completed graduation. But for me she looks like sweet sixteen and he immature enough to handle the responsibility. I hope its not a bal vivaah (child marriage). Look at the scared faces of those two souls. Its like watching Pogo Characters trapped in a B-Grade Horror Movie! Let's get out of here"

The next marriage hall looked more like a extravagant bollywood movie set. The way they had spent, Prem felt that some rich guy was getting married. The groom was asking everyone who wished him on that occasion the same question 'How did you came?' and there was a twinkle in his eyes, when they said "In the auto".
Dhanya had the explanation for the same, "The bride is a economics lecturer in our college. And the groom is an ordinary rickshaw driver. "
Prem couldn't believe this and commented with a wicked grin, " What did she find in him ? Is this some cost control exercise ? Did she wanted to save on some traveling expenses ?"
Dhanya didn't find it a joke, "No way! He also knows the economy. She is coming with 30 pounds of gold as hefty dowry da."
Prem found it disgusting and both of them moved out of that place refusing to take the cold drink offered to them.

These days temples have found a special way to earn extra income. Build a Kalyan Mandap. And in that kalyan mandap, the couple getting married were not complete strangers to Prem and Dhanya. Dhanya knew the bride as her senior who is in her final years of graduation and as a sweet and innocent girl who always walked with her heads down. She hardly speaks to any one from the opposite sex except for her father and the lecturers. Prem knew the groom as a big flirt and remembered how the famous ending lines from the hit single Casanova was used as a warning for the girls dating this philander , " If you want him - to me it's allright - though you know that you're not bein' smart - there's only one thing I guarantee you -that one day soon he'll break your heart."
An astrologer sitting in the front row was boasting of how he played the key role in this matchmaking, "...Their stars match perfectly. This is God made Jodi.... "
Prem found it hard to believe that this casanova would transform to a family man. Those things happen only in movies.

All the marriage halls in his area were visited. But Simran was not to be found anywhere. They decided to return home after paying a visit to the temple. Usually the temple had a very few visitors at that hour of the day. But that day there was a small gathering of twenty to thirty. It was a group of youngsters only. The temple priest came out of the sanctum sanctorum and gave the boy the mangalsutra which know had the blessing of goddess Durga. The three knots was tied and the marriage had taken place without much pomp and show.Dhanya was excited, "Love marriage and without elders! Wow! I should have brought my camera."

Prem was not listening. He was watching his Simran who with folded hands and closed eyes was praying to God. He didn't look at the God even thought the Maha-Pooja was going on. His eyes was focused on Simran. He had a good excuse for doing so, "Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hain.... Yaara Mein Kya Karo... "
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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