Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Software Man

Prem wanted to know more about this young man, Mr Madan. He was studying Plus One and in the same college as his neighbor Dhanya and both of them have become quite good friends attracting the eyes of the seniors.

Prem was greeted by Madan's father, who shocked Prem with his answer, when Prem asked for Madan, "He has locked himself in the room with his wife." Madan's mother quickly explained him, "He is sitting in front of his system developing a software."

Madan came down to greet Prem. Prem was more curious on the software. The young boy with an excited look, "I call it QFO." Madan's father added his explanation, "Like Unidentifiable Flying Objects, Questional Flying objects.... Right son!. He must have entered the kitchen and seen some kitchen objects flying." Turning to Madan's mother, "I have told you several times not to fight when the kid is at home. Now he is making it public and that too over the net, I suppose"

Madan was not listening, "Its called QUOTES FOR the OCCASSION" and went on with his explanation, "My software integrates the quotes from the various best known quote sites available and then labels them accordingly..."
Madan's father, "You should take some from me too, I have build up my own collection during you and your sister's upbringing."
Madan quickly retorted, "No I only go for quality quotes"
Madan's father looked at his wife, "What kind of child you have given me? He is insulting his creators"

Madan continued with his software, "Then whenever you want a quote for any occassion, enter the keyword and It will find one for you from the whole warehouse of quotes and also checks whether quote has already been supplied. Thus, It supplies a unique quote each time....and also it has a internal rating system"
Madan's father wanted to experiment it, "Give me a quote for a quarreling husband and wife.", and then looked at his wife with a grin, "And give me a good one and not a silly one"
Prem was given the opportunity to do the honours on Madan's laptop. The quote got highlighted on the desktop and Prem read it, " The couple that fights the most is the one most in luve... It shows that they care enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention to to the other person so they can fix it. When you stop fighting, it means you stop caring."
Mother was happy with the quote, "Now why don't you acknowledge me for having such a child."

Prem had one doubt, "This is a good software which can has lot of application. It could be applied while preparing some essay or article to get some good quotes. Or it could help speakers and motivational leaders to spice up their speeches. Have you tried to market it? "
Madan looked a bit confused, "Err! I never thought of these areas. Well I gave the software compatibility features with the mobile."
Prem thought this young boy would go and become something like Sabeer Bhatia until he heard his final words.
Madan continued, "I connect this QFO to the mobile and give a occassion and let it find a unique quote and then transmit it across the mobile to my girlfriend Dhanya as a GOODNIGHT quote."

Prem could not comprehened this, "All these efforts just to send daily Goodnight quotes to your girlfriend?"
Madan's father looked at his wife, "Really! You have given me a unique product with special features."

Friday, February 20, 2009

A Decision Has To Be Taken!

A High level meeting was scheduled to be held between some close neighbors and Prem was not invited. Prem was curious to know more as to what would ensue in this meeting. So with the help of old neighbor Inspector Ali, he got the venue bugged. And from the comforts of his room, he heard the proceedings of the meeting along with Dhanya. For Dhanya, this meeting was more important than the practical exam to be held next week.

The Agenda for the meeting was future of Dhanya. Now some senior members are sure that Dhanya has a boy friend, Mr Madan (Dhanya's mother preferred Master Madan). So the Speaker, that is Dhanya's Mother, 'This is a serious issue for my family. I wanted her to be fully focussed on the text books. But like Radha, her mind has wavered to some krishna's flute call." A old man who liked classical songs started rendering the composition 'Alai Payuthey'. But the chairperson silenced her and got back to the meeting.

Dhanya's mother told her decision, "I would like to change her college and put her to a girls college Sharada Pre University College."
Dhanya who was listening this from Prem's room started complaining, "No! I don't want to go to that college!"
Prem understood the pains of leaving a college where you have made good friends. But Dhanya had something different to tell, "You know! They have this standard uniform of Black and white churidhars. How boring! Full Black and white! No Jeans! No life at all."

