Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ghosts of Past Boyfriends

Preetham was in a very happy mood. His wife has returned home with their kid. He took a early leave from the office and headed directly to home. Some young girl was waiting in the living room. He didn't even bother to greet her nor even he tried to recognize her. Preetham was more yearning to see his wife and child. When he entered the room Seema, his wife had just kept the phone receiver down and looked a bit gloomy. She spoke her mind out even before Preetham could enquire, "Its my friend Radha!... Her husband has left her because he caught her chatting with her old boyfriend. Seriously she was not upto any mischief nor she meant to betray her husband. You Men get so easily blurred and burned by the acid rain drops of jealousy and suspicion?*"

Preetham had other better things to talk,"Come on! I believe its not the right time to talk about it."
But Seema had predetermined something and it got clear as she spoke, "Seriously I want to make a confession before it is too late. Before You came into my life, there were three men. I will tell you about them today." So saying she took some photos, which was tuggged in between the pages of a paperback.
Preetham was taken aback, "Old boyfriends! And you still have their photos. Sure! Their love letters must also be neatly filed somewhere"

She shows the first picture and announces "Hari.. My boyfriend when I was just sweet sixteen, the age when we fall for good looking and attractive men. '. Preetham found the words not matching with the picture, "Your Hari Puthar looks more like Harry Potter with those specs. Attractive is the last word I will use to describe him.."
Seema laughed aloud, "He is more weird than Harry Potter! We used to sleep together..." Preetham's jaws nearly dropped on hearing the sleep word
But when seema completed the sentence, he was relieved, ".. together in the boring History class... Today he sleeps just four hours in his home"
Preetham completed, "The balance he gets in office i suppose... Anyway... why did you break up?"
Seema found her memory fading regarding the reason, "Don't remember! Maybe boyfriends came with expiry dates during that teen period!"

Seema picks up the second picture and goes back to the old days, "Those were my final years of graduation. During that age, we want men to respect us and accept us as we are. Alok! True to his name he was out of this world. He always used to take me to those Viraan places... Those old places and monuments where there would be no crowd at all and only shrubs and nature..."
Preetham didn't want his imagination to be put to work, "What kind of friends you had! Your choices seem to be all wrong."
Seema corrected her husband, "Don't mistake him, dear!... He was more into archaeology thing... old places.. old things.. etc"
Preetham interrupted, "Then he should have gone for an old woman... why you? err... wasn't that an insult to you?..."
Seema said, "Not at all.... An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interest he has in her**. But I was not lucky with Alok. He said he preferred quiet girls to me. Now that's what I call an insult."

Seema comes to the final snap "This is Ryan...." Preetham cries out, "A Christian? Being a pious brahmin girl you fell for a Christian!..."
Seema was taken aback, "All I saw was that he was a boy ...."
Preetham cools down, "Okay! During this stage, I suppose you looked for a man with good job prospects and status in society. Right?... So what was this Ryan boy? Doctor or Engineer?"
Seema laughed as she explained his profession, "He was a bus conductor... I was knocked out by the way he whistled, standing on the foot board and put the vehicle into motion with his usual clarion call 'Rights! Okay! Lets go!'.I thought he would always have said the same for all my wishes in the life"
Preetham couldn't believe his ears, "You were so stupid in love.. So why didn't this relationship work... "
Seema confessed, "I was very stupid. I didn't knew how to be alone and love always provided the escape. But even here, destiny had other plans. He gave up the whistle and held on to a flag. He joined a railway station as a gate man I suppose. Now that sounded very boring..."

Then the angry Mother-in-law barged in from nowhere and demanded Seema, "Give me those three photos right now... Whats going on here?"
Preetham felt that she mus have overheard their conversation. Preetham got really tensed up fearing that his mother would throw tantrums if she did come to know of her Daughter-in-Law's confessions. But the next line came as a total surprise to him, "My sisters daughter is waiting impatiently in the living room to see her three suitors photos from such a long time!!... and you are playing with the same, you silly girl !!!... Give it to me now!!!"
Seema without any protest handed over her so called ex-boyfriends snaps. Looking at her husband's all stressed out face, she gave away a mischievous smile, "Now you know the truth!" That smile did the trick and Preetham was not at all angry with her. He scolded her a bit lightly," You Nautanki!!!... So there was no one else at all in your life..."
Seema uttered the true confession, "Till I married you, I had never kissed any boy and was still sleeping with my mother.*** " and then slowly hummed these beautifully lines, "Na koi hain...na koi tha...zindagi mein tumhari siwa" (There was no else now... no one else before... other than you in my life)

* Adapted from a quote by Astrid Alauda
** Quote by Agatha christie
*** Adapted from a movie line

10 comments:

Priya Joyce said...

Wah kya ending hei..masttttt..

It was a dangerous game ..but It was as funny too :D

Now I know one thing..I want an archeologist Hubby :D:D
Am laughing wide..!!

Btw u nevr fail to put romance in bits n pieces...tat's reely gud!

Tulika said...

That what I call a pleasurable read.
Fantastic..!!

I love the spontaneity of your characters.
Enjoyed reading this big time..:)

Divya said...

firstly, i enjoyed watching this movie "Ghosts of Past Girl friends" so naturally i was enthused to read ur blog...

and secondly, this matches with most of the girls' around i think... including me...

and finally, m sure u can write on about guys also... they ve different phases in life for sure :D :D

Prathima Bhat said...

Nice and a funny post... Even my state of mind was the same as Preetham...
Falling in love with a conductor!!! That was the worst thing to know for a man of dignity that his wife fell for a conductor :D
Well, i liked her 1st love story..

BTW, very nice quotes picked from all the 3 references...

Charmed One! said...

Funny!!! :) ...

u got a nice imagination coming up with all those three characters :)...

Tan said...

I am here for the first time!!!

Need to explore more. Your stories are really interesting. :)

chinks said...

good. the title actualy bound me to read dis. intersting movie n al d more interesting story!!
i bet no one can resist a smile aftr reading dis!!

Jyoti Ajay said...

haa...very funny.
nice quotes.

Suresh Kumar said...

@ Priya
Archeologist hubby? woh tera wrinkles count karega when u told and no of teeth left as age progresses

@ Tulika
Ty

@ Divya
Hmm... Boys do not have the guts to confess da :)

@ Prathima
Hmm... thx....

@ Charmed one
ty

@ Tan
welcome to the blog

@ chinks
Hmn... ty... I am pleased to know that it brought a smile on ur face

@ JyothiAjay
Ty

Dhandal said...

Hilarious! A lovely idea to trick a sweet innocent husband! :) I shall keep tht in mind ;)

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Edhey Thumbi Haaduvenu by CA Suresh Kumar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
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