Friday, October 24, 2008

Mere Naseeb Mein Tu Hain Ki Nahin

Prem has a new neighbor. A software engineer and a bachelor, Rammurthy. No... He is not your twenty-something software engineer, he is sixty plus. It could be said that he started the trend of software engineers in that city. The old man now led a secluded life. It is being said that, he had devoted the last few years of his life for the development of some software which was to blend religion with science.
That day, Prem heard shouts of victory from Rammurthy's house "Govinda.. Mukunda... Murari..." In English, it can be translated as "Eureka...Eureka.". Now Prem was very curious of this software. So he sneaked into the neighbor's house when the latter went for a little stroll.

The software had a catchy name "Kismat Connection". The name said it all. The software enables you to find out the one who is destined to be your soul mate. How it works? It took the Indian Jyothir Shasthra from its roots and in its various forms and linked the same to the personal databases available across the net and used google earth to highlight the current location of the soul mate, along with their current snap. Did it really work ? Test data were fed and results were compared with actuals and they were on spot.
He decided to use the software to know whether Simran was there in his destiny. Crooning the song "Mere Naseeb Mein Tu Hain Ki Nahin", he fed his birth details.

The processing started and google earth zeroed on a local Male Gym. Prem was confused. But the result drove him completely nuts. He couldn't belive it. The local Gym teacher, Sridhar, a male(!!!) was his destiny, said the software. Image of the muscle man Sridhar showing off his biceps with bare minimum cloths was displayed with the caption "This Macho Man's shoulders is meant only for you." No chance!!! Prem couldn't resist talking to himself, "I can't be a Gay...Or Am I?..." Was this software not gender sensitive, Like some which were not case sensitive ?

So he hit the back button and cross checked the data and realized that he had failed to change the gender from female to male. After the small correction, the processing started again and this time the google earth zeroed in on a kindergarten school. Prem supposed that some kindergarten teacher was destined to teach him ABCs of love. But that was not the case too be. A cute image of a little girl, maybe five years old, was thrown up on the screen with the caption "You are the twinkle of her eyes". Prem couldn't believe his eyes. If this girl was his destiny, he has to wait another twelve years for this baby girl (she reminded him of the diapers ad) to mushroom into a beautiful princess. He didn't like the waiting game. He thought the program had some bugs and sure there was one. As the gender was changed, date of birth got reset to 01-01-2000.

After correcting the date of birth and checking other input details thoroughly, the submit button was hit. As the page was being downloaded, the excitment on Prem's face was very clear. But he didn't realize someone coming from behind and hitting the escape button. It was the software developer himself. Rammurthy was not happy with Prem, "This software is not meant for you. This is only for all those lazybones and cowards with huge money to waste on finding out their destiny sitting from the comforts of their homes rather than venturing out and finding it for themselves. I know that their count is huge in number. But I will not like to see you in that list" Prem thought to himself as to whether this old man was praising him or trying to drive him away. Anyway, he just vacated the room.

But hardly he had kept four steps, his mind told his eyes to peep through the keyhole. When Prem did, the old bachelor was found using the software . The old bachelor had fed his own details and was waiting eagerly for the results. The software was very fast to screen the following message "No Image to display. You Have run out of age. Better luck next life. Till then this song is especially for you."

Buddham Saranam Gachami...Dhammam Saranam Gachami...Sangham Saranam Gachami


Keshi said...

**"No Image to display. You Have run out of age. Better luck next life. Till then this song is especially for you."

**Buddham Saranam Gachami...Dhammam Saranam Gachami...Sangham Saranam Gachami

HAHHAHAHAHAHA that was too funny! Help I cant stop laffing! But ur mean Suresh lol!


Meira said...

Good one.
Happy Deepawali to you :)

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