Dhanya's father had a different plan, "Changing a collge at this stage is not at all practical. Don't worry darling! I will do the bodyguard job and accompany her to the college daily."
Dhanya was shocked, "Then I would become the butt of college jokes. And I am pretty sure, Mother would not take such a risk of sending father with me."
And she was right as the speaker rejected the idea, "That would mean attracting more problems as if the current one was not sufficient."

Dhanya's granny was the guest for the occassion, "Get her married and leave that decision to her husband. You know, I got married at 15 and at Dhanya's age I was carrying you in my stomach."
Prem teased Dhanya and asked her to give it a thought, "They say in Hindi, 'Kal karo tho aaj kar, Aaj kar tho ab kar'
But Dhanya's mother rejected her, "Everyone here seems to be thinking of increasing my troubles. Anyone gimme a practical idea."

Prem's mother was present on the occassion, " Sister, I have an advice. Don't try to tie her up or restrict her freedom. Just explain to her as a friend. If you can't do that, get it done through someone who is close to her and who is senior to her."
Dhanya's mother, "You have rightly said, Sister. And who else is better to explain this than your son Prem."
It was now upto Prem to explain to her. But Prem knew Dhanya well, "Well, I know that you are a intelligent girl and also that you know where to draw the line. So no big advices from me....And yeah... enjoy yourself driving your parents nuts over this."

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Morning Thief!

There was a commotion in the neighborhood. A lady's high pitch voice which seemed to be cursing and using all the expletive words, made its way to Prem's ears despite the music that flowed from his desktop. Prem instantly jumped to his feet and joined the small crowd that had gathered there.
It seems a thief had been caught trying to enter her house. That house which was next to Dhanya's, belonged to a lady whose husband worked abroad. The thief was a very young gentleman of around Seventeen years. The innocent looks and the attire only gave the impression that he could not steal anything other than a young girl's heart. But for the lady, he was a intruder, "Scoundrel! Bastard! Thief!." The boy was begging her to show some mercy and showed her his college identity, "I am a student!" Prem looked around and thought he saw a worried look on Dhanya. She had taken a break from her studies and had joined the crowd.

The lady took the identity card and read the college name and added, "Mr Madan? Nice Name... But What the hell were you doing outside my window peeping into my bedroom? Are you not getting pocket money? Are you into drugs?"
When he heard the college name, Prem guessed the objective of the boy, so he interrupted, "Well! Actually he came to see me...." All gazes were directed at Prem.
But the lady questioned him, "Then why did he enter my home in the first place?"
Prem replied coolly, "Technology! I didn't give the address. He took the address and used google earth to track it. And look where it has landed him. Right Madan?"
The boy just nodded his head, as he just wanted to escape from the scene.

The lady swallowed the explanation as she hardly understood it, but still had a serious doubt, "Why not use the doorbell or knock on the door, rather than entering stealthily. "
Prem smiled a bit, "Hmm....He knew that I would not open the door for him, if he used the doorbell or knocked on the door. So he went ahead with his Plan B. Am I correct, Madan? "
Madan came up with a hurried Yes, though he knew that Prem was just bluffing

The lady was a lover of gossips and smelled something interesting here, "Hmm.... Is there some love lost relationship with one party trying to reconcile...... or has some girl come between you two?"
Prem looking a bit hesitant, "If there was a girl.... that would mean competition for him...."
That made the lady think, "You mean.... he is a ........" She didn't even wanted to use the word.
Prem went ahead with his explanation, " I know I am Hot and good looking and that my smile can give some girls sleepless nights. But I didn't knew that I would attract some one from my own sex towards me.... "
Madan gave a confused look. After nodding yes for everything till now, he now found himself put into a ugly situation by Prem.

The lady and other residents of the colony looked with shock at the young man and started commenting. Some started guessing as what could have attracted the boy ('It must be Prem's torso'). Others were supporting him ('Some Indian males are like this. They secretly like Sharukh Khan, you know.')
These statements stirred something inside Dhanya and she just blasted loudly at Prem, "Stupid! Liar! You don't even know him. Madan is definetely not the type who likes boys.... and that's for sure....I can vouch for that" Someone from the crowd got alerted, "Hey! The college name on the boy's identity! Its the same one where Dhanya studies."

Everyone looked at Dhanya. She couldn't stand their suspecting stares. Her feeling for the boy was being read by the crowd. She got embarrassed and ran inside her house. Prem just smiled as everyone was left speechless. Suddenly, a old man gave a war cry, "The boy is running away! Get him! He may not a thief! But definitely more dangerous than a thief!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Valentine's Day

Like a statesman, Prem had decided, "Enough IS Enough" and on that D-Day early morning, he started his bike and proceeded towards Simran's house. He had to sort things out and that too at the earliest. But a man with a saffron robe and a tilak in his head, stopped him and addressed, "White color dress and the excitement on the face! Looks like the romantic hero is on the way to meet his valentine. Haven't you heard of our campaign of getting the valentine couple's married?"
Prem was more than happy to listen to his, "Well then! I want to get married but can't because of parental opposition. Seems like my prayers are answered. Please come with me." Prem looked around to see another stupid saffron guy stopping a nurse and asking the same question.

So Prem reached Simran's house a bit late thanks to the saffron guy. Simran had already dashed to the office. Prem was a bit irritated, "Why don't they declare Valentine's day as a National Holiday!"

Without wasting a time, Prem made his move towards her office. But she had been handled outside assignments for that day. She could be anywhere in the city. It was already Nine Thirty and he had to wait till five thirty in the evening before he can see her. The saffron guy was heartbroken, "Well! I need to have some numbers in my kitty before the evening."

Prem got immersed in his work as he had presentations to make. But as soon as clock stuck five thirty, like a enthusiastic school boy, he jumped out of his seat and ran towards the parking zone. The saffron guy was already waiting for him. Prem wanted to know the Mangalsutra count he had achieved, "The mangalsutra count has not yet started. But the rakhi count is more than ten i.e the rakhis the girls had tied around my hand" Prem didn't had time to listen to his sad story as he broke the city speed limits to reach Simran's office.

She came out of her office.... but was accompanied by a handsome gentleman. The saffron guy got a hint, "Story mein twist. Is it some colleague who is very close to her. " Prem corrected him, "No! Story mein problem. Its her brother who will not let any guy come very close to her." The saffron guy understood the matter and was sure that Prem would not go ahead and talk with Simran in her brother's presence. It would mean creating a scene.

But meeting did take place between Prem and Simran. Well not in the real sense. Their eyes meet. Simran hinted something by her eyes as if she was saying to Prem, "Check your pocket." Prem digged into his pocket and took out his mobile. There were four missed calls and all by Simran. For the presentation, he had turned the mobile to silent mode and it had remained so for the rest of the day. There was also a voice message from Simran. Looking at her, he heard the message, " Where are you? Waiting impatiently to meet you.", the next lines surprised Prem until he heard the final part, "I don't like Govinda nor his dresses or movies. But remember what he told Rani in Hadh Kar dhi Aapne. Well I want to say the same thing to you. With You in my mind, For me, Everyday is a Valentines day, Every hour is a Valentine Hour, Every Minute is a Valentine minute and every second is a Valentine second. I LOVE YOU........."

The Saffron Guy racked his brains in utter confusion and asked Prem, "Well! Is she or Is she not celebrating today as Valentine's day ?"

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Sixth Sense

I have been tagged by Shilpa. The rules are thus:

Pick the 6th picture of your 6th photo folder.
Tell a story around it.
Pass it on to six other people you like.

My sixth folder has photos of this naughty kid. Now let us go back to some thirteen years earlier and hear the story of how his parents got married. The story is a simple one. Names have been changed.

Once upon a time, Mangalore was a very small town with no big malls, no pubs, no FM radio. In a small colony, lived a pretty girl named Shubhitha who had completed her graduation and was waiting for her Prince charming.

A Prince did appear. Literally! The Prince was from a small village of a neighbouring state, but he didn't had a kingdom and his palace was in ruins and he didn't depend on tax money from his subjects. Rather he worked as a lecturer and also doubled as a farmer. He didn't had servants under him. The girl fell for the Prince, though knowing that it meant sacrificing the town life and living off in a village in a alien land speaking alien language. She didn't even mind the age difference of nine years.

The Prince who went by the name Ranjan instantly fell in love with Shubhitha and gave his consent for marrying the girl at the earliest. He didn't think that a deeper analyis of horoscope would be required. For some times, the romance continued through landlines (Lucky are the present generation as they can communicate easily and at any time via mobile and chats ) and personal visits and letters (Now-a-days postman delivers only telephobe bills and insurance premium notices). He shared with her some photography tips and magic tricks. She believed that photography is also a magic trick that made people look more beautiful.

But then one day, a famed and old astrologer landed at the Prince's palace and warned, "This wedding can't take place!" He used such a language that freightened the King and the Queen (i.e Ranjan's parents) , "Don't tell me that I had not warned." They called off the marriage. Prince protested a bit but afterwards went quiet. Shubhita deeply hurt by his silence and refused to touch any food or water. Her mother got worried and immediately contacted her brother. He came down from the nearby temple city and without wasting any further time proceeded to the Palace.

He was not treated rudely, but rather heartly welcomed. The King and Queen expressed their helplessness as they had no courage to go against the fate. But the girl's uncle wanted to talk to Ranjan. The Uncle had a simple question to him, "If you truly started loving her, It would be easy for you to put yourself in her place and experience the pain. I have not come here to beg you or ask you to accept her. It's left to you completely." Ranjan realised his mistake and decided to go ahead with the marriage, "Mother! I have shown dreams to a girl of my life being shared with her in all happiness and sorrows. Can I put her into sorrow myself? If I take my move backwards, then It would be going against my own words. Sorry Mother! I am going to marry her."

In this way Ranjan got married to Shubhitha and today they are blessed with two naughty boys.

I wouldn't tag anyone. But really would like to see how my fellow bloggers frame their stories around a picture.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Serial Kidnapper

Prem and Dhanya didn't remember what had happened. But when they opened their eyes, they found themselves in a dark room with this human being who looked more like a beast. It was clear that they had been kidnapped and to Dhanya, the person looked more like a serial killer. "Correction!" cried the dark man who seemed to be in his forties " Not a serial killer. But a serial kidnapper who has a pattern."

Dhanya was very freightnened and at the same time was pissed off with Prem, "What is with you that attracts all kinds of special animals and creatures towards you. Get me out of here!"
Prem was clueless of what was happening. He couldn't move, his foot and hands were tied to the chair, "Mr Villain! Could you please explain as to why we have the privilege of being your guests"
The Serial kidnaper again yelled at the top of his lungs, "Correction! Not her. You!"

Villains always like talking before they start their heinous crimes. So also did this Serial kidnapper, "Last month! I kidnapped a bank employee. I thought he was still a bachelor at the age of 38. But I was mistaken, he had a wife who worked in a different location. They meet once in a month. I felt it was wrong for a couple to live such a separated life. So I kidnapped the husband....."
Dhanya got irritated and slowly whispered, "Prem..... he seems to be a psycho.... "
The serial kidnapper continued, "But the husband's words melted my heart, 'We are living a separated life so that we can earn and provide a better life for our kid. The present is sacrificed for the future of our kid'. I couldn't hold him anymore"
Dhanya was comforted "Psycho.... but with a soft heart...."

The villain continued, "But last fortnight I saw this healthy old man whose wife was on life support systems at the hospital. I didn't like this descrimination and just whisked away the old man...."
Dhanya was confused, "I don't see the pattern here"
But the serial kidnapper kept talking on, "I asked the old man, how can he live like that when his wife is on a death bed. His answer brought tears to my ears, 'Who said I am living? I am dying each and every day. A painful death. Suffering is much worser than death.' So I let him go and live.... or die...."
Dhanya whispered to Prem, "Be prepared with some sentimental answers and we can be out of here."

Now he moved towards Prem and started speaking very harshly, "But You! They had their reasons. You don't have a reason for being separate from your loved one. It's more than five months I suppose since you have met Simran."
Dhanya exclaimed, "Wow! He studies his victims a lot. Even we don't do so much for our assignments." The villain was a bit happy with the comment.
Prem's facial expression changed, "I know separation is a bitter part of any romance. But it has to be endured to make any love strong. Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great**"

The villain was totally dumb stuck with the answer, "Great! You have removed all my doubts! From now onwards no more kidnapping"
Dhanya was pleased and slowly commented to Prem, "Looks like he has finally got his Ph. D" and looking joyfully at the kidnapper, "That means we are free to go!"
The kidnapper freed Dhanya, "You are free to go. I know, You are married to your books for the time being. I don't want to keep you away from them for a long time. But Let Prem be with me for a week. Anyway Valentine's Day is nearing. I want to see how absence enkindles the great love"

Dhanya looked at Poor Prem, "Looks like you have got your first student. So much for preaching. Good luck" and she made her way out.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Prem meets Indira

Prem was watching something very interesting on the Telly when the bell rang. The way the bell was rung, he knew that it was Dhanya. He didn't want Dhanya to find out what he was watching and quickly tried to switch channels. But the remote didn't seem to work. So he just pressed very hard on the button seven and the channel changed. At the same time there was a huge deafening sound as if something crashed down on the terrace.

He first opened the front door for Dhanya and then both of them ran up stairs to find the source of that huge sound. The remote button had brought a helicopter down on their terrace. A pilot was observing the helicopter and the damage that has been caused due to the crash. While another, a Sikh with his machine gun in his hand pointed at them while a elderly lady stepped down the helicopter. It was Mrs Indira Gandhi. Dhanya couldn't believe it, "Now I know what is meant by Diversification. Earlier we used to encounter imaginary characters and mythology heroes. Now Your mind has diversified and bringing back great leaders from the post. Now explain to Mrs Indira Gandhi."
Prem tried to explain it but it went to deaf ears. Dhanya very cooly, "Allow a lady to explain. Like our army plane sometime enters into the enemy zone, so has your helicopter entered into a different time zone. History always said that you were much ahead of your time. Now you are, Madam."

Indira Gandhi came to terms with this and wanted to know more about the country, "So, how is our silly neighbour ?"
Prem with a dull face, "Uske baare mein kya kehna. We opened up the road route, they decided to take the sea route and thus made a visit to the financial capital and as they say in the stock market, 'there was blood on the streets' literally. " Dhanya explained to her the Mumbai Tragedy and the aftermath of mere exchange of words in the last two months after the incident. Indira Gandhi couldn't believe it, "I am ashamed of this. Sonia should have used her power and brought Pakistan to its knees. These daughter in laws never want to learn anything from their Mother in Laws"

Indira Gandhi wanted to hear something positive, "Well, I hope my dreams of Garibi Hatao has been achieved. I mean the economy has progressed"
Prem said, "Well. Economy is not at all bad except that we are going through a recession and there is lot of job losses and lots of big financial scams and well, consumer spending is coming down drastically and real estate is in doldrums. But poverty is still there and that too Desh Ke Kone Kone Mein (At every corner of this country). "
Indira Gandhi got confused, "My Boy! A very nice way of expressing. Anyway if poverty is eradicated, then that means an end for the game of politics"

Indira Gandhi smiled at the Young Dhanya and asked her, "Do you have complaints against your great Nation, Girl"
Dhanya said, "Well ! India has grown but not the minds of the Indians. Specially the male species. The violence against the women has increased tenfold. Rapes, Harassment and other kinds of violence acts against the women folk is on an all time high. You can call it a record of sorts. And there doesn't seem to be a political will in some states to solve the same"
Indira Gandhi was horrified, "You know I had done a grave mistake in the seventies. I had misused a law. This would have been the right time to implement that law...."
Prem knew what the Great Lady was thinking. Dhanya looked at both of them, "And what could that be...."
Indira Gandhi smiled, "Declare Emergency. Ceasefire in those states and full power to the police force to handle such lunatics...."

At that time, the helicopter was repaired and was ready for take for. But how will she get back to her time... i.e 25 years back. Prem had the solution, "I think its because of this button in the remote that you landed here. May be it could take you back. Press the button 7 when you are ready for take off...."

She took the remote and cried to her bodyguard, "Comon, Satwant. Time to go home....." When the engine started, Prem remembered something, "Did she say Satwant! Oh My God! It is one of the bodyguards who will fire at her on October 31, 1984"

But it was too late. Mrs Indira Gandhi had already pressed the button and she was back in her time. An opportunity to save a great life goes begging.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Walk the Talk

What a day it was! Some Religious Organization had called a sudden bandh bringing to halt all the activities in the city. Some incidents of stone pelting at plying buses and forceful closing down the shop shutters was reported. Many found themselves stranded in the city. Some found themselves walking back home on foot, if they were not lucky to get a lift. Prem was one such unlucky soul. And to give him company was Dhanya, who was cursing the rogues who had called the bundh.

Dhanya hated walks. Never did she go for any morning strolls. Even for groceries, she would just call the supermarket and get it delivered to home. A distance of even one to two kilometers was usually covered by Autos. Today even they were scarcily available.

Somehow Prem tried to cheer her up and keep her mind away from fearful thoughts of rioting etc, "A long walk is always good for health. Besides a travel on a vehicle-less road is a rare opportunity. Our forefathers most of the time walked from one village to another. And think about those journeys on foot that has made history in the past...."
Dhanya was not at all in a mood for a long walk , "I don't like walking and I don't like thinking. I don't want to go to the past. I just want to go home and that too quickly... "

But Prem wasn't listening. He was looking for examples and he found good ones, "Maryada Purushottam Raam walked most of the time and that too barefooted through the dense forests fighting beasts and demons."
Dhanya didn't like the topic of walking, "Boss. It was in the dense forests and the trees were there to protect them from the scorching heat. And why not you try walking barefooted on these concrete roads? And one more point. Raam was fully armed. You don't even have a pocket knife!"

Prem ignored her insults and remained enthusiastic. " Remember the history or at least the scenes from the movie where King Ashoka ventured out to walk around the city and all he got to see was burnt houses and scattered corpses. That sight made him yell out the famous lines, 'What have I done?' That is what made him adapt buddhism. Now that's what I call a good example for the positive effects of a long walk"
Dhanya in a very serious tone, "All I get to see here is closed shops and worried faces. And this experience here will make me yell out, 'Oh God! Why is my country going to the dogs?' and adapt a Honda Activa at the earliest, so that I don't have to walk home in these situations. Now that could be a positive outcome of this walk. "

Prem still continued, "Think about the marches done by our freedom fighters. Gandhi and his historic dandhi march. It took him in total 23 days.These walks led to uniting of people and figthing for a just cause."
Dhanya had enough of his walking shit, "Comon, give me a break. My due respects to Gandhiji. But with 50000 people behind you and an extensive press coverage, I would have also loved to do it. But what do I have, Only You!."

At that time, Inspector Ali, their ex neighbor who was patrolling, stopped the vehilce and offered them a lift. Dhanya thanked God for having heard her prayers. Unfortunately the vehicle was already jampacked and there was room for only one person. Dhanya took it for herself, "Uncle ! Don't worry about Prem. He wouldn't mind walking another 14 kilometers. He is interested in having his name inscribed in the pages of the history. Let him start it from here "
The expression on Prem's face was worth a million. That's when a pressman in the vehicle captured Prem's image in his camera and said, "If not in the history pages, at least it would appear in the tomorrow's newspapers."
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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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